Internal conflict is causing me to struggle...

GenCritAllDay · 2020-09-09T00:18:33+00:00

I can't put into words how much your comment means to me. Thank you.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-09-07T22:47:27+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I live in a super woke liberal city so unfortunately I haven't seen pushback from our parents. Then again, unless their child mentions it, none of them are aware of the pronoun thing this man plans to do in class and on Zoom. Last year, his first day was all about stating his special pronouns and telling them to watch Steven Universe. At the end of the year during teacher tributes, the two girls he groomed made his tribute slide and called him and his boyfriend cottagecore lesbians. However, many of the slides were problematic and I emailed the Head of the School myself and got the tribute slide document deleted. It's so obvious the type of boundary lines being crossed in his classroom and I'm hoping a parent sues someday. I'll look into the parents' groups. Thank you.

I went to the DOE website where I work. Here's one excerpt of the bullshit:

Health Class: The DOE prohibits gender segregation for health classes, including for classes or portions of these classes that deal primarily with human sexuality. Puberty education and sexuality education lessons must be designed to be inclusive and affirming of all genders, gender identities, and sexual orientations, and use gender-inclusive language throughout (e.g., “a penis” vs. “a boy’s penis,” or “one example of sexual anatomy” vs. “female sexual anatomy”).

GenCritAllDay · 2020-09-07T22:42:16+00:00

That's the same way I felt. When I noticed it becoming a trend, I brought my concerns to my boss who pretty much waved it off. I said that I was certain in a few months, one or both of those students would suddenly change pronouns and that if this were a straight male teacher, he'd be under suspicion and questioned about his intent and she waved that comment off as well.

A month later, before class began, my student approached me and asked if I would use they/them pronouns for her from now on except in front of her parents. I wanted to scream and my body was shaking with anger. I emailed my boss about it immediately. During my weekly meeting with my boss later that day, I told her I said this would happen and I was not comfortable with this, especially with the part where we keep the information from her parents especially considering Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria in young girls and the higher rates of suicide. My boss spoke to our Head of School and it was determined we can't "out" students. I was livid and for the rest of the year, including on her report cards, I referred to her by name only. Shortly after this, the second student that always ate lunch with him also started going by they/them pronouns. By the end of the year, both girls told their parents about their pronouns and everything was just wonderful apparently. That's the cost of living in an ultra woke liberal city, I guess.

At the end of the year, I was assigned to do the first girl's graduation speech and that teacher had the audacity to write me an email saying the student was worried that whoever was assigned to her wouldn't use the correct pronouns and to please use they/them. I told him I would be going pronoun free in my student speeches and I did just that. I hope someday she realizes she was groomed, she's a girl/woman, and that this was wrong.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-09-07T22:13:44+00:00

Yes. Two 8th grade girls who ate lunch with him in his room almost daily and by the end of the school year, both started to use they/them pronouns just like him.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-09-07T19:46:57+00:00

Unfortunately we only have ONE bathroom for staff, which is unisex, on our floor and the only other one is two floors down. It was often occupied and with only five minutes in between classes, we'd either have to hold it or go into the other bathrooms. There were two bathrooms for girls, two for boys, and one for staff. I often would go to the one that the girls didn't use as much unless it was occupied. I tried to use the staff bathroom whenever possible though.

Every teacher went to the restroom of their sex except for this guy who either used the staff one or the one all the girls loved with the tampons and pads in it. I know this man has a boyfriend but I don't know if he exclusively likes men. What I do know is that if a straight man on staff did that same thing, it would definitely cause an uproar.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-24T00:14:59+00:00

The comment from Nonbinaryunicorn is painfully ridiculous and delusional; I could not help but facepalm when reading it. I don't know how people like that navigate through real life.

Menstruation isn't female only because the doctors assigned you female at birth due to your genitals but you realized during puberty you're a man? No, you're a female. Get a grip on reality.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-23T18:18:52+00:00

Exactly. It's the ultimate "pick me" mentality. No thanks, I don't need men educating me on the "full scope" of womens experiences. It's baffling and idiotic.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-05T20:59:02+00:00

Aside from what everyone else has stated, I'm sorry but no five year old speaks like that. If they do, they're most likely headed for Harvard by the age of 14. This is a child who has seen a parent transition and, if anything, is parroting bullshit they've heard. The odds are that their narcissistic TiM of a father has been all me, me, me and they feel neglected. The kid probably noticed they get more attention and praise from their father when they say and do certain things so they keep doing it. The poor kid's probably going to need therapy.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-05T14:59:52+00:00

I'm so sorry.

I pretty much lost my best friend of 14 years to this. At first I had a live and let live mentality and she had a friend who was a TiF. I respected their pronouns and went about my business. As the years progressed and I opened my eyes to the nonsense, I saw my friend go down the rabbit hole of BS. Her Twitter is filled with the typical TRA mantras but what really got me was her use of the word N*zi. When we start misusing terms that carry a very deep and painful history to describe women who DARE to question views, especially against men, that's when I know sanity has gone out the window.

She emailed me to check in on me recently after a year of me ceasing communication. She was worried because I live in a COVID-19 hotspot but I haven't responded. Part of me really wants to tell her that I no longer feel safe communicating with her because I'm one of those pesky TRF NZIS she hates so much. She's an intelligent, blunt, gender nonconforming woman with a history of sexual abuse at the hands of men; I do not get why she's on the wrong side of the fence.

There is a part of me that feels like deep down she's questioning all of this somewhere in her mind but won't come out with it because she's scared. I know she's always felt ostracized by society due to her size, so I sense she almost feels this obligation to side with anyone who cries oppression, whether or not the claim is legitimate. A lot of her friends are socially awkward, anime obsessed, tumblr users who self-diagnose as autistic or with mental illness. She has an open heart and accepts anyone who accepts her. I've watched her get hurt in the past due to that. I feel like our relationship is strong enough where we'd be able to talk and hash out our differences or she'd eventually see the light but I am so afraid to find out her reaction that I chose the route of dropping communication with her. Even if she did accept my views, I cannot accept the flat out hatred of other women with the use of the word T*RF; I don't want to be her one exception to the rule. I'd rather remember the beautiful 14 years of friendship we had rather than having to reflect on what would most likely be a painful, final interaction between us.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-04T18:17:07+00:00

So they don't disclose and think that when actual intercourse takes place the other person won't notice? The other person would have to be very inexperienced and daft to not realize they're not dealing with a real vagina if the TiM is post-op.

Aside from it being rape by deception, I can't understand the morality behind it. "I'm going to form a trusted and loving bond with this person but not tell them something very important about my life that also affects them." I couldn't think about doing that to someone but then again I'm not a narcissist like a TiM.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-04T18:11:53+00:00

"In 1886, William Withers Moore, then president of the British Medical Association, warned of the dangers of overeducating women as they could develop a disorder he called “anorexia scholastica”, which made women immoral, insane and asexual." LMAO, wow.

It's always something. Studies that prove girls outperform boys even in STEM fields? "ThAt'S bEcAuSe ScHoOl iS sTrUcTuReD tO bEnEfIt GiRlS!" Always written by young men who were "too smart" or "too bored" in school, yet they failed their classes, they can't spell nor form a sentence to save their lives, they can't hold down a job, and they live in their mother's basement watching p*rn and eating chicken tendies all day.

Also, I'm just gonna leave this here: https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/how_it_works.png

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-04T18:05:58+00:00

I absolutely love when a black woman calls TRAs out. I feel like black women have an extra special fight in this because TRAs are constantly trying to draw comparisons to them, take away their femininity, or call any black woman that doesn't side with them a white woman in disguise or an Uncle Tom which is absolutely disgusting. That was such a brilliant smackdown of a thread about TRA nonsense.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-04T17:54:39+00:00

Did he ever answer it or just evade it?

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-04T08:47:01+00:00

I noticed that too but I'm quite curious if George Takei, as a gay man, would actually date a transman. Because according to TRAs, he's a bigot if he doesn't. I wonder what his stance would be if TRAs tried to force him to date a transman the way TiMs try to force themselves into the lesbian dating pool.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-03T20:22:03+00:00

Holy shit, the headline is actually scary:

"They’re 309 women who oppose transgender inclusion in sports, and wanted to do so in secret. But Martina Navratilova and her cosigners could not hide from us."

"Could not hide from us", how predatory. I love Linda Blade's tweet: "By trying to shame us you and your little NCAA minions who released the letter are showing us PRECISELY WHY we needed to write the letter. Because you are bullies."

That's exactly what they are: bullies. They doxx and send the brigade after people, shame people, threaten violence against anyone who speaks out. Yet all of this is fine because how dare we tell them no? How dare we oppose them? It's frightening. Yet misgendering them or not subscribing to their ideology is LITERAL violence and by doing so we LITERALLY kill trans people daily.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-03T20:15:07+00:00

Agreed, so many organizations have centered trans people that it's ridiculous. It stems beyond LGBTQ+ organizations too. Camps/clubs for girls/women in STEM? Must include transgirls/transwomen or else. Much like every news article's comment section six years ago eventually blaming Obama for breathing, every damn thing posted has to relate to transpeople every time, especially TiMs.

There was a discussion on another forum the other day about a post someone made shaming muscular women, saying that women shouldn't have abs and men have primal instincts to be attracted to curvy women only. Of course, our retort was "That's false, as everyone has different preferences, but really who cares what men find attractive? Why should that be our baseline for our appearance? Why are we constantly body shaming women no matter what?" Of course, in comes the brigade, "Well, MORE IMPORTANTLY, it's transphobic!" No, not more importantly. This was a post written by a woman shaming other women; we're not going to center transpeople yet again. Also, there is a big difference between a man being attracted to a woman with defined abs and a man being attracted to a man with defined abs.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-03T20:03:36+00:00

I have never read or heard one.

Any NB woman I've met is basically a tomboy with a bob or pixie haircut who is into science, tech, math, or dinosaurs. I work with a man who identifies as NB; he's essentially a gay man who likes to bake and paint his nails.

I'm a muscular woman with a math degree who likes dinosaurs, science and to bake and paint my nails. I am not special; I'm still a woman. It's called having interests and a personality.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-02T20:42:43+00:00

Gotta love how they can call us cis women and we're "allowed" to use their made up, preapproved term but when we use our own distinctions, such as bio women or natal women, they huff and puff about it.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-08-02T15:18:04+00:00

So female was dated and transphobic, now women is dated and transphobic. You know what's actually dated and misogynistic? Trying to erase women.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-07-30T19:11:10+00:00

I'm annoyed by all of these but "Femmepire Not Cisterhood" really got my eye twitching.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-07-30T19:06:32+00:00

I posted on ONTD all the time around 15 years ago and I visit on occasion just to keep up to date on pop culture, celeb deaths, etc and I was shocked by how TRA most of the comments were. I made a post here yesterday about how I find it infuriating that men can self ID as women no problem but people like Halsey and Pete Wentz who are white-passing POC are told they aren't black because the "one-drop rule" isn't enough. ONTD was actually the place I saw people making disgusting comments like that about white-passing black celebrities and negative comments about white people in general. It was gross.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-07-30T18:57:26+00:00

Exactly! Put in the wrong body by whom? Also, I thought there is no wrong body since you they claim don't even need to have surgery to identify as trans and oh yeah "girld**k is real"!

GenCritAllDay · 2020-07-08T23:37:19+00:00

TRAs comparing their issues to racism is the quickest way for me to get angry. No, you being told you can't use the ladies room isn't oppression.

When have trans people been slaves or have been denied the right to vote? When have trans people been held down for so long that they are at a socioeconomic disadvantage? In fact, they seem to be getting every little thing they want with little to no pushback.

They are riding on the backs of the work that black people, women, and LGB people have done to have equal rights. Now that everyone is afraid to be "canceled", they just submit to TRAs with no question.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-07-08T18:01:53+00:00

I'm LOVING all the positive comments!

I love how one of the first comments said "How dare you talk about what transphobia is when you're not trans you entitled cis person?" And the first reply is "Like the way entitled transwomen try to speak over women about their own experiences?"

They are so blind to their own transgressions. They're so "oppressed" that they can't see how entitled they actually are.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-07-08T17:53:42+00:00

Exactly. Most of the parent base is super left and we live in a very liberal city. We've had LGB employees, including myself, who were all fine. Things always get dicey with the T or NB people. The problem was just as you stated, the grooming. Apparently both girls came out as NB to their parents who were fine with it. I was sitting there like "Wonderful, we've lost two more intelligent, strong girls to the NB illusion because they probably think they're not like OTHER girls"

I truly hope when they get older they both realize that they were always and will always be women. That women are not just some cookie cutter, factory made species and that we all have different personalities.

GenCritAllDay · 2020-07-08T16:39:01+00:00

I was on GC on Reddit for over a year and I still feel the same hopelessness you do.

At first, my stance was let people live but then I started to see that TiMs started becoming more aggressive and refusing to let women live. Soon after I found GenderCritical and I was embarrassed by some of the things I never even considered. It was a real eye opener and led me to examine my own internalized misogyny as I've always felt "not fully a woman" because of society.

After a few weeks on GC I felt empowered but also hopeless and angry. A few months later, a NB man was hired at my job and immediately started making demands when he wasn't even at admin level. "Can we start meetings by stating our pronouns? We need to be putting our pronouns in our email signatures." After that the hopelessness grew.

Two strong female students at my job stayed hanging around this man who took it upon himself to start a LGBTQ+ club in our middle school. Nobody did anything. I went to my boss concerned about the amount of time the two female students were spending with him during lunches and recess; my concerns were dismissed. By the end of the school year, both girls bought into the NB crap and started using they/them/their pronouns. I predicted it, I informed people, I was ignored by everyone except one employee who is also GC. I'm so glad I found her.

Some days I just want to scream at the top of my lungs but I don't because I'll lose my job if I speak out. My glimmer of hope has been JK Rowling giving absolutely no fucks about speaking up because they can't stop her and the Reddit megaban having more people realize women are being silenced. As long as I know other women are here in solidarity, I have some hope.

GenCritAllDay