ColonizationThe perils of navigating the gay male dating scene as a straight female.

submitted by DrMantisToboggan from reddit.com

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[–]censorshipment 21 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Date other straight women... I mean other gay trans men. Why can't trans people be cisphobic and instead be trans4trans??

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Your submission has been removed due to:

    Rule 4. Disallowed Language

    Our sub seeks to champion LGB people of a variety of backgrounds, and want all of our LGB users to feel welcome. We do not allow specific ideological slang/terms to be used which may be used in a negative or divisive context. These include, but are not limited to: TIM/TIF, Timmy/Tiffany, MTT/FTT, etc

    We suggest using the following terminology instead: trans-identified (fe)male, trans (wo)man, trans natal (fe)male, trans people, FTM / MTF

    If you edit your submission to remove the phrase, or you feel this removal was performed in-error, please let the Moderators know by sending ModMail so your submission may be re-approved.

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    [–]JulienMayfair 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Like I said in another post, I'd suggest this person browse any number of gay porn subreddits and see what gets upvoted.

    Hint: brace yourself for dick . . . lots of dick.

    [–][deleted] 15 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

    I don't have any clue on club etiquette.

    Yeah, that much is clear since she's trying to go to gay clubs.

    [–]strawberrycake 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

    For fuck’s sake, why do trans people treat us like aliens in a fucking zoo? I don’t know what “gay club etiquette” is either. Stop acting like we’re some exotic creature you have to tame. 🙄

    [–]TiredTrendersSuper-gay 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    For fuck’s sake, why do trans people treat us like aliens in a fucking zoo?

    They're in the same boat as the straight folks who treat us the same way, so I've never been surprised the trans crowd treats us like zoo exhibits too.

    [–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    Those guys in comments are so willing to give up their spaces.

    [–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    They want to play nice because, like a significant portion of gay men, they feel the need to please everyone around them.

    They feel like doing this will make people like and accept them.

    [–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    They want to play nice because, like a significant portion of gay men, they feel the need to please everyone around them.

    Dumb question, do you think this is a common issue for gay men to struggle with?

    I have noticed it a lot with the few other lesbian women I've met IRL, and I know I struggle with it sometimes myself. But women in general also have this issue, so I wasn't really sure whether it was common among homosexual women per se as opposed to women, period.

    [–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Dumb question, do you think this is a common issue for gay men to struggle with?

    Definitely.

    For fear of facing rejection, some gay men will try to appease everyone who appears to embrace them: homophobic straight women, 'queer' grifters, you name it.

    This is why you'll see some even embrace far-right homophobic groups: they want to feel accepted so much that they literally throw themselves in the arms of the first ones who appear to like them.

    The reason behind this? Well...

    In gay men who have been rejected as kids this could be framed as an extreme reaction to abandonment, like a defense mechanism.

    In middle class ones who have grown to be woke slaves to the TQ+ this is just an element to their neverending quest to obtain social status, be recognized.

    It's stupid and dumb, but that's how it is most of the time.

    [–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Thanks for explaining, I appreciate it. That makes a lot of sense. Particularly the point about far-right homophobic groups-- that one always confused me.

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

    Does anyone else feel bad for her because she disfigured herself?

    [–]DrMantisToboggan[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

    I have no sympathy for a person who goes to such lengths chasing a fetish.

    [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    Well I have sympathy for them. I dont think they are right or deserving of validation for larping as a gay man but I feel sad for them. They are mentally ill and their disfigurement will be a permenant part of their life.

    [–]hufflepuff-poet 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    I feel bad for them, but I'm also at the end of my sympathy because of how much power these mentally ill people have managed to gain and wield against others. This is the logical conclusion when we let the delusional run the asylum, they start enacting their delusions on the physical world and their own bodies and invade others boundaries. #TotallyExpectedConsequences

    [–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Oh I agree they need to be fought on all fronts. I just cant help but feeling sad about the whole situation. If they had gotten better help instead of crippling affirmation they wouldnt be in so much pain and neither would society.

    [–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Too bad Talk therapy is becoming "Conversion" therapy and increasingly illegal now.

    [–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I agree. It's disturbing and heartbreaking to watch. At the end of the day, we're all human. I am simultaneously furious at how homophobic and aggressive such people are, and am also sad and horrified to watch someone do that to themselves.

    I get why many people here don't feel sympathy for such woman (and men, for the straight and/or AGP men who LARP as women). I think there is room for all these reactions, though.

    [–]DimDroog 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Not really, but I understand where you are coming from