Indoctrination / DoublethinkHow do I gaslight my straight boyfriend? Other women who have successfully gaslit their boyfriends weigh in.

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[–]Criticallacitirc[S] 39 insightful - 3 fun39 insightful - 2 fun40 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

The thing that makes me so annoyed. There's atleast 2 or 3 of these women who tell their story of having their boyfriend get used to their new pronouns/identity, meaning they were together before they transitioned. Now this larpers get to say theyre "gay man" & they're dating a " cis gay/bi guy" . Everytime anyone says gay men aren't interested in trans men, they get to chime in with their larp. When in reality it's just some pathetic straight man who will put up with these mentally ill women to get laid.

[–]JulienMayfair 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

This is a new twist to "suddenly gay." You think you're a straight man dating a straight woman, and then she decides she's a gay man, so you're now a gay man, too.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The pressure on LGB people (and honestly, straight people too) to re-define themselves and deny their actual sexual orientation when a partner identifies on transgender, is one of the most fucked-up forms of gaslighting and emotional abuse that many people in the transgender movement perpetrate. Example of a lesbian woman pressured to identify as "bisexual/straight" by her partner after her partner started identifying as a transman

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah and in this case the guy clearly doesn't consider it a gay relationship lol ... He called this ftm delusional for trying to claim to be a boy

[–][deleted] 31 insightful - 1 fun31 insightful - 0 fun32 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

I'm guessing this was a relationship that started before she came out as trans. The guy seems to be sticking with the relationship for god knows what reason, but is unwilling to play pretend with her.

This happens to straight women a lot. The man will just be a normal man, get her to marry him, have kids together, etc. Then he springs his trans identity on her and then tries to pressure her into identifying as a lesbian to feed his fetish. And the woman's just there trying to make it work for the kids, but dying inside.

But the guy in this story is just a boyfriend, not a husband, so kids likely aren't involved, so I don't get why he hasn't ran for the hills yet.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

In cases where the husband starts identifying as a woman and demanding that the wife identifies as a lesbian, this should be a ground for divorce and the wife getting sole custody of the children. Same if a wife suddenly identifies as a man, the husband should get divorced and get sole custody of the children too.

I don’t know why the guy in this situation is still with her. Maybe he thinks he can’t find someone better and is convinced that being alone is worse. Maybe he’s a friend his girlfriend will do something dangerous if he leaves her, although it’s still worth it just to leave her. Or maybe he’s leaving her now, but he’s just not telling her about it yet.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

A lot of people stay in relationships making them unhappy because they can't stay alone. It's sad to be unable to stay by yourself and thinking a bad relationship with a shitty person is better than being alone. But not everyone is the same, some people are miserable alone.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I’d rather just be alone than be with a shitty person, but that’s just me. I’m an introvert.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I agree with you. However, I used to have a complete inability to enforce boundaries with people and stayed in many toxic relationships/friendships even though I knew I was unhappy because I didn't realize I was allowed to say "no" and to leave. Perhaps this guy's a similar case.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

In that case, hopefully he learns to say stand up for himself. And good on you for learning to stand up for yourself as well.

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you. :) Took some time, but I got there in the end.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well done.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Me too. In the end introversion is a kind of power. Of course it doesn't change the need of intimacy. We're social animal, and even the most loner of the loners desire a connections, but it isn't like being alone makes us desperate and miserable to the point of wanting a relationship for the sake of a relationships.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well said.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's possible the person isn't pushing the trans ID very hard IRL and is just doing it and getting reinforced online.

The guy could just not realize yet if they only briefly discussed it... Or is just interested in hooking up not giving a crap about the self ID yet.

[–]linda_senora 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The poor women married to AGPs are terrified of the backlash.

AGPs are quite abusive and violent, and LGBT groups will side with the AGP and start harassing the AGP's wife. I am not surprised many women do not voice their complains.

[–]Fusrodamus 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But the guy in this story is just a boyfriend, not a husband, so kids likely aren't involved, so I don't get why he hasn't ran for the hills yet.

Men are often lazy when it comes to managing relationships. He's already called her delusional and refused to play along with her pronoun games, so it's pretty clear where he stands. He's leaving it to her to either accept that this is how their relationship is going to go or bail. She didn't bail, despite pronouns being the "bare minimum," so he knows he has the upper hand and that she'll likely come around eventually. As long as they're still having sex, he probably doesn't have a problem waiting her out.

[–]loveSloaneSuperDuperBi 25 insightful - 8 fun25 insightful - 7 fun26 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

The offhand comment about being in a lot of cults is just… actually believable.

[–]Retardation_station 20 insightful - 14 fun20 insightful - 13 fun21 insightful - 14 fun -  (4 children)

Yeah, because any straight dude wants to be in a relationship with a short, doughy, balding dude with a constant identity crisis.

It's like slapping a vagina on Danny Devito. Not. Fucking. Interested.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 18 insightful - 17 fun18 insightful - 16 fun19 insightful - 17 fun -  (3 children)

Danny Devito is amazing. Fuck you.

[–]Retardation_station 12 insightful - 9 fun12 insightful - 8 fun13 insightful - 9 fun -  (2 children)

I can't disagree. The man is a treasure. But I imagine his vagina would be less than pristine.

[–]DrMantisToboggan 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Hear, hear!

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 6 insightful - 7 fun6 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

But it would be the most funny pussy.

[–]Dromedary 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Lol. I hope the boyfriend drops this nutty bish ASAP. She's hectoring him with workbooks and jargon and she's MIFFED that he says he "needs time"? How dare he! All she's doing is turning him gay , that's all. His girlfriend suddenly demanding he consider her male. VALIDATE MAH MASCULINITY! Ugh, poor guy. Hit the road, Jack.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

He was raised in a very conservative culty community and I see that its hard to remove all these influences

Irony!

I don't understand why this boyfriend is even staying in a relationship with someone who wants to be considered a man, if he's straight. Is it because everyone thinks 'gay' and 'straight' is just a social identity now?

[–]SerpensInferna 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm just some rando on the internet, but some people will stay in any kind of relationship rather than being alone.

[–]JoeyJoeJoe 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Cannot and will not participate in the TRA doublethink. Pronouns be damned.

Biology. Reality. Sanity.

Thanks.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Seriously the minimum requirement for anyone to be my friend is to respect my pronouns.

Except that this woman also wants a straight man to pretend to be gay or bisexual just so she can feel validated in her delusions.

[–]Virginia_Plain 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

The workbooks look like something you'd give to an elementary school student, don't they? In general, I've noticed the infantilization of how people under 40 are addressed. There was a notorious "c-nts for f-gs" event held at the queer spirit festival, and someone on another board noted how the woman running the conference used bizzarely age-inappropriate language to discuss vaginas with adult gay men: "i'm here to teach you about INNIE parts tee-hee-hee," that kind of crap.

This attitude to come up in other "FTM wants gay man" discussions too, as if gay men are special needs children in adult bodies that need to be retrained. It really isn't that much different from some of the straight women I've met who talk to gay men in a weird baby voice.

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's common in Freudian-type psychology to associate same-sex attraction with immaturity. That might explain it

[–]linda_senora 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If I knew this person's name and that of her boyfriend, I would tell him to run for the hills.

He is not a prop.

[–]NonimeTired of Explaining Reality to Fuckwits (TERF) 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This woman will shortly be single, and will find that she is undateable because of her delusion.