I'm actually the OP myself and tbh, I have to admit that I hard time identifying or feeling in common with the majority of lesbians as well if "fucking and dating men" was the dominant and common experience.

I feel the following story below needs to be heard much more. Its from another forum. Its good example of goldstar positivity.

While I understand and respect that women and lesbians's journey can be different, as someone who grew up with a lesbian aunt and her group of lesbian friends (nine of them women from two different continents, and five different countries. My aunt and I are Irish/North Indians. Four are surgeons like my aunt, two lawyers, one architect, one accountant and one forensic research scientist), I feel like the notion and careless mention that "non gold stars" are many is an utter disrespect for many, many, many, many "gold stars/platinum stars".

Back in the days of my aunt and her friends' youthful days(early 70s to early 90s, where they were between their teenage years and twenties, they don't go by the star thing. In fact, they are beautiful and intelligent young women who chose to concentrate on furthering their education and establishing their career, along where they met their girlfriends and future wives)

These women come from various backgrounds and race, most of them are Europeans and Americans who didn't blindly follow any silly "peer pressure" and such. Some of their other lesbian friends who were from more conservative, religious background who initially thought that there was something wrong with them actually didn't resort to "following their peers or trying to date men", instead they isolated themselves from doing something that is extremely revolting to them. Eventually, they understood that being a lesbian is absolutely normal, and the hetero-patriarchal society they live in will never get to dictate their lives.

Growing up amidst these wonderful, brave women and learning more from their friends and acquaintances made me realise that stories and journies like this are often silenced and not spoken or told widely enough because these women treat being a lesbian as normal and as natural as the sun and moon, and defying the misogynistic, hetero-patriarchal society.

My sympathies and understanding for those who weren't brave or fortunate enough to have such courage and clearer mind and convictions but in all honesty, these are not the stories that should be told often because these are NOT the norm. These so called "non goldstars" are NOT the norm anywhere in the world, not even in countries like America where high schoolers are pressured to loose their "virginity" like it's some damn plague. It's just that they're stories and experience are repeated often, so very unfortunately. It almost seems like it's done on purpose by some other groups of people that try to tell other girls and women "hey, you can't decide you're gay/lesbian unless you've tried having sex or having sexual relations with men", which is extremely, disgustingly revolting. It's nothing but male entitlement demanding that any woman or girl must be available to men. This has to be eradicated, like twenty centuries ago.

My wish and advice to young lesbians is that they understand that in no terms do they ever have to do something that they're uncomfortable with, in no terms do they have to try something that they find utterly revolting just because their other friends are doing it, in no terms do they have to feel pressured to let their body be a merely available sexual object for some entitled piece of shit.

My wish for especially the young lesbians is that they understand that yes, it's absolutely normal to wait; Yes, it's absolutely normal to simply wait even for your very first kiss, your very first sexual relation with a girl/woman whom YOU are sexually (and even romantically) attracted to and who SHE is mutually attracted to and respects and cherish you as a person. Yes, it's absolutely alright to want your "firsts" to be special, with that special girl/woman.