Oh gotcha, well thanks for making that post! Really a pity the sub is now banned.

I think that post that you shared has a fantastic message. I wish I had heard that when I was younger.

That said-- I am kind of skeptical of this claim:

but in all honesty, these are not the stories that should be told often because these are NOT the norm. These so called "non goldstars" are NOT the norm anywhere in the world, not even in countries like America where high schoolers are pressured to loose their "virginity" like it's some damn plague.

Source? I am skeptical because unless there is data, it is just a battle of "no, MY anecdote is more common!" she-said, she-said, so to speak. I haven't read up on this topic at all, though, it could well be true.

Perhaps I am not fully understanding what "goldstar" means, as well-- my understanding was that if, say, you were raped you'd be a non-goldstar, the same as you'd be no longer a virgin, correct me if I'm wrong (I am not much impressed by the label "virgin", but just as a point of comparison). And lesbians are like 2-3 times likelier than straight women to have been through sexual abuse, for example, so it would make sense that many would self-describe as being "non-goldstar" if they define the term this way. edit: and would also explain their insecurity about it... which is entirely understandable but not an excuse for bullying others, please go to therapy, people.

Tbh-- I think mental illness plays into it, too. Those who have no sense of boundaries, or who were groomed from childhood, are unlikely to say no or to realize that they can say no. Again, lesbians are statistically at a disadvantage on that front. There was a fascinating comment about this on a thread I saw on here a while ago, I might try and find it.