LesbianThe kids think you can somehow be lesbian and also 100% asexual

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[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 10 insightful - 7 fun10 insightful - 6 fun11 insightful - 7 fun -  (3 children)

Are they outlining their plans and expectation of outcomes now?

1-2 panels: Straight(b&w striped flag) male transitions to transbian.

3-4 panels: Lesbian feeling pressured by transbian, suddenly calls herself asexual.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

1-2 panels: Straight(b&w striped flag) male transitions to transbian.

3-4 panels: Lesbian feeling pressured by transbian, suddenly calls herself asexual.

Omg lol. I didn't even think of that but in retrospect it seems so obvious.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

How did I not see this??? Because, yeah-- you just know that this very scenario is playing out for real. ALL THE TIME. And if lesbians are managing to use this stupid Conversion Therapy 2.0 genderist ideology against itself? Then I say: good for them.

I also wonder, given how successful the TQ+'s "lesbian = woman who's exclusively-same-gender-attracted" con has been, if many young lesbians-- upon noticing their complete lack of attraction to "transbians"-- genuinely think that they must be "ace" somehow. Since there are these "women" they MYSTERIOUSLY just can't see in a sexual way at all! How else to explain it...?

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I also wonder, given how successful the TQ+'s "lesbian = woman who's exclusively-same-gender-attracted" con has been, if many young lesbians-- upon noticing their complete lack of attraction to "transbians"-- genuinely think that they must be "ace" somehow. Since there are these "women" they MYSTERIOUSLY just can't see in a sexual way at all! How else to explain it...?

It's interesting to me how different (lesbian) individuals react to the TQ+ shaming: "If you don't want to date a trans woman then you're a horrible person!" Some lesbians respond by calling themselves asexual; that's one pathway.

My own pathway was different. Ironically, "trans women" were part of what made me realize I was lesbian. I had been hiding behind the bisexual label for years because I knew I couldn't deny my same-sex attraction, but assumed that I had to be attracted to men, some man, somewhere, in spite of the fact that I was never attracted to the ones around me. I realized scrolling through AGP-dominated "lesbian" Tumblr posts that dick grossed me out and that I didn't want to date a guy, and that I perceived "trans lesbians" as male. And then I saw all those shaming messages and felt horrible about myself. Eventually, I confronted the possibility that I might be lesbian, and the idea disturbed me so much that I believed I had to transition and was a "man." So there's another pathway-- identifying as nonbinary or as a "trans man" instead.

I wouldn't say that TQ+ shaming was the only thing that drove me to the belief that I needed to transition. My homophobic religious upbringing laid the foundation for that. But it did give me a shove in that direction. "There's something wrong with me-- with my sexual orientation; I can fix it if I transition."

(Sorry, that's a very navel-gazey wall of text in response to your observation, lol.)

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Because these dumbasses somehow don't get that "lesbian" is a sexual orientation. Meaning that it's fundamentally about SEXUAL ATTRACTION. Not just "liking" someone; not "appreciating them aesthetically" (lol WTF???). So, kids, if you aren't a woman who has, as they say, "pants feelings" exclusively for women? YOU. AREN'T. A. LESBIAN. Fuckin' DUUUUUH.

Are these straight chicks desperate to claim that oh-so-fashionable (for everyone except homosexual females apparently) "lesbian" label? And having to find a workaround for the inconvenient fact that pussy makes them go "EWWWW"? Or what?

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is what happens when Tumblr started demonizing the so called "oppressive groups" aka straight and "cis" people + treating minority as some inherently good guys who if do something wrong then it's only because of the oppressive system or what. Add to that treating minority groups as some kind of... unicorns and fascinating aliens. Yes, it's ironic that Tumblr mindset still treats minority groups like aliens, whose nature no one understands until the said alien speaks up and "educates" people. So wrong. So fucking wrong. And here we are with the mental gymnastics to make a straight woman non-straight actually so she's no longer an evil oppressive cishet. And on top of that suddenly so quirky and unique.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I genuinely dislike breaking down asexuality into aromanticism and asexuality. It gets stupid when you hear about a heteroromantic asexual person, who also claims to love and seek sex. Or weird label called aegosexual where a person somehow claims to be asexual but they fantasize about sexual stuff but without them being involved. So apparently asexual lesbian is an asexual woman who is homoromantic. To me it sounds like being afraid to embrace being a lesbian fully - I guess it's because how this label tends to be used in porn settings and homosexuality has been always painted as somehow... more severely sexual than being straight? So I guess being asexual lesbian makes this people feel better about themselves? Instead of trying to fight the homophobic myths. Been always a fan of simplicity - people can be gay, bi, straight or asexual. The rest is just Tumblr stuff where straight girls wanna be non-straight with enough mental gymnastics. I'm genuinely tired of these people and make me hate myself. I wouldn't consider myself asexual if not for a fact... no matter what I indeed have no sexual attraction whatsoever.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

To me it sounds like being afraid to embrace being a lesbian fully

Yup, I think some gay/lesbian people do hide behind the "asexual" label.

I'm genuinely tired of these people and make me hate myself.

Hey, their insanity is not your fault; you don't deserve to beat up on yourself for that. It must be frustrating watching them make a mockery of your own lived experience. (I sure know I feel that way when people misuse the "lesbian" label...)

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Hey, u/INeedSomeTime, I realize that this is slightly off-topic-- it's more about asexuality per se, rather than in the specific context of this post-- but something recently occurred to me about where it might come from. And how that could actually be the same place as the three sexual orientations. So this would explain all of them, as naturally-occurring forms of fundamental human sexuality. And mean that the existence of one inherently requires the existence of the others.

I've been wanting to run this theory of mine by you for a while now; would you be interested?

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Sure though I wonder how do you want to run this theory?

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Well, it's not terribly complex-- esp cuz it's based on my understanding of epigenetics, which is rudimentary at best!

See, I thought that, since sexual orientation seems so inherent, it must be genetic in origin. So let's imagine, for purposes of simplicity, that just two genes are involved: one for attraction to women, and one for attraction to men. And everybody has both of these genes. But: epigenetics. These genes can each be switched on... or off.

So, for most people, at least one gene is switched off.

With the majority of women, it's the attraction-to-women gene; with the majority of men, it's the attraction-to-men gene. These are the heterosexuals.

For a smaller group of women and men, it's the reverse (gene for the opposite sex switched off). These are the homosexuals.

For another small group... it's both genes. That's the asexuals.

And, for the smallest group... it's neither gene; both are switched on. You guessed it: MY people-- the bisexuals.

But see how this theory accounts for everybody? Including asexuals? There are four possibilities here; you're one of them. A variation on a theme. The same as the rest of us.

So... what do you think?

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It definitely sounds interesting! But now someone would need to track down such a gene or a complex of genes working this way.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh, for sure! It's strictly a thought-experiment at this point, of course. But I like how it puts everyone on equal footing. Asexuals included :)

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

To me it sounds like being afraid to embrace being a lesbian fully - I guess it's because how this label tends to be used in porn settings and homosexuality has been always painted as somehow... more severely sexual than being straight?

From my observations, it’s the opposite. A woman who calls herself an “asexual lesbian” is already embracing the “lesbian” label, something that lesbians in denial and these days a large swath of out lesbians are reluctant to do. We realize we are lesbians because of our sexual feelings toward women but our sexuality does not look like the porn industry’s idea of “lesbian.”

Who is it that’s calling themselves “asexual lesbians?” It appears more often to be technical straight women who don’t want to be alone but have issues with their attraction to men. They strongly desire to be partnered and reap the benefits of a relationship. Hence they are not actually asexual. The “asexual” label is an excuse for them to avoid pussy and sexual stuff with women who their body is telling them they are not attracted to. They don’t like being in “relationships” with women because to them it’s just being gal pals. All the stereotypes like adopting pets together without the physical.

They ironically are not adverse to the “lesbian” label because they aren’t lesbians and don’t have to internalize any of the shit that comes with being an actual lesbian. Eventually, these women will end up with men, but they are trying to heel themselves with women first.

This is different from women who conceive of themselves as asexual/unable to be attracted to anyone before accepting their exclusive same-sex attraction to women. But those women are not going to simultaneously identify with asexuality and lesbianism because it’s the asexual self-conception that is the cope to avoid accepting factual lesbianism.

[–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

RIP Snappy, I AM THE NEW GOD!

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