Bisexualr/bisexualadults - Might as well say I'm a gay man who likes women

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[–][deleted] 24 insightful - 3 fun24 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

??????????????????? Isn’t this classic “biphobia” and “bi erasure”???????? Why is no one calling out this BS in the comments?????? The call is coming from inside the house

[–]usehername 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

The reddit subs are shit. 50% complaining about biphobia/erasure, 50% sexuality is fluid and I'm enlightened because I like both pussy and dick instead of just one you genital-objectifying pleb

[–][deleted] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

how are they complaining about biphobia/erasure (legitimate issues) while doing shit like this????? HOW

once again i feel bad for the normal bisexuals. their community spokespeople are absolute weirdos

[–]usehername 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

how are they complaining about biphobia/erasure (legitimate issues) while doing shit like this????? HOW

Bi-erasure is more harmful to homosexuals than bisexuals because it legitimizes the idea that homosexuals can be "converted". Biphobia just tends to be insults/stereotypes like "bi people are hoes" and never results in violence (though bi people are subjected to homophobic violence, which some people call "biphobic" eyeroll). So bi people aren't subjected to the negative effects as much as homosexuals, who are specifically targeted. They do suffer when homophobia increases as a result, but it's not like their only other option is to be celibate if you know what I mean. Basically idiots rampage with low consequences while homosexuals and sane bis watch in horror.

their community spokespeople are absolute weirdos

There are just so many of them.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

well i have seen the CDC statistics on sexual assault, domestic violence and mental health/substance abuse for bisexuals in comparison to lesbians/gays and straights, so I find it completely plausible that biphobia can have a tangible, violent effect on bisexuals, particularly bisexual women in relationships with men. i agree with the rest though.

[–]usehername 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

True. I just meant that a person isn't going to be violent towards a bi person just because they're bisexual because the perp is biphobic. Maybe if the perp is homophobic.

[–]orangina5 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

it's amazing how these people usually go on the attack towards gays and lesbians. all their concentration is on gays. the most annoying comment i see there is this bisexual woman saying: "with my gay friends, sometimes when we're alone I ASK THEM just to make sure theyre alright and if theyre really "gay". ....you're...kidding, right? Most of these bisexual subs are "at war" with gays and lesbians and this is one of their propaganda points. They dont focus on heterosexuals but demand the gay and lesbian community turn into a shit show. Yes bi people, gay people's homosexual identity is made out of solid titanium because of the refining process of "anything but gay".

2 things damage the bisexual community:

  1. They LOVE hanging on to, grooming and recruiting confused gay/lesbian teenagers to beef up their numbers (they already have them but just have a serious hatred for gays/lesbians because they want to validate the "everyone is fluid" propaganda). When they hold on to these gay kids, they just set up time bombs of a gigantic portion of their community being a bunch of vulnerable innocent kids with internalized homophobia using bisexuality as a stepping stone for homosexuality.

  2. The "bi erasure" by just saying you're gay but that only happens because they end up just fighting, competing with and sabotaging gays and lebsians to colonize their spaces instead of fighting with, competing against and colonizing heterosexual spaces and resources. There's no such thing as "biphobia". The fact that bisexuals on here like to pretend theyre oppressed by homosexuals is insane and very telling of their "agenda". There is a 1 drop rule of homophobia for men. If you're tainted by even the smallest drop of homosexuality, you're irredeemable, weak, feminine and undesirable. Thats just pure homophobia. No mixed race person says there's "mix-a-phobia" because he's half white and half black. He's tainted because he has "blackness" in him. But out of spite, they'll pretend homophobia isnt the issue just to be petty because god forbid they acknowledge real issues that might advance gay interests so they need to invest their resources that personally benefit them and screw over gays and lesbians. Again, how are we not seeing the hostility here? And why are we empowering it as gays and lesbians?

And just so we're keeping things in perspective, around 95% of bisexual men are overwhelmingly into women. And over 95% of bisexual women are overwhelmingly into men that they call themselves "heteroromantic", as in they have no ability to feel emotions to the same sex or experience any romantic attraction to the point where their same sex attraction is non existent. They bully and harass, make fun of and dismiss the 5% bi people who are coming from the gay community.

I just find it interesting that they're hostile to gays and lesbians with this "sexual fluidity" stuff and "investigating" our sexualities but these bisexuals keep their heads down, submit and get very, very scared of heterosexuals and comfortably live under their feet. Interesting how they have very different energies when it comes to attacking gays and lesbians vs how theyre complicit with heterosexual supremacy.

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I just find it interesting that they're hostile to gays and lesbians with this "sexual fluidity" stuff and "investigating" our sexualities but these bisexuals keep their heads down, submit and get very, very scared of heterosexuals and comfortably live under their feet. Interesting how they have very different energies when it comes to attacking gays and lesbians vs how theyre complicit with heterosexual supremacy.

A lot of broad generalizations here... funny, your descriptions remind me a lot of the opinions of this one very tenacious user on this sub who hates bisexuals. Lol.

[–]orangina5 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

funny how mine is one of the top rated comments on here. almost like all gays and lesbians have a deep, deep problem with the naturalized dehumanization of gays/lesbians by bisexuals who have a long history of trying to gaslight as many gay people as possible that we're not equal and dont deserve basic human rights and it's more of a sex thing. hmmm, someone forgot the 60's and 70's gay rights movement or the laughter from bisexuals when they heard gays/lesbians wanted gay marriage. Yup, "allies". So when are they going to stand up to heterosexuals and their homophobia instead of this imagined biphobia they speak of? Notice my upvotes? Where's yours? All their aggression, and i mean ALL of their aggression is about trying to colonize gay/lesbian resources/spaces and to hijack as much of it as possible and remain and quiet, submissive and scared in heterosexual spaces. How are we supposed to respect that? Seems like an effort at collective bullying but they expect no consequences or barriers from it. It's almost like their sense of entitlement comes from their homophobia and that's the root of the issue.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I'm not sure if you read the rules, but in case you didn't notice them, they say:

  1. General Guidelines / Civility: All LGB are welcome here. Be respectful of each other's differences. Discuss ideas, not individuals. No broad generalizations. No witch-hunting.

Which is why I pointed out that you are making overly broad generalizations without evidence behind them. I get wanting to vent your frustration with the actions of certain very vocal bisexual people, but it's simply unrealistic to suggest they're all like that, there isn't some secret conspiracy of bisexuals or something, lol. The ones on here are pretty nice. :)

almost like all gays and lesbians have a deep, deep problem with the naturalized dehumanization of gays/lesbians by bisexuals who have a long history of trying to gaslight as many gay people as possible that we're not equal and dont deserve basic human rights and it's more of a sex thing.

Evidence for this claim? I've heard straight people say that, but I have never heard bisexual people say that.

All their aggression, and i mean ALL of their aggression is about trying to colonize gay/lesbian resources/spaces and to hijack as much of it as possible and remain and quiet, submissive and scared in heterosexual spaces. How are we supposed to respect that?

Hmm. That's an interesting suggestion. If you looked solely at "LGBTQ+ online spaces" such as Reddit, Tumblr, etc. I can understand why someone might come to that conclusion. But, there is some evidence to suggest that it is currently "trendy" to self-identify as "LGBTQ+" and a lot of those people calling themselves bisexual... may not actually be bisexual at all. In which case, it isn't the fault of people who are actually bisexual. This is what I find frustrating about being part of an invisible minority, anyone can just say they're LGB even if they know they are not same sex attracted and then use their "identity" as a means of making an appeal to authority in political arguments.

Notice my upvotes? Where's yours?

Ah, I forgot, since I have only 2 meaningless internet points compared to your... 2... that means that anything I say is invalid! Lol.

[–]usehername 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

a lot of those people calling themselves bisexual... may not actually be bisexual at all.

It's possible, but the fact that in the U.S., only 28% of bi people are out to their closest friends and family, as opposed to 70% of gay people, makes me think that the reddit idiots are probably telling the truth. The problem isn't sane, stable bisexuals like the ones on this forum. It's the >72% of bisexual people who are in the closet and the unnamed millions all over the world who are insecure, in complete denial and perpetuate conversion-therapy supporting myths. It's not a conspiracy, bisexual people in denial eat up propaganda and shit TRA rhetoric. I don't agree with everything orangina5/grammaroo says, but there really are a lot of bisexuals doing this. There are plenty of sane bi people, but our numbers are huge.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

That's a good point; the fact that a substantially higher proportion of bisexual people are in the closet compared to gay people, probably is directly related to differences in both behaviors and insecurities. Almost kinda makes me wonder... if bisexuals drive LGB-related conversations online, just because they are way more likely to be talking about their sexual orientation online than someone who is gay? I am thinking something like:

  • Being in the closet is associated with insecurities about one's sexual orientation, or at least, openly stating one's sexual orientation (on average, but not always for each individual obviously). Bisexuals are more likely to be in the closet

  • An individual who thinks they cannot talk about a topic important to them IRL, is probably more likely to go online to talk about it. Gay people are more likely to be out and thus, are less likely to have to rely on the internet as a resource when they want to talk about their sexual orientation.

  • So then, out of all the LGB people online talking about their sexual orientation, they are more likely to be bisexual-- all else held equal. (Add to that, the fact that more people self-describe as bisexual than as gay/lesbian, and the conversation becomes even more bisexual-driven.)

It's not a conspiracy, bisexual people in denial eat up propaganda and shit TRA rhetoric.

I don't think it is a conspiracy, I just think there is a sizeable proportion of people who self-describe as bisexual who may just be doing so to virtue signal. (I'll admit my bias... among my peer groups IRL, everyone seems to believe "being sexually fluid = open-minded" and they all want to seem open-minded, so I've seen a lot of people act like. Perhaps I have seen a disproportionate amount of this behavior, relative to the number of people who actually do it.)

I think there are also a lot of bisexual-identifying people who are, indeed, bisexual, and as you said, unfortunately believe in gender identity ideology. I still think it's important not to making broad, sweeping generalizations. There is nothing inherently bad, selfish or negative about bisexual people, the same as any other demographic, that is causing them to fall for the transgender movement's propaganda, though it is true that bisexuals seem to believe the transgender movement's propaganda more.

[–]usehername 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Almost kinda makes me wonder... if bisexuals drive LGB-related conversations online, just because they are way more likely to be talking about their sexual orientation online than someone who is gay?

Hmm it's possible. Young, closeted people would be more likely to go online and chat and share memes about their sexuality, as opposed to someone secure in their identity, and/or someone who's settled down, unless they have another reason to chat about sexuality-related topics such as the one we have in this sub. Yeah, I think you have something there.

I just think there is a sizeable proportion of people who self-describe as bisexual who may just be doing so to virtue signal.

It's possible, definitely when it comes to celebrities. However, I think that population is much smaller than actual closeted bisexuals. Anecdotally, most bi people I know are closeted and no one I know just uses it to virtue signal (these are close friends so I know their habits lol). I do think a lot of celebrities use "being bi" to virtue signal, though the fact that they're using it to virtue signal doesn't mean they can't be bi.

There is nothing inherently bad, selfish or negative about bisexual people, the same as any other demographic, that is causing them to fall for the transgender movement's propaganda, though it is true that bisexuals seem to believe the transgender movement's propaganda more.

Definitely not. I think they're just more insecure and well, the myths (sexuality is fluid, genitals don't matter, trans woman are women because I would fuck them) ring true to them. There's nothing there that a bisexual person could discount with their own experiences. They have to listen to monosexuals and understand that their experience is not the default, which requires empathy, which people suck at in general.

Anyways great analysis.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

bisexuals drive LGB-related conversations online, just because they are way more likely to be talking about their sexual orientation online than someone who is gay?

That is one of the truest things I've ever seen on this sub. That is exactly the case. The few bisexuals I've ever known in real life were people I mostly couldn't relate to or find common ground with. Bisexuals also don't have shared experiences as a group, and our openness about our sexuality has more to do with our personal financial and social situation than anything else. I've always had a easier time finding my people online.

There is nothing inherently bad, selfish or negative about bisexual people, the same as any other demographic, that is causing them to fall for the transgender movement's propaganda

Thank you. I appreciate the distinction being made. It really does make a huge difference to have a lesbian pointing that out.

I think your read on bisexuals is solid. We are people who come of age sort of in a vacuum and can't seem to help hurting gays and lesbians in our confusion. It's doing a lot of damage and needs to change.

[–]orangina5 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

so first it wasnt true, then it was true but it's not bisexuals trying to colonize, confront and attack gays and lesbians? of course theyre welcome here...to create a supporting environment to end homophobia. that's it.

bisexuals have lots of internalized homophobia and never saw the value of humanizing same sex attraction or see it as worthy of anything more than a fetish. theyre the experts because they experience same sex attraction and their same sex attraction is so cheap, so utterly worthless that it's just a little fetish. but those full on fetishists like gays and lesbians seem insane and take it too far to turn their fetish into a full blown lifestyle like bastardizing marriage rights and sacred institutions for a fetish meant for 3 ways.

"i can see why you would think that bisexuals push for heterosexual supremacy! it's not like over 95% of them define themselves as "heteroromantic", meaning inability to feel any emotional bonds to the same sex and pass that off as a normal thing and demand a seat at the table!"

focus your energy on not celebrating heterosexual supremacy so much and swimming in its privilege while smirking at the gay and lesbian kids who couldnt even get married. we all know what bullies look like: fight the vulnerable minority whenever it makes small advancements and live under the feet of your heterosexual friends you're too afraid to confront. that's been bi history the entire time. absolutely no positive political interactions with the gay/lesbian community.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

of course theyre welcome here...to create a supporting environment to end homophobia. that's it.

If an aggressive and homophobic person sees a pair of men or a pair of women making out, they don't care whether any of them are bisexual vs. homosexual... they will hate them just the same. Even though by the numbers, bisexuals end up in opposite-sex relationships more often than same-sex relationships, they still face homophobia in same-sex relationships. I wouldn't call bisexual people just "allies" in the same way that straight people are allies.

"i can see why you would think that bisexuals push for heterosexual supremacy! it's not like over 95% of them define themselves as "heteroromantic", meaning inability to feel any emotional bonds to the same sex and pass that off as a normal thing and demand a seat at the table!"

I think that stuff is bullshit, the so-called "split attraction model". There is no empirical evidence supporting it as far as I'm aware.

focus your energy on not celebrating heterosexual supremacy so much and swimming in its privilege while smirking at the gay and lesbian kids who couldnt even get married.

Are you talking to me or is this a lecture directed at the world...? I'm a gay woman and I'm well aware how much straight people can hate gay people.

absolutely no positive political interactions with the gay/lesbian community.

That sounds like a reductive summary, but if you have any reading material or experiences to share regarding that, I'd be curious to hear more. My understanding was that early on in the gay rights movement, bisexuals were told to (or at least tended to) "pick a side" and the broader public couldn't seem to grasp or accept the idea of bisexuality.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They LOVE hanging on to, grooming and recruiting confused gay/lesbian teenagers to beef up their numbers (they already have them but just have a serious hatred for gays/lesbians because they want to validate the "everyone is fluid" propaganda). When they hold on to these gay kids, they just set up time bombs of a gigantic portion of their community being a bunch of vulnerable innocent kids with internalized homophobia using bisexuality as a stepping stone for homosexuality.

Doesn't this 'everyone is fluid' bs paints bissexual people as unstable? Isn't this supposed to be a bad thing?

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So their actions and pattern of thinking are exactly the problem they are complaining about? What else is new? The lack of self-awareness is just astounding.

How do you expect others to do better in understanding bisexuality if you purposely misrepresent and actively erase your own bisexuality in your conversations with people out of convenience, not even fear? Acting like it’s a chore to say “no I’m bi.” Seems like that would lead to fewer conversations down the line when you act on your opposite sex attraction. If I hit on a woman and asked if she was gay and she said “no I’m Bi” I would see that as a positive. She’s being straightforward and honest and owning her bisexuality. That’s attractive. If she says she’s gay and then starts getting with dudes, she ends up coming across deceitful and untrustworthy. That’s obviously unattractive and the exact reason that some lesbians may otherwise be wary of her.

This reframing of fluidity seems more an attempt to recast a particular sexual orientation as more enlightened and moral when it reality, they’re being dishonest. Their sexual orientation isn’t fluid. It’s just attraction to both sexes and like a straight or gay person you’re not going to be attracted to all members of the sex(es) you’re attracted to at all times. That’s called having standards and preferences.

[–]usehername 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

A shit ton of bi people in the comments are convinced they're enlightened instead of just having one of three possible sexual orientations. Also this hilarious claim:

I think that GOOFY Miley Cyrus started this labeling shit and naming ur sexual choices and activities

[–]orangina5 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

if you're curious, i looked through his profile and he's a tumour. I went through every single comment he's wrote and apparently this post was somehow put into every single bisexual subreddit.

He's having an argument with an older bisexual man married to a bi woman. they have 3 kids and they knew one of their kids was gay when he was 5. "our son is now 30 and married to a man and lives a very successful life". <-- the black bisexual man is arguing with him saying "you're not born gay, they choose it". So, not only is this guy pretending to be gay because he's from the ghetto black community with psychotic levels of homophobia which his kind do nothing to fix, but now he's rampaging through, arguing and harassing other bisexuals telling them gays are not born gay but they choose it.

what an interesting individual.

[–]Rage-Xion 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That reminds me of the late Magdalene Berns who said in one video that activists want to redefine the word "lesbian" so it doesn't mean "lesbian".

[–]Rag3 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What? He had it right already! Ffs. What’s wrong with bisexuality? 🤦🏿‍♀️

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It’s natural for bisexuals to prefer one sex over the over. I can understand saying your gay or straight if your split is 90/10 in favour of one of the sexes, just for the sake of convenience. But if it’s a 60/40 split, or even a 70/30 split, you might as well just tell the truth about your orientation.

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Nah. if you’re 90/10 you still gotta say bisexual. That’s how we arrive at “I’m a lesbian with an exception” or “I’m a lesbian and likes dick as long as it’s a passing trans woman”. You’re not gay unless you’re gay. Just say bisexual.

Edit: I dated a bi woman over the early days of covid quarantine who said shes "95% women 5% men" and only dates and has sex with women, but still had a little attraction to men sometimes, just not enough to pursue relationships with them. She had a bisexual symbol tattoo and a bi pride flag in her room. She was normie and not really involved in The Discourse at all. It didn't work out for various reasons but i had mad respect for her for that.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Damn respect for that bi lady. A true champ. Agree with you 100%.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Good point. Good on your ex-girlfriend for having common sense.