All: Disclosure and Consent

submitted by loveSloaneDebate King from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]worried19 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (98 children)

I mean, if I'm dating a man, isn't it reasonable to expect him to have a penis?

It just seems bizarre to say that I should have to announce up front that I want a partner with a penis.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 2 insightful - 9 fun2 insightful - 8 fun3 insightful - 9 fun -  (97 children)

Trans men do have penises though. You mean to say that you expect a man that you’re interested in to have a penis of a certain type. Also you don’t have to announce it but remember that if you assume and you’re wrong you shouldn’t get mad at the other person, you should just tell them that it isn’t going to work out and leave.

Reasonable is subjective

[–]FlippyKingSadly this sub welcomes rape apologists and victim blaming. Bye! 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

you obviously are not defining "penis" in a way that most people accept.

If, as you say, "reasonable is subjective" then it is perfectly reasonable for someone who subjectively concludes they were misled to be upset. Disclose, be honest and up-front. It will save a lot of grief for everyone.

[–]worried19 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (94 children)

"Bottom surgery" for trans men is incredibly rare, though. The vast, vast majority of trans men have their normal, unaltered vaginas.

I'm not saying I'd get mad. That's not my style. But it seems like it would be a waste of time for both of us.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Doesn’t even matter that bottom surgery is rare. A neophallus is still not a penis lol

[–]worried19 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

True, but I'm trying to work with Heim where he or she is at.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Fair enough lol

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 3 insightful - 8 fun3 insightful - 7 fun4 insightful - 8 fun -  (2 children)

She

[–]worried19 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thanks. I wasn't sure, and I always feel weird about using "they" if that's not someone's preference.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 2 insightful - 6 fun2 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Your sweet

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 8 fun1 insightful - 7 fun2 insightful - 8 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah it is. You’re not in charge of denoting what is or is not a penis.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know a penis isn’t made out of vagina and arm skin lol

It’s not a penis. It doesn’t look or function like one at all. It’s obviously not a penis lol. We can tell just by looking. We can tell just by hearing a description.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (85 children)

Okay then save time and say you’re only interested in guys with dicks that match whatever your preferences are.

[–]worried19 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (84 children)

So you are saying I have to announce it. I've got a partner anyway, so I hope I'll never have to deal with the dating scene, but I can't imagine needing to specify. Plus if I did write "I only want to date men with dicks" on a dating profile, I'd be accused of bigotry. You really can't win with some of the QT crowd.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (83 children)

I mean your preferences being honored doesn’t mean people won’t judge you.

[–]worried19 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (82 children)

So I'm basically a bigot who deserves to be judged for not wanting to sexually interact with vaginas?

I'm not attracted to vaginas. I don't want to have sex with someone who has a vagina. I want a man who has a working penis with testicles and that is able to get erect and is able to ejaculate semen. That's a core part of my sexuality right there. Why should I be shamed for that? I'd not saying trans men are bad people. I just don't want to fuck them.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Conversion “therapy” but make it woke.

[–]worried19 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

And then QT wonders why people call them "rapey." It's because of stuff like this. Even if I say I like trans men and consider trans men to be men, it's not good enough. I have to be willing to have sex with them.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep! It’s seriously disturbing. You can say qt slogans all day long but the second you have a hint of a boundary, you’re cast out and a devil. Doesn’t matter how much you kowtowed before.

It’s why I don’t see any point giving a middle ground. You can’t negotiate with people who only want to dominate.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 8 fun5 insightful - 7 fun6 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

No, you just need to tell every date "that you expect a man that you're interested in to have a penis of a certain type" and describe your penis "preferences." Like any good ally.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (77 children)

A) Not all transmen have front holes

B) If you were with a cis man who lost his dick do you think people wouldn’t judge you for leaving him?

[–]BiologyIsReal 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (25 children)

Females, however they identify, don't have "front holes". They have vaginas. Also, "front hole" is anatomically inaccurated too because the vagina is between the uretra an the anus.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (24 children)

Literally semantics

[–]worried19 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Virtually all trans men have normal, unaltered vaginas. Bottom surgery of any type is incredibly rare.

If you were with a cis man who lost his dick do you think people wouldn’t judge you for leaving him?

Leaving an established partner, maybe. Not dating him in the first place, definitely not.

If I may ask, what is your sexual orientation?

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (49 children)

Front hole is the most disgusting, demeaning term for a vagina since ‘cunt’. Don’t speak about women’s bodies like that, please. Women are human beings. Our organs have names, not crass and dehumanising descriptors.

[–]HeimdeklediROAR 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (48 children)

A) Vagina aka “sheath” is worse

B) Front hole is most commonly used by trans men not women

C) You have no control over how other people refer to their bodies

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Reasonable is subjective

Say that again.