How can I help drop the T?

SeahorseLT · 2020-11-28T04:36:43+00:00

They haven't caved in a year and are expanding. I think they are legit and here to stay, but I just wanted to say thanks because you really give some guidance on what to actually do.

SeahorseLT · 2020-11-27T02:33:58+00:00

What made you change your mind?

SeahorseLT · 2020-11-26T02:10:55+00:00

Where do people insist it never happens? I see a lot of beef with the FtMs which they might even see as hateful, because you have some that seem to double down to make away with sex-based rights and the like, see ACLU lawyers. People are not blindly praising them just because they are female - not from what I've seen.

Of course, though, it will be an issue that most women won't pay attention to - because it just has nothing to do with their lives. Straight feminists, for instance, can be quite against lesbians at times. I am not surprised that gay men are even further away from their attention. That's why you need to stand up for yourself, and as LGB, I think. Because I know that many of these heterosexual women just won't get it, and I know that because I've had a lot of shit from them over the years, too. I have stopped expecting to go along with lots of groups just because there's alignment in a few of our "causes". That's why I am glad about any LGB space created. Being homosexual is a different life experience and while I will never know what it's like as a gay man, I know that same-sex attraction is something that you and I share, and which has definitely shaped us.

SeahorseLT · 2020-11-26T02:04:48+00:00

nowadays not believing men can be women and sex work is empowering is enough to class you as a radical feminist.

And that is the problem. There is nothing radical about that, and it doesn't make you a radical feminist if you believe in that. I do, and I'm not one. It's this over-simplification of groups why we need the LGB to finally drop the T after all.

SeahorseLT · 2020-11-26T01:53:24+00:00

Not to be mean or anything but isn't the term radical feminism? Why is everyone expecting it to be something that doesn't cause an uproar? If it's not, it wouldn't be radical, would it? The problem I have is that a lot of people are calling themselves radfems when they are not, and I do not get why that is. Why would you want to use a label you wouldn't feel comfortable with because it's maybe too radical after all? That's the whole point. You can still be critical of this gender ideology and critical of a lot of things, but I don't think saying biology is real and needs to be defended is a radical stance. It's fairly benign and harmless.

I'm a lesbian, not a rad fem. But if these radfems want to think and talk about female separatism, they absolutely should! It's a really radical idea, so more power to them. I realize I am not as radical in my ideas, or my feminism, so I do not call myself such. And I would think that especially seeing how the LGB is being whittled down by "queer" people - often just straight people with a twist - and everybody and anybody identifying into a group because it sounds cool, that we would not make the same mistake and just realize that radical feminism is, by definition, radical and as such will not feel comfortable or even be remotely the right fit for the vast majority of women. There is no need to "apologize" for the radical aspects - "I know many radfems, but they are not these radical ones saying females could live without males!" - why do you feel the need to classify it into "good radical feminism" and "bad radical feminism" and only the takes that aren't radical at all get a good badge?

This reminds me a lot of "I'm NOT like those other girls, see? I'm cool, I don't have these silly/radical/mean thoughts".

You do not have to be radical to be a feminist. I posit you have to be female, but that's another story. And the rad fems? Well, they are an interesting bunch and some of them are really insufferable. It's their right, too.

It shouldn't become a label where people flee into just because they're also gender critical or something like that - or because they're afraid that "liberal feminism" makes people look like stupid "handmaidens". You say you have "conservative" views - I'd just call them views that aren't very radical. If you find these views best describe your life experience, that's great. There's nothing wrong with liking a (male) father around children while growing up, and you know it. Yet you keep trying to strike a balance there where there isn't a need to. I think a lot of it has to do with shame, because "conservative" = bad, and if you're one way, you're a "prude", or not political enough. Seriously though: it's your life. So live it like you want to, 'cause it's not a competition about your personal politics.

SeahorseLT · 2020-11-26T01:43:39+00:00

Don't count on anyone to save you. If they join in, good. If not, there still must be a way to get the word out. FtMs are pressuring gay men, MtFs are pressuring lesbians. People think bisexuals should just accept everything because they think bi = doesn't get to have a personal choice. It's ugly out there, but we can't wait for a group of people to step in that aren't really affected much.

SeahorseLT · 2020-11-26T01:39:48+00:00

True. Sometimes you're just frustrated. Take that guy from Amnesty Ireland. Some might say, "man, why are men such assholes (to us)?" and then you'd have to add, "but of course, I don't mean all men. Actually, I'm sorry that this might be offensive to the men reading this so please know I don't mean you blabla" and then just end up wasting everyone's time.

SeahorseLT · 2020-11-26T01:38:03+00:00

Yeah, but they point is that you shouldn't be grateful all the time just because someone is acting according to their integrity, ideals and logic. A sense of relief like, "oh, at least this man is supporting us! Wow!" is actually just another symptom of it all.

I'm grateful especially to those people that are putting their face, name and often career out there to help shine a light on this. So yeah, I might not agree with all of them, but I am grateful that a JKR, a Abigail Shrier, a Gad Saad or a Graham Lineha, is speaking up. Because they have been dealing with the consequences of their actions in a way that would make most of us back off. But discussion in a forum, where a man say, "I think this is going too far, too" - well, good for you, buddy, and welcome aboard, but it's nothing to write home about, you know?

SeahorseLT · 2020-11-26T01:25:36+00:00

What about LGB Alliance would you like to be different, or what don't you like? It's not a woman's org, it's for us LGBs so I would like to know. Do you feel they are not representing gay/bi men?

SeahorseLT · 2020-10-01T18:49:25+00:00

Thank you. I am trying :)

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-30T02:47:15+00:00

Yeah, that's what I saw, too. I mean it's sad he screwed up his body permanently. But the stuff he focuses on? He doesn't seem to realize what kind of sh*** his family had to go through - he focuses on the fact that his wife had to do the electrolysis treatments for him. And how he's tired of it all.

Being a woman isn't as glamorous as he thought.

I think the first response struck gold: they will be happy if he's dad again. Husband again. Not LARPing his days away.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-30T02:35:56+00:00

Nope! Seriously, I am starting to get why TiFs wanna run away from this shit. Many TiFs are lesbians. As "straight transmen" they can still date their gfs and not be pressured into sex by TiMs.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-30T02:32:33+00:00

I'm really sorry but I find it hard to sympathize with her. And she hasn't got a nursing degree, she probably just did the EMT-B cert (hence street medic) and calls herself cool names because that's what they're like.

How weird where they draw the line, eh? Almost as if trans men are not men? Le gasp!

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-30T02:29:12+00:00

It's a pest. I am really mad at my fellow females when they keep signing away all our rights just to be "nice". Seriously, grow a spine, ffs.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-30T02:03:06+00:00

Don't want to make you mad or anything, it's a legit question: Why don't men go and build shelters and stuff for other men? Where's the solidarity?

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-29T18:56:16+00:00

You know, to this day I struggle with calling myself a lesbian and often kinda go the easy route by saying "gay woman" because the word lesbian has so much baggage. It's been used as a slur and a way to demean my existence so often, and to somehow try and say that I am somehow wrong or icky for being a homosexual female.

And now there come dozens of men who have NO issue whatsoever using this word. It makes me so mad.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-29T16:02:50+00:00

I kept waiting for the lesbian part. He's either describing "straight sex" (if you believe in the whole gender thingy) or, correctly, gay sex between two males. How the hell does one make the jump to lesbians?

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-29T15:50:21+00:00

I don't use the rainbow anymore because of this. People have started to resent the forced "treat me as your superior special snowflake" shit spread by TRAs and I do not want any association with that. I have seen people who were kinda okay with gay people backtrack and say, "we knew this was a mistake, they always take more and more!" and it's really painful to see how they are hurling us back years and years.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-29T03:37:24+00:00

This is a lesbian girl getting dogpiled on, called "TERF", "dumbass" and many other things.

Here's a quote of a "gay" girl (who also identifies as bisexual): "omg. you’ve been invalidating my sexuality for this entire convo and i say “suck a dick” bc that’s a COMMONLY USED PHRASE and you decide to call that shit homophobic? it has nothing to do with it LMAO stfu"

To tell a lesbian, "suck a dick" - it's just a commonly used phrase, and not homophobic at all. Nah. /s (Also, commonly used? Tells you all you need to know about these people)

What is this parallel universe we've found ourselves in? Every day, there's more vicious hate against us.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T06:24:22+00:00

Let's not give them ideas, lol

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T06:19:01+00:00

No, don't take it off. You are spot on. It begins as soon as kinder-garden and school, that's why they push those "I'm Jazz" books and the like. The Queer Kids Stuff "lessons" on YouTube. It's all part of painting a nice happy rainbow. (Nowadays, I've stopped using the Pride flag. If you go on Twitter, 95% with Pride flags are trans or TRA supporters. They literally took our pride...)

Let's call it what it is: It's grooming. It's abuse. Telling kid that their horrible, horrible parents are so transphobic, or close-minded and that all the others are TERFs and bigots - but come here, we will love you. You're valid uwu... We love you, now please educate yourself. We want to support everyone in our community; why don't you re-examine your preferences?

It's insidious and I really don't get why lawmakers and adults and people in general aren't seeing this.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T06:11:15+00:00

Have seen a post where someone wrote that they were jealous of the million orgasms one gets during childbirth. FFS!

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T06:07:42+00:00

Thanks. You know what? I try and see one positive thing about that: Thanks to her (him? them? She was a her when I met her and got with her, later claimed different IDs, FtM etc) I know now what abuse looks like, and it was what made me distance myself from the toxic LGBT community I was part of. It's protection after all, that my gut reacts to this stuff subconsciously already.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T06:04:26+00:00

The saddest part is how the OP ignores all the female posters (all of them having been in exactly that place before!) and only tells the MtF who is downplaying the shitty parts because they need to convince themselves, too, that their post was helpful.

That is just showing how deep the disrespect for everything female runs in this one, and how much internal defenses make them want to ignore reality and everything anyone says that isn't "Men have nice voices, too!".

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T05:51:02+00:00

Think Lasagna meant the TRA should keep telling themselves that ^

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T05:45:38+00:00

If I had to give the TRA movement a diagnosis, I'd go looking in the Cluster B PD handbooks.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T05:41:15+00:00

It makes me wonder how many lesbians will get through their formative years without going through at least one sexually traumatic situation :(

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T05:39:38+00:00

I wish someone could meet her, give her a binder full of receipts - of the death threats, rape threats, violent slurs, gaslighting into sex, convincing minors and/or threatening them again, telling people to off themselves for being "transphobic" etc ... I wonder if she'd be shocked, or if she'd try to bullshit the evidence away with empty phrases?

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T05:34:04+00:00

Abuse tactics 101 I'm afraid.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T05:30:41+00:00

It's not only that but also the perversion of everything lesbian sexuality consists of. Ridiculing our bodies by appropriating them, and our terms for them. I saw a tweet recently or something where two MtFs were discussing top/bottom roles. And they were giving advice to lesbians that IF they wanted to top, they could get straps, but trans lesbians had a better, natural built-in strap (calling it "home-grown strap"). I wanted to scream. Appropriating it is so vile and manipulative but it's just inside the sexuality a lesbian might already be familiar with - so the perversion of it comes off as a trojan horse. It IS dangerous. So many young lesbians don't see through this because they grew up with this distorted ideas being spoon-fed to them.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T05:24:03+00:00

And the way they phrase it. Pretending to be little harmless lambs, all helpful and "educating" people. Oh dear.... The way they write is SO manipulative, it makes my stomach turn. Like, I get aversion from this. My ex was abusive and gaslighting af - and these people talk just like that. I react instinctively to them.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T05:20:28+00:00

Just wait, they'll transwash Jesus, too.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T05:18:21+00:00

They always harp on about "You don't want us to EXIST!" ... it's really getting old now. But their manipulative language is appalling.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-28T05:17:03+00:00

I despise the word "problematic" almost as much as the word "valid".

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-23T01:08:48+00:00

As someone who was thrown out of my home by my parents when I was outed against my will, her comments about this being so "freeing" really make me mad. Really, really mad.

This is stroking her own ego and it's really disrespectful towards all the shit that gay and lesbian people have had to go through all their lives.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-21T16:49:12+00:00

This happened to me just recently. I was talking about some stuff about how I wish some of these clothes for men would fit me like they fit men (like, my body form is obv different, I just wish they used those designs for women's clothing; we were talking about two specific shirts they'd linked) in an online chat and the woke-y "lesbians" started asking me "Would you like to be a man? Do you feel like a man?" and I just went "hell no!" and the only reply was "Mh, maybe you're not trans, then. But keep in mind that this might be dysphoria."

Like what the eff?

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-21T16:37:58+00:00

Dick lollies. Enough said.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-20T23:39:50+00:00

I'm on the spectrum. I tend to get really into my interests and it can be a bit "too much", I think, at times. But I hope she will find it somewhat cute that I love telling people (my mother calls it quick-firing) about what I found out or what I think or know about a topic. Or at least I hope she doesn't mind my research-sprees because they are a part of me that won't go away, ever. (I tried. It doesn't work.)

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-20T23:35:36+00:00

For me, it is a thing that makes me kinda happy and proud about myself but not in a way where I have to advertise it.

It's just that in my circle of friends, at school, I was under heavy pressure to "finally lose the V card" and it was really really a struggle not to just go and sleep with a guy so people would get off my back. I didn't realize I was a lesbian until I was 17, and repressed a lot, so people were starting to see me as super weird for still not having had a boyfriend and stuff. For a while, I identified as asexual but I knew it wasn't the right thing to describe myself. It just kept people off my back.

Came out to myself at 18, and only then even allowed myself to think about what "did it" for me. Women.

So going through all that pressure without having given in just because of "friends" telling me to and having been true to my gut feeling, that's something I am proud about in myself.

My ex only knew I was a goldstar because I had to kinda explain to her that at 22, I was still a virgin and had no experience whatsoever. It was not a virtue signalling thing for me. I don't even know many (or any) gold stars because of said friend group. There was a girl who is now bisexual that was always telling me, "But you haven't tried. I tried, and it's fun both ways. Come on, try! [Insert random guys name] fancies you!"

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-20T20:47:23+00:00

The worst thing is that at first glance, their circular logic makes sense if you've been part of the community for a short while. It gets re-enforced and the goalposts keep moving, so it takes a lot of calmness to not be swept away by this manipulative language. And seeing (2nd link) people convincing 15 year old girls that they are hateful scum just because they say they don't want male genitals and get called "stupid fake-ass" lesbians by male-born transwomen who are "superior/real" lesbians - it's nothing short of grooming.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-20T20:18:50+00:00

The term "lady penis" really makes me so mad. I've had a MtF tell me that their "girlpeen" was a "female penis" (what distortion of reality is this, please?) and thus, I, as a lesbian, couldn't possibly have a problem with it. Like- I am too old to be gaslit into this. But I know how difficult it is to accept your homosexuality when you're young and your peers aren't supportive.

SeahorseLT · 2020-09-20T20:10:06+00:00

I have had people outright ask me whether I was non-binary or genderfluid because of the way I dress. Hell nah, I'm a lesbian (it has always been part of lesbian culture to have all kinds of ways to express yourself as a woman!!) and I've always liked to wear stuff that I feel comfortable in, and sometimes that's more of this and sometimes more of that. And I'm okay with that because I know that underneath my clothes I'm always gonna be me.

Being a lesbian is a huge part of my story, my journey to accepting myself with this body - a female body - and what it can do, so why on earth should I try and deny that lesbian just means homosexual woman and base my self-worth on clothes, make-up and some other outwardly signs of "gender" and "femininity" to fit within their definition and pretend that this changes the immutable foundations of my being?

And I hate that I am being told that this must mean I am somehow something else than that which I am. And that I am wrong if I am like that - that it means I am something they know better about me and make me want to adopt. I've been attracted to butch women, I've been attracted to femmes. I've been attracted to all kinds of women because I like women. That's it. It doesn't mean that I am fluid and one day, am a man and the other more this or that. It just means that I am myself and like other women. That's literally it.

SeahorseLT