0BCB9A795AE259

I peaked in an absolute rage just about recently, the bans solidified my rage

I was brought up in a conservative European country, no chances of secularity in any sphere of life. After tomboy childhood, I realised that I am a lesbian once I was about 12. Everything until I was 18yo and moved out was an absolute mess. Dysphoria? How not to feel dysphoric when literally everyone is allowed and entitled to objectify my body and the government holds tight onto convictions like "the skirt was to short, so the rape is excused". Fast forward, I was about 20 and started to participate in women's rights and LGBT organisations. 10 years later, my country of birth is avidly homophobic and misogynistic, no gay rights, abortion is banned and penalised.

I finally managed to get away to a Western country couple of years later. I wasn't politically active as all of my energy was consumed by providing for myself. I would casually browse AL. At first, around 2017, I would notice some sporadic trans lesbians posts and not think much of it, just take it as a technical possibility that this combination might happen. I was rather sympathetic towards their plight, thinking that it must suck to be them. Here I am, in a nice country with LGB rights recognized, rainbow flags everywhere, surely those people have it much worse then I do.

In 2018 I joined a dating app. That was my first experience of LGBT space in over 5 years. I noticed that barely anybody uses the term lesbian, even though I tried my best to match the criteria. I noticed disproportionate amount of trans women, but I thought that's just me being not up to date with current discourse. I operated on an assumption that it must be the next stage of the movement, and that everybody is just smashing the gender shackles. I didn't click on yet. I was incredibly lucky to find a great woman and fall in love happily.

Come the end of 2019, I started to realise that the transbian posts are not an outlier and a part of a bigger debate. I started reading up both sides. Imagine my disappointment, when I realised that instead of smashing gender stereotypes, the libfem movement worked tirelessly to reinstantiate every vile gender stereotype that ever existed. I had been oblivious as fuck. The rage grew ever since. I learned that lesbian "is an umbrella term", that I have a female brain, that I should accept and love dick. Half of this shit is exactly the stuff that I have heard before from extremely homophobic women hating catholic church. I realised there is a clear cut clash or rights. Up to the moment when I emigrated, I would hear that my orientation is a preference. Yet here I am, hearing that again 10 years later. I recognise that I am quite privileged in many spheres, but for fucks sakes how come that in 2020 mentioning women's rights on a lesbian online community is a bannable offence!? Then it was JKR tweets, reddit banwave and now I am catching up with years of obliviety. I lurked on GC, lgbdropthet, TL and was overjoyed that there's a current opposing to this shit. Now it's deplatform. Thanks to the mods for creating this back up. Everything is political, I am reeducating myself on radfem and won't let my guard down again.