all 33 comments

[–]FormosaOolong 8 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 6 fun9 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

Because if you can afford the car, your life is obviously more valuable than the hoi polloi.

[–]Tom_Bombadil 7 insightful - 7 fun7 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

Self-Driving Mercedes Will Be Programmed To Sacrifice Pedestrians To Save The Driver

"This one is for you BAPHOMET!"

[–]JasonCarswell 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

"Self-Driving Mercedes Will Be Programmed To Unleash Bayonets To Save The Driver."

[–]Tom_Bombadil 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly. Luxury sacrifice.

You don't even need to get out of your car...

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I'd buy that!

Screw women and children, just keep me alive bro!

[–]AbeFroman 4 insightful - 8 fun4 insightful - 7 fun5 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

I'd pay extra for that feature.

[–]Tom_Bombadil 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (9 children)

Safety is #1.

[–]JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (8 children)

No, safety is #5.

  1. Sex
  2. Drugs
  3. Rock
  4. Roll
  5. Safety

[–]Tom_Bombadil 2 insightful - 6 fun2 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 6 fun -  (7 children)

That list should scrap #4 and list sex twice.

Edit: Unless roll refers to extacy. If that's the case then dump the rock.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 4 fun1 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

That's it, I'm posting more rock and roll. They can't and shan't be split apart like this. Blasphemy.

[–]JasonCarswell 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Are you suggesting Safety Fourth?

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

glory fourth, safety fifth

[–]JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Sleep sixth?

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

sleep is death, just say no

[–]JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

That's what I said hours ago, but I think it's winning. Safety before sleep. Maybe if I put on my helmet to prevent the death?

[–]JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Dump the crack rock?

Sex twice? Why not thrice? Oral, Anal, Vaginal

[–]proc0 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Customer is always first.

[–]m68k 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

I always have cars and pickups trying to run me over when crossing the street (and yes I have the right-of-way FYI), now a self-driving car that intentionally tries to run me over. :P

[–]Tom_Bombadil 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

There's plenty of room for cyclists in identity politics...

:P

[–]m68k 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Cyclists? Cyclists? CYCLISTS?! Don't get me started on those... those... those CYCLISTS!

:3

[–]DrStrangelove 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

And the self driving BMW will sacrifice pedestrians to save blinker fluid.

I see a market opportunity; VIP Override the app that tells your wouldbe murder vehicle to hit something, anything, other than you. Available on ios & android, $10K/mo subscription.

[–]AntiLowEffortHuman 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Packages offered:

  1. USD 10k - VIP package - control what your vehicle hits using a special mobile app!

  2. USD 9.98k - Luxuryline - The vehicle will sacrifice pedestrians to save you!

  3. USD 9.979k - Peasantry - The vehicle will sacrifice you to save others!

  4. USD 9.978k - Peasantry but now you also get to watch our ads!

[–]Tom_Bombadil 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

And the self driving BMW will sacrifice pedestrians to save blinker fluid.

This is a great feature if you own one of these.
They don't make aftermarket blinker fluid, and dealership charges an arm and a leg.

[–]zyxzevn 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Can you program which pedestrians it will sacrifice?
https://i.imgur.com/DqWRCb6.jpg

[–]Tiwaking 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

[–]gretathroatborg2 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

hopefully black ones

[–]Tom_Bombadil 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

X and Blowcaine should never be parted...

[–]Mnemonic[S] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Made me think of this classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2xqlvAwRLg

Only now you can yell it, be right and shoot up a car if you want... Having an AR15 with these things driving around starts sounding more and more legit.

[–]JasonCarswell 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Knight Rider 2.0

[–]JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 4 fun1 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Class war programming.
What's so wrong about that?
Most of us are already programmed to believe wealth = worthiness.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]thefadd 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    This guy drives.

    [–]thefadd 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Why would I buy a car that would do otherwise?

    [–]yetanotherone_sigh 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Lots of jokes and memes and other stuff in this thread. Going to attempt to discern what is being discussed here:

    The Trolley Problem

    A thought experiment in ethics.

    There is a runaway trolley barreling down the railway tracks. Ahead, on the tracks, there are five people tied up and unable to move. The trolley is headed straight for them. You are standing some distance off in the train yard, next to a lever. If you pull this lever, the trolley will switch to a different set of tracks. However, you notice that there is one person on the side track. You have two options:

        Do nothing and allow the trolley to kill the five people on the main track.
    
        Pull the lever, diverting the trolley onto the side track where it will kill one person.
    
    Which is the more ethical option? Or, more simply: What is the right thing to do?
    

    They are attempting to write the rules that teach the car ethics, so that the car knows ahead of time what it will do in an unsolvable situation. If your car cannot stop in time and must choose between smashing the car into an overpass abutment and maybe killing all the occupants (could be up to 1 driver + 4 to 5 passengers) vs. killing one pedestrian, what would the car choose to do?

    Obviously this is a last resort, a worst-case scenario. The car isn't going to search out pedestrians to flatten. If the car knows it is going to get into an accident and cannot stop, it should have decisions set up ahead of time so that its actions will be predictable. Unpredictable computer programming is really dangerous. Let's say the car cannot stop in time and it has a choice between hitting three objects: a single pedestrian on the left, a telephone pole on the right, and a crowd of people in the middle. If you don't program the car ahead of time, it could end up in a point of indecision, where it cannot make a choice. Instead of turning left or right, it doesn't turn and it plows into a crowd of people, killing a dozen. We know that a dozen deaths is worse than one death. See?