Have you ever had a foreign girlfriend? What country was (is) she from? What did you like and dislike about her? Have you ever wanted to date a girl (woman) from another country (let's assume she would be living in your country already)? What country would that be and why?

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[–]begonia_skies 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (49 children)

I am American and I have dated someone who is British, someone who was Russian and I now live in Germany and I have gone on dates with German women. What I will say is that cultural differences can be hard, and language barriers can really make those differences feel insurmountable. There were challenges in each relationship. I found the Russian woman I dated was very blunt, and that was really hard for me since it felt like she was criticizing me a lot, but she did not see any issue with using direct language.

I also have had a hard time dating German women, I'm not saying anything negative about Germans or Germany because there are wonderful things about Germany, but Germans can be rather cold and, again, are very direct. Germans like to say that a German friend is a friend for life and view American niceties as frivolous and fake. Germans tend to see themselves as more authentic in this regard, maybe, but having to "prove" yourself worthy of friendship (or just basic friendliness) is draining, esp when you are an expat. So, for me, I think I would prefer to date another American or someone from a culture more similar to mine, but of course, if I met the right person then that may change, lol.

And these are just my own personal experiences, I don't think they are representative of any country as a whole.

[–]yousaythosethings 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (18 children)

The first girl I ever liked is Russian, and she’s now been one of my best friends for a while. Your take on Russian women is so true in my experience. I love the bluntness and directness but sometimes it can be a little too harsh when I’m feeling particularly sensitive/self-conscious. But on the whole I value straightforwardness and authenticity.

Also I love pretty much all Eastern European accents on women. 🥵

[–]florasis 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Yeah,eastern accent is rough and hot lol I like how americans and british tend to be polite and nice and make a point to make you comfortable. It isn't the same for everyone, but the general attitude of the population is all smile and nice shit for wht I've seen. That's cute.

[–]yousaythosethings 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I find Ukrainian accents more gentle/soft and that Russian accents have more intense peaks and troughs. I don’t know to describe it. But I do like both. Both are hot.

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

It is because our language is much more soft sounding than Russian. And it is more gentle as well, we does not even have our own swears, lol. And even things like "fuck" is "кохатися" which is literal translating as "to make love".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQLM62r5nLI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lBetYkmyd4

[–]yousaythosethings 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The comedy sketch writes itself: the Ukrainian who tries to talk dirty in the bedroom and instead just ends up saying really sweet, loving things.

Like the Germans who say nice things sketch: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y6YpFzzusnM

[–]VioletRemi 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sounds about right :D

However, German actually sounds very gentle, especially Austrian accent, if said with love ;)

[–]florasis 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Spanish is the hottest though. I would pay for having a girlfriend yelling at me in spanish lol

[–]yousaythosethings 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I speak Spanish but not as a native speaker so I can yell but it won’t sound nice. I lived in Spain though and can confirm that Spanish women and their accents are sexy. Spanish women speaking English - intensely hot. Penelope Cruz, for example. But for some reason Spanish men speaking English tend to have an accent that makes them sound a little unintelligent and idk why that is. Not trying to be mean. I’m used to sounding dumb in foreign languages myself with my American accent lol.

Also when I lived in Spain, there were so many Italians there who pick up on Spanish very quickly due to the similarity with Italian but it’s funny because it ends up sounding like Spanish with Italian cadence/sounds, but it sounds nice.

[–]florasis 9 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, italian and spanish are very similar. I can see spanish series without subs and understanding most of what they say. Also spanish and italians got similar characters, both very expressive, especially when we get angry lol

[–]peaked2020 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Spanish women are wonderful. When I was younger, I worked in Barcelona for a while and had quite a few great nights... that accent makes anything sound nice.

[–]hermiona52 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

It's good to hear that there's at least one person who likes Eastern European accent haha. I always feel self-conscious about it when speaking with foreigners, especially from Western countries. Like it's something bad, you know? Even in schools we were supposed to speak with British accent but when I tried to do it I always thought it sounded so fake and stopped trying.

As for being blunt and straightforward I honestly wouldn't risk such generalization for Polish women. There's probably an equal number of more polite women to those blunt ones, so I guess there's nothing in Polish culture that reinforces either of those traits.

Edit: oh and for me... gosh, that Australian accent. There's a reason I have a never ending crush on Courtney Barnett.

[–]yousaythosethings 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess it’s true that the Polish women I know don’t tend to have the cutting bluntness I associate especially with Russians/Eastern Slavs.

Anyway, I think most Americans would probably find your accent hot. Especially if it includes some nice Slavic rolled Rs.

[–]yousaythosethings 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

As a Polish girl who is into Australian accents, how do you feel about Yvonne Strahovksi?

[–]hermiona52 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Miranda Lawson is such a babe... and I watched 2 seasons of Handmaid's Tale and I've never felt more conflicted about a tv show character ;)

[–]begonia_skies 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Agreed, I lived in Poland for a while and I did not feel the forceful coldness I tend to get in Germany, lol. I loved Poland, I was pretty surprised how deeply Catholic the country is and traditional, if that makes any sense. It seemed very, "the man is the head of the house" vibe to me, but you can correct me if that inference is incorrect. And I love an eastern european accent (obviously, given my dating history, haha).

[–]hermiona52 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Oh I can certainly confirm that Poland is traditional and Catholic... so as an atheist, lesbian and feminist I completely detest this side of Poland and Poles.

So... an anegdote. When I was a kid I always argued with my mother why I had to help her clean the house while my brother was playing video games and she said "because cleaning is for the girls". This is actually a good memory, because a feminist was born inside me that day ;)

[–]xv_xx 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

My gf is Lithuanian, her accent is like sweet honey to my ears, I just love it. Then again, I think Lithuanian is from a different language family to other Eastern European languages, so maybe that is why?

[–]hermiona52 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I sadly never met any person from Lithuania, so I have no idea how that accent sounds (I'll check it out today on YouTube) but it wouldn't be surprising. Poles and Russians (I think Belarusians and Ukrainians too - even though I work with them I can't take them apart from Russians) are often mixed together by accent and it apparently sounds very harsh, especially with our hard 'R'. And that 'th' sound... gosh. I'll never not feel stupid saying words like 'although', 'thought', 'think' and so on.

[–]VioletRemi 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah, we are here in Eastern Europe are like that, very straightforward, so here no american "lets call him a 'she' to be polite" :D

And that straighforwardness is a part of our politeness as well, we are just not lying to "look good".

[–]MrFahrenheit46 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

A blunt, straightforward girlfriend is honestly my dream. I'm American but tend to be very brutally honest since I have Asperger's, which is interpreted as being cold/rude and tends to turn people off.

[–]VioletRemi 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nice that someone likes eastern europe/slavic girls straightforwardness ;)

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As someone who is thinking to live in Germany, that's what I was fearing, the cold characters. Americans seem far easier to date and know.

[–]fckme 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Hehe can relate, also an expat in DE. Permafrost but when a German woman says 'I love you' you know she reallyfucking means it.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

I've heard the idea of Americans being fake a lot when I was in Asia. You also have some Asians as well who will say one thing and mean another, but American "politeness" seems to not be popular while abroad. The biggest complaint I found was how we say, "I'll talk to you later," as a goodbye...but we rarely talk to people later on that day.

[–]begonia_skies 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Haha, yes my German friends hate the "how are you?" greeting in America that is expected to be met with a "good" or a "fine". In their eyes, "how are you?" is a question for putting on a pot of tea and listing health and life problems for 45 mins. I've tried to explain, it's really just a greeting and not meant to be taken literally, but I can see how that may come across as fake or insincere.

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (11 children)

How are you is a normal saying in Italy too. It's just a way to greet someone and you aren't supposed to really tell your problems. Seem like italian and american culture are ways more similar. Did you find USA more funny to live in?

[–]VioletRemi 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Here "how are you" is used as a greetings, but you should reply to it. So it is often "How are you?" - "I am not very well, and you?" - "I'm fine. Long time haven't seen you". Etc.

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same

[–]begonia_skies 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I don't think I find the US more funny, I guess. I haven't been back in awhile, so it is always a little disorienting the first few days back. Americans will just start talking to you, like in a line, or anywhere and that never happens in Germany unless they are telling you that you did something wrong, lol! I have been to Italy several times and in my personal opinion Italians seem more laid back and more focused on their families. I think Italians are louder in conversations than Americans, but I don't think passion is a bad thing. Italians seem to be really proud to be Italian and proud of their culture. Driving in Italy is a nightmare though!

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

Are you going around all over the world? Yeah, we have pretty strong family ties. Relationships with our parents are sacred and mother is a very important figure here. In USA, parents expect to kick out their kids at 18. While here, especially in south, they won't complain to even help their kids at 40. The relationship with our parents is the most important because in the end they're the one that will love us like no others ever will. And being loud and hand gesturing is our nature. Even our most introverted ones, like me, will seem pretty expressive comparing to the north coldness. And yeah, there is pride in being italian. It isn't a case that many italian americans will brag about their origins, even if they don't speak italian and have little in common in italians born here. Our country is beautiful, if they had the organized economy and politics of north Europe, it would be the best country on the planet. I don't see much problem driving, but depends where are, I guess. But I think americans are more funny the north europeans and more exciting to know-

[–]begonia_skies 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Haha, okay I thought you meant "funny" as in weird. Yes, I think Americans do have a better sense of humor than Germans, but I don't really "get" German humor, so that might be the issue. And I love Italy, I have been many times! Spain and Italy are my two favorite places to visit because I love the laid back vibes, when I am on vacation I want to chill out and relax. So I am a big fan of southern italy and sicily, with a nice glass of red wine - sounds like heaven to me.

[–]florasis 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

No, I meant funny in character, way of being, the general country atmosphere. I think North America is better than north europe in that sense. But North Europe is better for stress free life. I guess it depends what you want in life. For someone raising kids, North Europe is way better. I mean, raising kids is already hard, if you also add healthcare expenses, edeucation debt, childcare and others big worries I don't really know how americans manage it.

I'm from Sicily, I won't live here for long, but I hope to die here.

[–]VioletRemi 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I actually dislike that part in americans the most :D

[–]florasis 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

The shitty individualism and lack of good universal healthcare? Yeah, it is depressing.

[–]blackrainbow 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Well, i think it also depends on the region, veneto is not that laid back and more similar to Germany than the US

[–]yousaythosethings 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That’s an interesting complaint about “talk to you later.” I speak a number of languages, though none of which is Asian, and they also have “talk to you later” or “until we see each other next time” as a basic goodbye regardless of intention.

Like in Spain where I lived, you’d tell people you had momentary encounters with “hasta luego” (“until later”) for a simple “bye.” It ends up sounding more like “stalogo” though.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Japanese also has a "See you later/until later" like Spanish, but I guess there's no implication that you're gonna go home and call them up - emphasis on "talk"? I think it's mainly a language barrier issue, or people having high hopes that someone they like will call them up/text. 🤷‍♀️

[–]blackrainbow 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Omg now I want a German girlfriend

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

A qualcuna piacciono le stronze lol

[–]blackrainbow 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Non è stronzaggine, è serietà! :)

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

La troppa serietà rompe i coglioni dopo un po'. A me piace la dolcezza, l'ironia, il tatto.

[–]blackrainbow 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Sono la prima a non avere tatto e ad essere mezza autistica, con una tedesca mi troverei bene. Anzi, mi son già trovata bene :)

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Ah, allora capisco. Io continuo a sognare una spagnola lol

[–]blackrainbow 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Già stata con una spagnola, ma anche lì dipende dalla regione, catalane e andaluse sono diverse. In genere però consiglio XD

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Beata te. Sono diverse, ma tutte hanno l'accento super hot. Fai conoscere l'italico ardore in giro per il mondo :D

[–]funk_transcender 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I wrote a very long post but deleted it. I relate so much to what you've said about direct Europeans. I've essentially resigned to the fact that being raised in the UK has doomed me to life long neurosis where I will constantly look for subtext and intent in people's words.

I have tried VERY hard to not take the bluntness as abrasiveness, but I can't. It's impossible. It's too ingrained after 25 years of social conditioning. I will always be doing that mental gymnastics that doesn't even feel like gymnastics. I've tried. I've tried very hard.