Are you out at work?

submitted by a_blue_bird from self.Lesbians

I've been out in all my previous workplaces. Somehow in all of them I had several other gay colleagues, and it was easy to be out. Now I don't, and I've also moved to a much more conservative area. After 8 months of working at the current company, a lot of questions about my personal life are coming up. So far I've avoided answering them, but I'm sure that several people already realize that I'm not really straight. It's not a very big deal and I'm not planning to lie if asked directly, but it's a rather odd feeling to be the only homosexual in a relatively conservative place.

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[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 6 fun10 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 6 fun -  (2 children)

I have never been out since I work in a very conservative area, but I am changing that this year. I'm a private person too... but if ONE MORE PERSON tries to set me up with their "God fearing, family-oriented" son/brother/cousin/grandson... I'm gonna lose my shit.

[–]11mile_house 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Oh my god, yes. Or some new guy starts and everyone's like "want me to see if he's single?" No, I don't Brenda!

[–]IamWomanHearMeRoar 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’ve experienced that a lot where I am; at school, at work, and even where I live, there have been countless times of people trying to introduce me to males or males themselves constantly trying to socialize/interact with me for the purpose of starting a relationship. Religious people can be very controlling, manipulative, and super nosey.

[–]censorshipment 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Currently unemployed, but I've always been out. I am flamboyantly lesbian and will be genuinely shocked if someone thinks I'm straight.

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Somewhat yes, as loaders and drivers don't know (as that can be dangerous to health), but rest do know. Most people dislike this or are disgusted, but seems they are living with it fine so far. While 10 years ago I was fired from another job, when they saw me kissing a girl, It was really annoying.

[–]yayblueberries 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have been super not out at work, but I am a very private person and I don't like how workplaces are anyway. Too much personal stuff for my liking gets discussed at a lot of them. Also, by not telling my coworkers much about my life, it opens up a lot of space for them to tell me loads about themselves, and makes office politics a bit easier (the more I listen and the less I talk, the more others tend to talk, and eventually they slip up if they are disturbed characters and let me know who they truly are, so I can then avoid them as much as possible).

I just worked in a very conservative area and was surprised to find out that I had 3 lesbian coworkers, all with long-term partners, and my extremely Republican executive director boss was totally a live and let live type person. He just wanted people to be happy.

[–]rosybirds 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep, I have been out at work the last 15 years. I’d say the area I live in/place I work is right in the middle.

[–]basetenprefix 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Partially. Just came out to my boss a few weeks ago. Colleagues that I am close with know and I am a part of the extremely small LGBT group channel we have setup. I'm not hiding, I'm just not the kind of person to discuss my personal life and so unless you start asking questions, I won't say anything.

People always assume I am straight though, without fail. Even though I'm extremely tomboy-ish and GNC. Oh well.

[–]EmergencyGiraffe 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am, and I kind of regret it. My manager keeps making dumb jokes about it 🙄

[–]chupacabrawitch 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Out and proud. But really, I don't talk much about my personal life unless the conversation prompts it, but I never really tried to hide it either. At this point in my life I don't care anymore, I got tired of feeling the shame and fear. My co-workers are pretty cool, even though I live in a conservative area I never got much grief for it, they all know my wife and love us.

[–]beereadit 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I never disclose anything about my private life at work and since people usually enjoy talking about themselves it worked out just fine.

[–]11mile_house 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've never been out at work and I feel like it causes more stress than it prevents. Like you said, people start asking questions about your personal life, which means I have to lie or dance around. They always want to set me up with some guy or sometimes I get asked out by guys and I really hate having to reject people.

With this upcoming semester and any future jobs, I'm just going to tell them the truth if they ask. P.S. I had a factory job in a rural area and people there were actually pretty accepting of gay people. There were quite a few there. So, you never know!

[–]whateverman 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep. All my other coworkers are straight. I haven't introduced them to my wife though and probably never will. I keep a big divide between work and private life.

[–]begonia_skies 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, everyone I work with is straight. Maybe if there were more gay people then I would feel comfortable being out to at least them, but you know are how straight religious people are.... so no thanks, I keep my personal life personal.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My current job was the only one I’ve ever been slightly worried about coming out at. Selling farming and ranching equipment mean you deal with a lot of MAGA hat wearing, back woods living, very religious folks. With clients I tend to play the pronoun game when they ask me about my life, I can’t imagine what the local Hutterian Brethren compound would say if they knew their favorite sales person was a big old lesbian. I will say was fun to watch the light in someone’s eyes go out when you explain to people who ultimately pays for tariffs when they complained about prices on certain items going up while they sported their best 2016 victory t-shirts. My coworkers and management have known from day one that I’m a lesbian, it’s never been a big issue. There is one younger man that was raised to be very anti gay, I’ve always been very open with him and have answered all of his questions no matter how stupid they are, now he’s a big supporter of the cause.

[–]Lapis_Lazuli 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not really. I don't actively pretend to be straight (no inventing stories about boyfriends or pretending to have crushes on male celebrities or what have you), but I haven't let anyone know I'm a lesbian either. I'm friendly with my coworkers, but I'm not exactly friends. The fact that most of them are straight (or, I guess, possibly closeted bi) women makes me even more reluctant to come out; I don't want them to think that I'm creeping on them.

[–]Twilight_Zone 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am and I'm more towards butch.

[–]midnight305 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not working now really , but my clients know I'm a lesbian and non religious.

They often forget though.

Sometimes when their changing infront of me to ask me if they look good in so n so or help them unhook their bra. Their like " good thing your not a lesbian " and I laugh and be like " but I am "

I've worked as a maid since 08 I seen enough naked bodies to last me a life time , plus I'm an art student so looking at nude models and naked bronze and marble statues all day doesnt do anything for me. So I'm always chill around a naked body like it's no big deal.

Some family members and family friends feared my muslim clients was going to kill me for being a lesbian and I just laughed at them.

My muslim clients are the nicest, sweetest people I ever meet.

Even before when I worked in the hotel they knew I was a lesbian and people just forget. Had one talk about how gay marriage was wrong infront of me and have her a telling to , but other than that never ran into any problems.