ColonizationStraight woman choosing to wear a dress to her wedding is suddenly a “queer” issue.

submitted by julesburm1891 from getpocket.com

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[–]verystablegenius 30 insightful - 17 fun30 insightful - 16 fun31 insightful - 17 fun -  (3 children)

this person thinks she’s so nuanced and special and in reality she’s a woman having a meltdown over WHAT TO WEAR

[–]julesburm1891[S] 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

And she chose to imitate an iconic Grace Kelly dress. It’s not like Kelly is an internationally recognized symbol of ultra-feminine 1950’s glamour or anything.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know few self-identified non-binary people IRL but this is exactly what the ones I know are like. Feminine but want to feel edgy about it so they call themselves non-binary and now their textbook femininity gets rebranded as something special.

Like the intrepid author, they also can’t “decide their pronouns.” They’re all self-declared they/shes and she/theys and then universally everyone calls them “she.” These proud non-women are also suddenly women or “women-aligned” when they force themselves into my dating pool.

Always about having their cake and eating it too.

[–]JulienMayfair 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

this person thinks she’s so nuanced and special and in reality she’s a woman having a meltdown over WHAT TO WEAR

This is one of the most brutal and incisive takedowns of bullshit I've read in a while. You've made my day!!

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 18 insightful - 13 fun18 insightful - 12 fun19 insightful - 13 fun -  (2 children)

I struggle to describe myself. “Not a girl” is usually as far as I get.

I suggest: "Not like the other girls".

[–]MyLongestJourney 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I suggest: "Not like the other girls".

I suggest insufferable attention whore.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This article is certainly stiff competition for this other one; Between which is the most pretentious and navel-gazing.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is some of the most mind-numbing narcissistic psychobabble I’ve ever read. An identity void desperately trying to fill itself up.

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The closest our language has so far for a person like me is “nonbinary,” meaning I exist outside the “masculine” and “feminine” gender norms.

Yep, it's all based on stereotypes. Grow the fuck up.

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why does she go on about certain clothes being "men's" clothes when there is no one stopping any woman from wearing anything at all? The only clothes that are really gendered anymore are dresses and skirts, maybe crop tops if you count the fact no straight man would really wear those.

But women wear suits all the time and no one questions their womanhood or femininity. I imagine suits are just often easier to deal with than a flowing skirt that'll get caught on stuff. Even if women started wearing what used to be men's clothes in order to get some amount of respect from men (back when femininity was associated with the inability to have a valid opinion), that isn't the case in this century in the first world. Clothes are clothes and women can wear whatever they want without backlash from anyone who matters.

[–]dilsencySame-sex community 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

When I searched for “queer wedding,” I found images of happy, nontraditional ceremonies: husbands hugging, wives kissing. Many of them were masculine-feminine couples. [...] It is beautiful, sure, but it was more of the same: male/female, masculine/feminine, and suit/gown. I couldn’t envision myself in those roles. My sense of being the odd one out intensified.

Imagine being this obsessed with gender stereotypes that you think everyone around you is performing gender to the extent that you are.

Pondering who the wo/man in a same-sex relationship is says a lot about you, Claire.

[–]fuck_reddit 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I dont think I’ve ever seen a male/male wedding where “masculine/feminine” roles were evident from photos. I’ve seen some female/female wedding photos with suit and wedding dress, but that’s not a rule by any means. She’s just projecting her thoughts onto everyone and everything…

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 11 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Pronouns 🤡/🤡/🤡self

[–]lunarstrain 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

All this whinging because she wanted to wear a light blue simplistic dress instead of a tux or gown. This story would've been more meaningful if it were about her fear of breaking tradition or something, but she spends all this time talking about how she's neither feminine nor masculine and then decides to wear one the most feminine articles of clothing you can. A waste of words.

[–]Wanderingthehalls 7 insightful - 8 fun7 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 8 fun -  (1 child)

"When I walk down the aisle this time, in front of every person who knows me, it will be as someone who lives in their body. Not a bride on a cake, but as myself, a person who is too complicated for the simple rituals that are the pattern of our lives."

What a special and unique person she is. I wish I was so special and unique but all I am is a woman who's body is both hourglass and muscular. Who wears men's underwear on my lower body and a sturdy bra up - top. Who mainly wears pant and sports wear but does sometimes wear a dress when I feel like it. Who wears men's deodorant, never wears heels and almost never wears make-up. Who enjoys needlecraft and DIY. Who has a big box full of wool and threads and an extensive tool collection. Who loves sports and weightlifting but also cardio and stretching and bubble baths. Who loves metal and pop!!!!!

What am I, people??? Do I even live in my body? Am I just too complicated to have a little model of me stand on a cake? And if I stretch my oh so special and complicated description of myself and the body that I may or may not live in, out into a full book will Oprah also endorse my ramblings?

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What am I, people???

You are awesome... and she is anything but.

[–]JulienMayfair 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I wonder if she'd be shocked that no one care if she likes to wear men's clothes, or if she thinks how entitled and neurotic she sounds to post shit like this in a world where people have actual serious problems.

Portland

That explains some of it.

[–]fuck_reddit 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Bingo! I win!

How can they be so lacking in self awareness that they fail to see how much they conform to stereotypes? They think they’re so unique and become carbon copies instead.

[–]JulienMayfair 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I really respect what a friend's daughter did. She was so repulsed by the whole shitstorm of social chaos that seems to surround weddings that she and her husband just called her mom and said, "We're getting married tomorrow at the courthouse. You can come if you want."

. . . which was pretty much what people used to do, unless you were actual royalty.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What I got from this is a straight woman who feels uncomfortable with gender norms, has endured some level of trauma and abuse which informs her discomfort with womanhood, and has decided she can identify out of her internalized misogyny by adopting a 'non-woman' identity.

I mean, I sympathize with her motivations, but I resent being forced to participate in a person's internalized misogyny, and I particularly resent the externalization of that misogyny (the conflation of sex stereotypes with being a woman) onto other women.

[–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

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