What's with celebrities 'coming out' and not clarifying what they're coming out as?

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[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 45 insightful - 1 fun45 insightful - 0 fun46 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

This is consistent with my workplace eliminating identification as lesbian, bisexual, or gay. Now we get to identify as "a member of the LGBTQ+ community" or "not a member of the LGBTQ+ community." But of course there is a place to identify as "non-binary" specifically and another place to identify as "transgender" or "cisgender." They totally eliminated "sex" too. It's now "gender," "gender identity," and "LGBTQ+ status."

This helps the LARPers, trenders, and grifters and hurts actual lesbian, bisexual, and gay people.

[–]supersmokio6420 22 insightful - 3 fun22 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 3 fun -  (10 children)

Doesn't anyone else at your work find that strange? I would have thought not having specific options for LGB but having them for TQ+ would have at least got some heads scratching.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 27 insightful - 3 fun27 insightful - 2 fun28 insightful - 3 fun -  (9 children)

I noticed the change this past week when it was announced that the self-disclosure forms were changed in line with Joe Biden's executive order. I believe that's when LGB were removed as individual categories, but would have to ask others to confirm what the form looked like when they filled it out. When I last touched the form lesbian, bisexual, and gay were mentioned specifically.

I asked a lesbian friend and she said yes, she found this very strange and did not support it, and was not part of any conversation about it before the change was made.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 18 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

At this point I would just disregard their form and click 'other' - pretend to be that gender identity that identifies with not being labelled with a gender identity. Or just make up your own! You're valid.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Yes, I'm selecting "prefer not to disclose" under "gender identity" at the very least. When I'm up to it, I will ask why "sex" was removed as a category if the whole idea is that "sex and gender are different." The other thing that's weird with saying "LGBTQ+ status" is are they really asking intersex people to disclose their medical conditions for Christ's sake? What are they saying falls under that label "LGBTQ+" and what doesn't? Their definition of "transgender" is "your gender identity is different from your gender assigned at birth." So they seem to imply that gender = sex but then when you go to gender, the choices are male, female, and non-binary, so WTF. Obviously non-binary is not a sex and no one was "assigned" that at birth.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 13 insightful - 12 fun13 insightful - 11 fun14 insightful - 12 fun -  (0 children)

I have haemorrhoids. I'm normalising making our medical records public so as to be inclusive to intersex people.

[–]our_team_is_winning 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I noticed the change this past week when it was announced that the self-disclosure forms were changed

WHY is any workplace asking such a question???? When you apply there's a box for male or female, probably in case your name is Chris, Terry, Robin, etc. they want to know is it Mr. or Ms. Asking anything about your sexuality seems WAY out of line.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

They collect demographic data for diversity purposes. The EEOC collects such demographic data and some clients have rules about wanting “diverse” teams. I don’t love this last reason honestly because the demographic categories aren’t all interchangeable. Most relevantly though sometimes these characteristics are relevant. Like I would not want there to be a male on female sexual harassment investigation or sex discrimination matter without a member of the female sex on the team. But a trans-identifying male is an extremely poor substitute in such circumstances considering that they aren’t collecting info on sex anymore. Likewise if the matter involves sexual orientation, some gender loon has zero insight there and brings nothing to the table.

[–]our_team_is_winning 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

They collect demographic data for diversity purposes.

I hate identity politics and I hate the govt telling people who to hire, who to admit, etc. based on checking off boxes ala the Biden Strategy. They might claim it's the only way to make sure companies don't only hire one group, but I've seen IT and medical places that were ONLY Indian males, so I think they just mean "no white majorities" -- now that white people are govt designated "terrorists."

I can see checking if they hire women, esp. in fields where women don't always get a chance, but it shouldn't be by force. Who wants to think "they only hired me as a token, not on my merits"? And now that men in wigs are counted as women, why bother with any of this? Government-sanctioned Wokedom. Extending to people's sexual orientation really disturbs me.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They might claim it's the only way to make sure companies don't only hire one group, but I've seen IT and medical places that were ONLY Indian males, so I think they just mean "no white majorities" -- now that white people are govt designated "terrorists."

Yes this has been an area of recent legal attention, reverse discrimination in IT hiring.

Extending to people's sexual orientation really disturbs me.

Yea I don’t like this but it’s weird that it’s “LGBTQ status” as if we’re interchangeable. Some queer nuisance has nothing to offer in terms of insight on the legal issues we work on. A gay or bisexual person does.

[–]reluctant_commenter 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This is consistent with my workplace eliminating identification as lesbian, bisexual, or gay. Now we get to identify as "a member of the LGBTQ+ community" or "not a member of the LGBTQ+ community."

WTF. Seriously? I would just not "identify as a member of the LGBTQ+ community," then. Because I am not.

[–]chazzstrong 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd mark all options out and write-in my answer.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 36 insightful - 5 fun36 insightful - 4 fun37 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Ellen Page "came out" as well without naming as who. She just went with "not woman, not lesbian", with "he/they trans", just "trans", not "transman", not "non-binary", just "he/they trans".

And such "came outs" are very hurtful for young lesbian and bisexual women.

[–]censorshipment 31 insightful - 5 fun31 insightful - 4 fun32 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

Siwa was in a relationship with TikTok star Mark Bontempo from August to November 2020. She came out as LGBTQ+ on social media in January 2021. After being asked what her label was by a fan, Siwa stated that she is not labelling her sexuality as she "doesn't really know this answer". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JoJo_Siwa#Personal_life

Smh. She's only 17, so she's likely just trying to be "progressive".

[–]PassionateIntensity 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Well, that's dumb and annoying. The way other people were talking about it, I thought she'd come out as a lesbian. She's probably just straight. I can't even blame her--she's a kid & brainwashed by this nonsense.

[–]reluctant_commenter 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can't even blame her--she's a kid & brainwashed by this nonsense.

Agreed.

[–]Taln_Reich 25 insightful - 3 fun25 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

In my opinion someone "coming out" should also entail stating what you are coming out as, as otherwise its pretty much meaningless.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 23 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

They want attention.

[–]ChodeSandwichtender and moist 13 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Lmao it's public relations desk jockeys trying to be clever. Being straight isn't fun and marketable enough, but it's also not smart to stick to one clear label like "gay" or "pansexual" because keyboard warriors are constantly changing the rules and demonizing words at random, so the best option is to come out as 🏳️‍🌈 I'm Not Like Your Parents (Like And Subscribe!) 🏳️‍🌈

[–]homosomes 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Remember that time period when it was trendy for straight people (mostly straight women from what I remember) to come out as bisexual? It was very clearly for attention grabbing and to look cool. It feels like the waves of people coming out as nonspecific labels like "queer" is an evolution of that.

[–]our_team_is_winning 10 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Sooner or later every useless celebrity comes out as a Narcissist.

[–]Finnegan7921 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Social media clout and if they are actors, it helps them land roles b/c they are "diverse". The whole trans/enby/fluid/"queer" movement is clowning itself on a daily basis and looking ever more absurd as the crazy train rolls down the tracks.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If they come out as queer, then it's a stunt and nothing more (especially if they are in or have always been in some straight passing relationship like that chick from The Good Place).

The worse ones, though, are the ones who come out as something like lesbian but then hide the fact that they're straight or some other contradictory sexuality. For example, the author of Gideon the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir, identifies as a lesbian and has been lauded for writing great lesbian sci-fi fiction...and yet is happily married to a man (https://twitter.com/tazmuir/status/650396880682250241?s=19) who is often referred to by publishers as her 'spouse' or 'partner' because event hey realise how bullshit it is. If you're bisexual, there's no shame in saying it.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This has been happening for a long time (at least 5 years) irl not only online. My old QSU that I used to spend so much time at was exactly like this. People talked so much about their pronouns, and trans issues (especially what hormones/meds they were taking, gender neutral bathrooms on campus, one nonbinary girl talked about and collected donations for her "top surgery"). They also talked about tangential issues like anti-racism, and being anti-cop, and large-scale social theories like "kyerarchy", but they never talked about sexuality, coming out, or how anyone felt about anything of substance! I never felt comfortable bringing up or talking about sexuality, b/c no one else did, and I got the unspoken sense it was rude to ask about anyone else's b/c we were all just "queer". Which was incredibly shitty, b/c I really needed to talk to people who empathized with what I was going through, and it took me 3 years to figure out they didn't, and wouldn't ever change.

I think it all boils down to the postmodern idea that we should all be too enlightened to need or use labels, and anyone who cares about that is a caveman (sorry, cavethem) who is in the dark ages and just needs to read Judith Butler. I think the vagueness is intentional, and inspired by postmodern blurring of labels, as well as the idea that people shouldn't have to "come out as gay/bi" anymore b/c it is "not oppressed anymore" so who cares about representation or honesty? The only times it's "cool" and "against cisheteronormblahblah patriarchy" nowadays is to come out as trans or "queer".

I don't believe any of the above (anymore LOL) just trying to give insight into that mindset.

[–]insomniahurts 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nowadays it's "cool" to identify as lgbtq+. It sells to the woke crowd who are starved for any kind of validation. These celebs are probably encouraged to "come out" as something by their agents/managers/pr people, but they can't outright lie(let's face it, most of them are still straight), and they can't outright come out as gay or lesbian as there is STILL stigma against liking the same sex(ironic) and they don't want to be limited to be cast as the token gay. So they vaguely just say "i'm a proud member of lgbtq+" without specifying what they actually are. And in some cases they just come out as nonbinary or some other bullshit so they can still be exactly as they were, still use the same pronouns ("but I also like they/them uwu") and still only date the opposite sex without anyone questioning their identity.