ColonizationActuallesbians: Does anyone else feel attraction toward gay men?

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[–]DifferentAirGC 66 insightful - 7 fun66 insightful - 6 fun67 insightful - 7 fun -  (38 children)

This is actually a pretty common lesbian experience.

Then there’s also the fact that many lesbians enjoy shipping gay couples and/or watching gay porn.

Uh, no. And if the woman finds gay male porn hot, she is not a lesbian.

[–]julesburm1891 40 insightful - 13 fun40 insightful - 12 fun41 insightful - 13 fun -  (0 children)

So, uh, clearly I’m in the minority here, but I’m a lesbian and I don’t want to fuck any man, gay or otherwise.

[–][deleted] 32 insightful - 2 fun32 insightful - 1 fun33 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

I don't think it's weird if a lesbian sees gay couples on TV and thinks it's cute or romantic. Shipping isn't an inherently sexual activity, it just means you think two characters are good together. I only really care about lesbians in media so I actively seek out shows and books with female romance in my free time. But if I run into fanart of two guys in love and it doesn't look fetishy, I think it's sweet.

Watching gay porn though? Nope. Sorry. No way. I tried watching gay porn once and couldn't stomach it. I remember being a tween and all my bi and straight friends were super into yaoi. I had to mentally check out every time the conversation went in that direction. I instantly side-eye any woman claiming she's a lesbian that is obsessed with gay porn/yaoi/BL/nsfw mlm ships/whatever they call it.

EDIT: The amount of women in the comments claiming lesbians like gay porn... Are y'all lost?

[–]just_lesbian_things 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Shipping isn't an inherently sexual activity, it just means you think two characters are good together.

I see it as a sport. You know, some people have a favorite sports team, they get the jersey and merchandise, talk about the games "their" team plays, get very invested with "their" team's performance, occasionally get too upset when "their" team loses. That's shipping for me. It's about as silly a pastime as watching football or soccer.

[–][deleted] 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You're right. Just like with sports you have your casual fans, your fanatics, and then those people somewhere in between. It's funny when fans get super invested in ships because it usually boils down to internet slapfights. It's normal to want this character to get with that character and be disappointed when writers make a choice you think is dumb, but when I see people having mental breakdowns over their ship not becoming canon it's like, maybe you should take a break lol. Remember when #TeamEdward versus #TeamJacob was so huge it got talked about on the news?

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

The amount of women in the comments

Can be close to zero. As far as I am aware the /r/AL is mostly for transwomen and bisexual women, and if there is appearing lesbian, it is mostly young girls or lesbians from homophobic countries so they are thinking "I guess it is normal on west to be like this for lesbians, here no info about it anyways".

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I mean here. Look at the comments on this post.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Oh, yeah, that is very weird. Bisexuality is such a stigma, and even here often attacked, so I guess it is easier for febfem to say she is a lesbian.

I can understand whan it is straight man watching gay porn - and they can imagine that one guy is penetrating "manly" woman. However, for lesbian there is nothing to imagine, because there two penises involved, and in lesbian sex - none.

And I mean if that porn is making person watching aroused, of course. As I watched few lesbian porn videos myself (mostly when my lesbian friend shared), and mostly for educational purposes, however, I did not found them arousing or sexy, or anything, and was watching just like any other video (music videos are almost porn anyways, so almost nothing changed).

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 31 insightful - 2 fun31 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

Some people on here were explaining that there are a non-negligible amount of lesbians who are into yaoi. I'm not an authority on that as I watch zero anime and it's not something my friend group is into either, but apparently this is a thing. But that also doesn't mean they're attracted to gay men.

I think society is also so fucked up by porn at this stage that I wouldn't assume too much about a person's sexual orientation by the porn they watch. After all, lesbian porn is apparently the most popular for straight women to watch.

[–]DifferentAirGC 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

If they are into non-pornographic yaoi, I can understand, but if it's porn then I'd suspect they are actually bi. They are literally schlicking to dicks, no lesbian would do something like this.

[–]TRA-is-the-real-hate 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You are missing a major component. That is that lesbian porn is gross material catered for straight men. Lesbians don't have a good porn source (not that anyone needs that) but it may push some to other categories.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I honestly have no further insight.

[–]just_lesbian_things 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I used to watch anime and the majority of my lesbian friends and acquaintances watch anime. None of them are into yaoi. The only people into yaoi/"boy's love" I know are bisexual and heterosexual women. Never say never, I guess, but it's weird. I don't know what they would get out of it.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yaoi and some gay porn are often made by women for women with making gay boys or men act (and often even look) "more feminine", like gay men almost never look or act.

That is the only possible explanation I can find. Especially if there no sex involved and just romance (as they are looking androgynous or feminine there).

However, lesbian hentai and porn is made by men for men with "masculine" interractions between women there. And yet I do not find it appealing or hot, and can't imagine any gay man finding it arousing. So most likely it is the same for lesbians with yaoi. And if gay man or lesbian woman are into other sex, they are just bisexual (or experienced huge traumas, like straight women in porn industry can be forced to act with another woman and have sex or date another woman, but not in a normal way, more like "a job I used to do").

[–]Rosefield 14 insightful - 12 fun14 insightful - 11 fun15 insightful - 12 fun -  (0 children)

This is actually a pretty common lesbian experience.

Just like liking penis -eyeroll-

[–]Freetochoose 17 insightful - 5 fun17 insightful - 4 fun18 insightful - 5 fun -  (4 children)

The only and I mean only requirement for being a lesbian is a female who is exclusive attracted to and have relations with other females. Now that is out of the way. I am a female homosexual and I like gay male porn.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

...but getting aroused by feminine males, or by feminine males having sex with penises, is making attraction to females not exclusive :P

[–]Seahorse 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Its not that unusual when you consider straight females (a huge amount of them) find lesbian porn hot.

And I've got excited by this and assumed they're bi. They assure me they're not and that "pussy is gross". I'm not joking 🤣😩

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 9 insightful - 7 fun9 insightful - 6 fun10 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

If pussy is gross, why they were watching two pussies? :D

[–]Shadow_Lurker 13 insightful - 12 fun13 insightful - 11 fun14 insightful - 12 fun -  (0 children)

Lesbians are fujoshis now lol

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

True story: back in our 20s (which, sad to say, was a very long time ago) my lesbian friend from high school (still friends with her now) was in an LTR with a woman who was turned on by gay male porn. It became a necessary precursor to sex. Said girlfriend would periodically cheat with her ex-boyfriend.

I don't need to tell you the end of the story. Bad break-up, tears were shed, etc. Later on they revived an amicable friendship. Ex-GF is now married to a man, 3 kids, conventional straight lifestyle, etc.

[–]strictly 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah. I don't watch porn but if I did the gay male porn category would be the least interesting category for me as it would have even more men and less women than straight porn, I've no interest in watching men having sex. And if I am going to watch/read something romantic I prefer it to be about two women. I'm not that interested in straight love stories but I might be the odd one out in that gay male love stories are generally even less interesting to me because in a straight love story I might at least be able to relate to the person into the woman if she is interesting character even though I might not be able understand her side of the equation.

[–]blackrainbow 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I don't know, there are some lesbians who enjoy gay male porn because lesbian porn is obviously fake and straight porn is misogynist.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Gay porn is very often fake too, and drawed gay porn is even worse. There almost nothing to watch there.

[–]crodish 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Uhhhhhh sooooo genuinely not trolling here, but I've liked some yaoi and gay porn before, however my attraction to irl men is like, non-existent. I only like looking at gay porn because somehow female porn seems degrading to watch what with the heavy male gaze and objectification. Good lesbian porn is rare but preferrable. In a way I'm a full on fujoshi but I in no way want dicks near me personally? I also get turned off by men running shirtless and I've never actually physically been with a guy before. Idk. I'm irl in a lesbian relationship and find female bodies way more attractive, have always been attracted to females, etc. Maybe I'm a closeted bi or something? Something something spectrum? ._.

I don't even know what my logic for this is either lol, just that if it's two dudes on screen going at it with each other (my interest drops almost immediately if it becomes a MFM threesome), they're not in my real life and it doesn't affect me, so I can enjoy watching it because sex is sex? But I have no attraction to male bodies sexually, like I can appreciate good anatomy and muscle structure artistically, but I'd very much rather bury my face in boobs and vajay than look at a dick irl? idk man I consider myself a lesbian because I only want to be with women irl regardless of the material I consume

Edit: expounding on why I can't watch female porn - I just end up feeling bad for the woman involved. Like is she okay, she doesn't look like she's enjoying this, is she faking, is she hurt, how much of this is scripted, was she forced to do this, etc. And a lot of times the women just sound incredibly dramatic for the sake of getting dicks hard (like dirty talk, daddy talk, begging, etc). With gay porn like... you can physically see the arousal, it's rare to hear male moans, if there's objectifying shots I don't find myself identifying with it because I don't have those parts (I guess this answers my question of why women get objectified in male porn so much? And also makes me a hypocrite?)

I'm aware it also brings around the point that the men in those scenes could very well also be under coercion, aren't enjoying it, getting hard doesn't equal pleasure, etc. idk man, I don't understand it either. Just trying to sound off why my brain is like this.