Uhhhhhh sooooo genuinely not trolling here, but I've liked some yaoi and gay porn before, however my attraction to irl men is like, non-existent. I only like looking at gay porn because somehow female porn seems degrading to watch what with the heavy male gaze and objectification. Good lesbian porn is rare but preferrable. In a way I'm a full on fujoshi but I in no way want dicks near me personally? I also get turned off by men running shirtless and I've never actually physically been with a guy before. Idk. I'm irl in a lesbian relationship and find female bodies way more attractive, have always been attracted to females, etc. Maybe I'm a closeted bi or something? Something something spectrum? ._.

I don't even know what my logic for this is either lol, just that if it's two dudes on screen going at it with each other (my interest drops almost immediately if it becomes a MFM threesome), they're not in my real life and it doesn't affect me, so I can enjoy watching it because sex is sex? But I have no attraction to male bodies sexually, like I can appreciate good anatomy and muscle structure artistically, but I'd very much rather bury my face in boobs and vajay than look at a dick irl? idk man I consider myself a lesbian because I only want to be with women irl regardless of the material I consume

Edit: expounding on why I can't watch female porn - I just end up feeling bad for the woman involved. Like is she okay, she doesn't look like she's enjoying this, is she faking, is she hurt, how much of this is scripted, was she forced to do this, etc. And a lot of times the women just sound incredibly dramatic for the sake of getting dicks hard (like dirty talk, daddy talk, begging, etc). With gay porn like... you can physically see the arousal, it's rare to hear male moans, if there's objectifying shots I don't find myself identifying with it because I don't have those parts (I guess this answers my question of why women get objectified in male porn so much? And also makes me a hypocrite?)

I'm aware it also brings around the point that the men in those scenes could very well also be under coercion, aren't enjoying it, getting hard doesn't equal pleasure, etc. idk man, I don't understand it either. Just trying to sound off why my brain is like this.