LesbianCanceling Lesbos: The State of Lesbian Online Communities: Benjamin speaks to the mod of the now canceled r/truelesbians

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[–]a_blue_bird 53 insightful - 2 fun53 insightful - 1 fun54 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

The only reason why places like ''actuallesbians'' can exist and create an illusion that transsexuals and ''nonbinaries'' are just as homosexual as actual homosexual women (or men) is the fact that these are online communities, nobody ever sees anyone else and does not need to come in contact with the reality of their beliefs. This could never happen otherwise. If two lesbian groups existed IRL, one consisting of a large proportion of males, and the other of 100% females, it would only be a matter of time before almost all women from the first group would have migrated to the second. And something very similar was already happening on Reddit with AL and TL. At this point AL is just a circlejerk about how much you like ~tiddies*~ and hate terfs. It's a very juvenile and thirsty-teenage-male typical approach to sexuality that you don't see on any other lesbian subreddits.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 32 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 0 fun33 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I feel so bad for young lesbians coming out in this toxic current environment where social media is their first point of contact and they're bullied into believing men can be lesbians.

[–]moonlightascending 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'm 16, and from ages 12-14 legitimately thought I was "queer transfem nonbinary" and went by "they/them" when no, I'm a femme lesbian. Tumblr convinced me that because I don't "feel like a woman" (whatever the hell that means), I'm obviously nonbinary. the current TQ community is incredibly toxic and harmful for young people coming out and is trying to convince them that unless you're trans you don't matter.

[–]JulienMayfair 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

It's an interesting interview, but there's a lot of obvious dishonesty going on. She claims not to understand why Reddit banned r/truelesbians even though it's pretty much impossible that she doesn't know why it happened. She does say that they are petitioning Reddit to get r/truelesbians back, so maybe that's why she doesn't want to talk about the elephant in the room.

Edit: I would date Benjamin if he was gay :-)

[–][deleted] 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Agreed. The tap-dancing around the truth is frustrating

Even when Benjamin asked about how there seems to be a battle between inclusive vs exclusive, and how exclusive is branded as hateful - obviously trying to allow her to talk about how diversity is being weaponized (he even used that word) - she kinda side-stepped it by saying she doesn't know because she herself is a kind and welcoming person, and talked about being called hateful, TERF, doxxing concerns, etc. But she never really answered WHY that's happening.

I don't think I heard the word "erasure" or "targeting" even once. She did at one point mention that the LGBT community is being ripped apart, and blamed it on a divide between LG and BT+ . Obviously she's allowed her opinion, but I didn't really appreciate her throwing bisexuals under the bus like that. "True Bisexuals" exist too, and are growing in numbers for the same reason as "True Lesbians".

I think you're right that her approach may have to do with trying to get back on Reddit and demonstrate neutrality. It makes me glad that places like our sub can exist here, and we can just outright say what's going on.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I didn't watch the video. But if she made a divide between LG and BT+, I sincerely apologize as a lesbian. True bisexuals are also getting a ton of sh*t from the TQ+ crowd.

[–]SailorMoon2020 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I too didn't watch the video(on phone, will watch soon) but if this is the case as you and another pointed out, this is disappointing.

It's disappointing because about two or so days I made a comment on another thread saying along the lines, 'why are we (lesbians) so passive compared to our brothers (gay men)?'

If this was an interview of the mods of r/askgaybros then it would be much more in your face.

[–]Astrid2448 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

You know what, no. Truebisexuals is absolutely tiny and there is a reason for it.

The vast majority of the time some asshat treats gay men and lesbians like crap over this stuff, it is either someone who is trans or someone who is bisexual. Nearly every one of the nonsense sexualities and genders is another word for bisexual. The people seeking out, trapping, and lying to lesbians to try to get a threesome? Bisexual women. The people calling themselves lesbians despite loving penis, having a husband or boyfriend, or sleeping with men? Bisexual women. The people pushing the terms “bi lesbian”? Bisexual women. The people who currently take up the majority of any given lesbian space, and become incredulous the second that’s questioned? The people who constantly seek attention for sleeping with women? The people who fetishize lesbians and encourage men to do so as well? The people who say sexuality is fluid, genitals are a preference, and that gay men and lesbians are just closed minded? All of these are so often bisexual people, specifically bisexual women. It is not one or two bad apples, it is a community issue.

I am perfectly fine with reasonable, chill, and respectful bisexuals. I feel the same about reasonable, chill, and respectful trans people. But if accepting you guys means we have to close our ears and go “la la la” over the MASSIVE numbers of bi women in particular who are gleefully destroying the lesbian community, or that’s bullshit. If us even mentioning that means you’re going to throw a fit and ditch us as well, that’s bullshit too.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth)[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Tome she seemed like a mellow person who seemed sort of clueless about it... seems like stuff he should have know even outside of reddit she was new too. She didn't seem like our mods who were aggresive about what was going on. This trying to get into reddit's good graces seems like a possibility.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

OMG it's so weird seeing the actual faces of Redditors. I'm so used to you guys just being words on a screen!

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth)[S] 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I am a right wing Russian bot

[–]writerlylesbian 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think she is of the school of thought of "why can't we all just be nice and get along?"

That doesn't work when there's an abusive community trying to impose itself on another community.

This mod at one point a few years ago actually tried to steer truelesbians away from being allowed to talk about trans issues and GC issues in general. It went down like a lead balloon, so she quickly deleted the suggestion, but I think it was an accurate reflection of what she thought at that time at least. According to her thinking the transcritical and GC lesbians were big 'meanies' who were bringing the community down/into disrepute who should be quiet and not 'disrupt' the 'nice' lesbian content.

Lots of people made comments talking abut the fact that the conflict with trans ideology is a big issue that lesbians are facing in multiple ways, and that not being allowed to talk about it would just create a huge elephant in the room. So then she deleted the entire thread about it, lol. I think she had no idea she'd get that negative reaction to it, which was weird because tons of lesbians only ended up at TrueLesbians after getting banned for saying some innocuous thing like they didn't do dick on ActualLesbians or somewhere.

So I think if TrueLesbians does end up back on reddit, it will be a space where lesbians are basically neutered from being able to talk about nearly everything. But good luck to her if she wants to manage that kind of nicey-nice community where lesbians tip-toe around the men so as not to upset them.