I wish people who freak out about "deadnaming" would pay half as much attention to not screwing up women's names

submitted by NDG from self.GenderCritical

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[–][deleted]  (24 children)

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    [–]MarkTwainiac 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

    My husband was honored and happy enough by my agreeing to marry him! And since I was the only one who could get pregnant, give birth and breastfeed, he had more reason to honor me than the other way around.

    [–]ANIKAHirsch 2 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 5 fun -  (12 children)

    Good for him.

    I think honor goes both ways in a relationship.

    [–]MarkTwainiac 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

    Of course it does. So why should only the woman in a het relationship be the one to take her partner's name?

    [–]Apricot_Ibex 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

    Exactly. And let’s shed a tear for the billions of dishonored Asian men whose wives have always kept their “maiden names.” Lol

    [–]vitunrotta 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

    I'm beginning to suspect you are a troll. Your opinions are uneducated and antiquated at best. I've seen plenty of your comments on this platform and let's just say... The majority of them are very anti-GC-feminist.

    Like Ricky Gervais said - I'll paraphrase: if you don't have anything nice or constructive to say, please get out & be an ignoramus somewhere else.

    Edited wording to exclude slurs.

    [–]ANIKAHirsch 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I was trying to be nice. I don't think I said anything mean.

    [–]msteacherlady 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

    So for you a woman honors a man by taking his name. What is the reciprocal?

    [–]ANIKAHirsch 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

    The ring?

    [–]msteacherlady 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    What is it about the ring that makes this reciprocal?

    [–]ANIKAHirsch 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    The value of the jewelry.

    [–]msteacherlady 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    I'm sorry if the question sounded obvious but I didn't want to assume that you think a woman's name can be bought. Apparently my mother's name was worth $300 dollars, but that may have been discounted because I received both of my parents name. Papa got a great deal! My mother's best friend's name got bought out at the top of the market, $100k.

    Surely this practice continues to make sense in the modern era. /s

    [–]ANIKAHirsch 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    You were asking for the reciprocal.

    I don't see marriage as transactional anyway. It's a commitment. It should only be done for love.

    ...

    You started with "I'm sorry" but ended with /s. So I don't think you're being sincere either.

    [–]msteacherlady 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I apologize for seeming insincere. If the value of the ring is what is reciprocal, then how is marriage not transactional? Or is it like posting bail?

    [–]MezozoicGay 16 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

    Why husband will not take her name to honor her and to make her happy?

    [–]Shesstealthy 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    Well husbands don't own us and are ot responsible for us, so...

    [–]ANIKAHirsch 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

    Did I say that?

    [–]AdultFemaleHuman 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

    Are you a feminist?

    [–]ANIKAHirsch 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yes.

    [–]msteacherlady 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    Why is this action honoring? Why does this make a man happy? Are you aware that taking a spouses name has not been the tradition in most Spanish speaking countries? Have these men been dishonored for generations and don't know it?

    [–]ANIKAHirsch 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    This particular man expressed that he wants me to take his name. (Actually his grandmother's -- he would be changing his too.)

    [–]msteacherlady 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    What is the motivation behind changing his name? I've had acquaintances that also change both of their names to symbolize their union. Is that what you and your partner are doing? If so, that's not so much about honoring him as it is about joining your lives.

    [–]ANIKAHirsch 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Well it's his maternal grandmother's name. So at least it honors his family.

    He's changing his for personal reasons.

    [–]NDG[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    My husband didn't care what I did with my name. One, it's mine, and two, he and his mom haven't shared a last name since he was eight, so he didn't grow up with the mindset that "family has the same last name."