What trans people don't get is that homosexuals were NEVER attracted to them. by 7874 in LGBDropTheT

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

This is what I don't get either.

If a woman has a passing attraction to Buck Angel, sure I wouldn't call her a lesbian. That would be ridiculous.

If a woman went home with Buck Angel and spent the night eating Buck out, well....

What are you doing during the Halloween season? by ishutmyeyestosee in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My favorite horror movie of all time would probably be Eyes without a Face - it's not scary, just sad and weird.

For discovery, House of the Devil is a great horror movie I probably would never have watched if not for letterboxd hype.

Let me know if you find anything good!

What are you doing during the Halloween season? by ishutmyeyestosee in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Carving a pumpkin sounds like a lot of fun and something I can do even as a shut in. Maybe I'll try to do one of those creative ones and fail, lol.

Hope you have fun with a post?ish-Covid Halloween.

What are you doing during the Halloween season? by ishutmyeyestosee in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I watch a lot of movies, but I just can't do 31 in 31 days. Even if I give myself a head start. It's a good way to find some obscure titles though.

What are you doing during the Halloween season? by ishutmyeyestosee in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lots of adults still dress up and go to parties and such, but you tend to peter out and stop as you get older. It's been a long time since I dressed up as anything, but I still love doing horror movie marathons, reading scary stories, and doing local stuff like haunted houses.

What are you doing during the Halloween season? by ishutmyeyestosee in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is probably the first year I haven't tried to do the letterboxd Hooptober thing. And I never succeeded at it when I did.

Why, are you a ghost? Just a (hopefully temporary) shut in while I adjust to a new career and ride out the last of covid.

Lesbian in the middle of straight girl friends - wanted to cry by oofreesouloo in LGBDropTheT

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hence me saying I have no idea what you're trying to say. You sound like a condescending prick to everyone in this thread, so I'll chalk it up to no great loss.

Lesbian in the middle of straight girl friends - wanted to cry by oofreesouloo in LGBDropTheT

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Are you suggesting homosexuals can't or shouldn't be friends with heterosexuals?

Lesbian in the middle of straight girl friends - wanted to cry by oofreesouloo in LGBDropTheT

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I really don't even understand what you're trying to say.

Lesbian in the middle of straight girl friends - wanted to cry by oofreesouloo in LGBDropTheT

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I relate, OP. I've always been visibly gay, so I haven't been subjected to the "which guy do you have a crush on?" probing as much as other lesbians, but I do remember sitting in terror when the girls around me talk about their crushes and boyfriends and wondering if the dynamic between us would change if I didn't play along (I didn't know I was gay back then, but I knew I was "off" and I knew not having any crushes or dating history or not knowing "what kind of guy I like" would only amplify that).

When I encounter heterosexual women in love, I now try to empathize with their fundamental feelings, even if I don't completely understand the targets of those feelings. I don't think we're all that different in that regard - a lot of our struggles are the same.

I don't have a lot of female friends - I lean butch, so I don't really relate to a lot of girly stuff and more gender conforming women tend to think I'm weird and some go as far as wanting to change me (give me a makeover, take me for a spa day, etc) which puts me right out. I'd like to form a group of lesbian friends so I don't have to deal with that, but as we all know, it can be difficult for us to find each other right now and I'm not great at making friends on top of that.

Sorry you had a rough time.

Lesbian in the middle of straight girl friends - wanted to cry by oofreesouloo in LGBDropTheT

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

To be fair to them, I think those girls were well meaning, just completely missing the mark.

I hope you find your gay circle soon too.

Article on political lesbians by LesbianInExile in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I admire Julie Bindel and I think a lot of the stuff in this article is thought provoking, but she really lost me with the last line that "Every woman can be a lesbian – but it’s fine if they choose not to be." Maybe I'm misunderstanding her, because earlier in the article she seems to acknowledge that heterosexuality exists.

How many of you have genuinely experienced actual, extreme gender dysphoria? And please dont exaggerate but i mean actual, almost borderline creepy, harmful levels of what we now call gender dysphoria? Not the "im a tomboy" but "there's something deeply wrong with me" until you got over it. by schomee in LGBDropTheT

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I did. I was born in the early 80s, so I had no concept of gender or gender identity or transitioning.

Starting around 5, I would cry to my parents about wanting to be a boy - a few things happened around then that may have contributed, I had learned my parents had expected a boy because the ultrasounds indicated one, I started playing sports, and I started playing video games, especially roleplaying games that involved heroic men saving princesses.

It was a 24/7 thing. I'd say things like "if I'm a tomboy, then I am a boy - it's part of the word" (ironic to have a 5 year old's logic thrown back in my face by trans activists today). I'd go to bed praying I'd wake up the next day as a boy. I thought about killing myself and hoping reincarnation was true and I could be reincarnated into a male body. Once on a Donahue-esque talk show, I saw an intersex man who said he was thought to be a girl at birth, but they discovered he had internal male parts at puberty and I began believing that's what inevitably would happen to me. Spoiler alert: It didn't.

I externally desisted around puberty, not because I stopped wanting to be a boy, but because I was becoming socially aware of how off putting and weird I was being. But internally I was still more dysphoric than ever, much worse because of puberty and what it was doing to me. I daydreamed as a male, I would go into low key shock when some one referred to me as a girl or a woman. If a male showed romantic interest in me, I'd go home and cry my eyes out because I couldn't believe a heterosexual male saw me that way. This lasted somewhere into my mid 20s. At some point, I got a lot better about not letting my sex hold me back from things I wanted to do around then and started pursuing hobbies I had always wanted to do even if they were more masculine and intimidating, even if it meant I wasn't very good at them.

I switched to a more lowkey "things would be easier if I were a man" after that, and it became even more low key when I came out as gay in my 30s. I'd say I still have some pangs of envy when I see a male who looks like I imagined male me looking, but it doesn't ruin my day and I've otherwise accepted things as they are. If I could push a button and become an actual good looking, athletic man, I'd probably do it. Though I wouldn't do it if it meant being an ordinary or ugly man. And I definitely wouldn't do it if it meant being a transman.

Luckily the first transgender person I ever met (when I was around 18) was an FtM who just looked and acted like a butch lesbian, so transitioning struck me as incredibly stupid and delusional. If I had met a passing FtM, that may have doomed me. And if I had met a passing, handsome transman like Laith Ashley, I don't see any way I wouldn't be on hormones now.

I'm not the most well adjusted person - for years, I operated like an NPC even within my own life because a female life didn't seem worth living so I missed out on a lot of early milestones and development. But I can look at any anime avatar on Twitter and see that things could definitely be worse.

Study shows zero percent abuse rate in lesbian headed homes. Do you believe the study is accurate? by Shales123 in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Here's a link to the actual study:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3210350/

It says the participants were all children who were conceived through artificial insemination, so yes I can believe that out of 77 (one couple didn't complete the study) lesbian couples who consented to the study, 0 percent engaged in child abuse. I don't think that would be 0 percent globally, though I'd be willing to believe that lesbians abuse their children at a far lower rate than heterosexuals.

I'd also be curious to know if heterosexual couples who have trouble conceiving and have to engage in artificial insemination are more or less likely to abuse their kids. I couldn't find anything after a cursory glance, but it seems like extensive / expensive family planning would lead to more a stable home life in general.

Good cities in the US for middle aged lesbians? by ishutmyeyestosee in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I will look into Albuquerque, though I'm hoping to get away from the heat (I'm currently in Texas). Thanks!

Good cities in the US for middle aged lesbians? by ishutmyeyestosee in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think this is a good start. Some of the reasoning is a little off (I don't care where the ugly version of the pride flag was conceived), but there's some cities on here that I would never have thought of looking into. Thank you.

Anyone else's IP address permabanned from the L chat without ever having participating in it by Shales123 in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Are you using mobile? I got the same thing but it's fine over wifi.

It's a trash forum though.

Have you ever had this happen? by Lizzythelezzo in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for the response, sounds like the right thing to do.

Censorship Thursday - share your sub bans here! by NutterButterFlutter in LGBDropTheT

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Got banned from AskFeminists for saying feminism should be for females.

https://i.imgur.com/51vrj70.jpg

Well, that was weird by WildwoodFlower in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Glad to see it back up.

Have you ever had this happen? by Lizzythelezzo in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Did you ever find out what this person was doing? I was discussing possible signals or screening questions with someone and was reminded of this.

Should I date this girl who's interested in me even though I'm not that interested in her? by QueenOfTheNorth in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If there's any chance you may develop an interest in her after getting to know her better, I don't see the big deal about going out on one date and deciding whether or not to pursue it further after that - and I would not worry about potential awkwardness, almost all first dates are at least a little awkward.

That said, her buying you flowers is a bit much just to ask you out, and in no way obligates you to go out with her. So if you're really dead set against it, you could just tell her sorry, but you've been thinking it over and you've dealt with secret relationships before and don't want to go through with it again.

What's your favourite type of chocolate? by QueenOfTheNorth in Lesbians

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm a pleb, so I like milk chocolate the most.

If we're talking any kind of candy with chocolate, I like cadbury creme eggs and chocolate with salted caramel.