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[–]ishutmyeyestosee 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I relate, OP. I've always been visibly gay, so I haven't been subjected to the "which guy do you have a crush on?" probing as much as other lesbians, but I do remember sitting in terror when the girls around me talk about their crushes and boyfriends and wondering if the dynamic between us would change if I didn't play along (I didn't know I was gay back then, but I knew I was "off" and I knew not having any crushes or dating history or not knowing "what kind of guy I like" would only amplify that).

When I encounter heterosexual women in love, I now try to empathize with their fundamental feelings, even if I don't completely understand the targets of those feelings. I don't think we're all that different in that regard - a lot of our struggles are the same.

I don't have a lot of female friends - I lean butch, so I don't really relate to a lot of girly stuff and more gender conforming women tend to think I'm weird and some go as far as wanting to change me (give me a makeover, take me for a spa day, etc) which puts me right out. I'd like to form a group of lesbian friends so I don't have to deal with that, but as we all know, it can be difficult for us to find each other right now and I'm not great at making friends on top of that.

Sorry you had a rough time.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you very much. I truly appreciate it. For real, I feel you. It's really nice to hear someone who can relates to our struggles or has been through something similar or at the very least can empathize. I'm sorry that straight girls tried to "change you", that must have been horrible. I truly wish you the best and hope you can find your group of lesbian friends. This comments means the world to me rn.

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

To be fair to them, I think those girls were well meaning, just completely missing the mark.

I hope you find your gay circle soon too.