How sure are you of your beliefs?

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-11-25T15:56:04+00:00

I don't mind what people choose to do with their bodies, as long as they are over eighteen years old... my primary concerns are the erosion of women's sex based rights. I also don't think anyone should be coerced into using certain pronouns etc.

Based on my interactions with trans people, there's a whole range of reasons for people identifying as trans - and I'd say it's usually a combination of ASD/ADHD, structural dissociation/BPD, and cultural stereotypes about gender. There is definitely a subset who are highly influenced by porn and autogynephilia too, though I don't think this fully explains all cases.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-09-10T17:17:36+00:00

I definitely think body acceptance is better than transitioning. But I doubt that treating people with gender dysphoria is as simple as helping them accept their bodies. Most I've met have pretty major structural dissociation and Cluster B disorders (on top of diagnoses like autism and ADHD), which are notoriously challenging to treat on their own - whether they have gender dysphoria or not. My hypothesis is that gender dysphoria is generally a symptom of structural dissociation, so you have to treat that in order to resolve it properly. Obviously in many cases there are other factors going on like porn addiction and autogynephilia too.

[Edit] Janina Fisher has some great resources on treating structural dissociation if that's of interest.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-09-10T17:13:30+00:00

I knew a MTF who kept claiming to be a "straight woman" (i.e. only dates men) but always ended up dating women or FTMs. The one time this person tried to date men, she couldn't even bring herself to kiss them. It was oddly delusional as most MTFs just claim to be "transbians". This MTF also later told me she had BPD and narcissistic traits which fits the typical trans persona.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-09-10T17:10:43+00:00

I met a FTM who said he was asexual and aromantic, but if he ever dated someone it would only be an exact clone of himself. I thought that was interesting as a lot of FTM and MTF people seem to experience auto-eroticism (i.e. attraction to themselves). I wonder if this is why a lot of FTMs end up identifying as "gay men".

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-08-10T11:08:51+00:00

Fair enough, most are people I knew before I peaked.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-08-10T11:08:30+00:00

Yes, so much this!!

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-08-08T16:11:32+00:00

Pretty dramatically, in most cases. I do have one trans friend who seems okay but the vast majority have been extremely unstable, e.g. having dissociative episodes, and engaging in a lot of unhealthy behaviour. Lots of emotionally abusive behaviours in the majority of cases, though there are some exceptions. Some trans people are fine as casual friends but then start acting out if you become closer to them, as it seems to trigger their mental illness more.

[Edit] I would also add, none of the drama is a result of my GC views, as I have never told them.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-08-01T16:08:10+00:00

Pretty much all of them have been fairly mentally unstable and have significant Cluster B traits/structural dissociation. Most are also autistic/ADHD in my experience.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-08-01T14:52:27+00:00

Mostly friendships with trans people.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-07-16T08:08:58+00:00

Yes the person I dated identified as trans before we met, and I hadn't really had any exposure to trans people up to that point. I had been religious for many years so it was all new to me and I was open minded.

I guess I would say their transition was like a third person in the relationship, who was a higher priority than me. So it felt like I was in a polyamorous relationship where the gender identity/transition was the primary partner and I was just the secondary partner. Also the person I dated had frequent dissociative episodes and eventually admitted they have BPD and narcissistic traits. There was a lot of self hatred and self destructive behaviour because they disliked their body, including eating disorder issues.

I have noticed all of this is very common in the trans community as a whole. Overall it was quite a dysfunctional relationship but it definitely opened up my eyes and I learned a lot.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-07-15T13:33:36+00:00

I have definitely met straight women who were tomboys as teens because they didn't want to be ogled by men, but later became more comfortable being themselves (and being more feminine, as that felt more authentic to them).

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-07-15T13:32:24+00:00

"The Disappearing Butch was born out of necessity, the necessity to expose society to an in-between world in which women shatter the rules that have been placed on them. Society has deemed that women who do not conform to feminine standards are other. But also the need to have these individuals’ stories told. Combining historical images, present-day photography, and audio recordings, Theresa Scott’s The Disappearing Butch, places female masculinity front and center.

As a person who identifies as a butch lesbian, Theresa Scott set off to discover others like herself, questioning if these individuals had similar experiences in navigating the world, developing into the person present today and the opinion of the butch disappearing from the LGBTQ+ community. While the stories give the audience a view into the history and struggle one may face, the images presented allow one to see who these magnificent individuals are—combining traditional portraits that examine each person’s dapper side. In contrast, lifestyle photographs allow a glimpse into the subject’s world and passions.

If you would like to be a part of this project contact me using the form below or email me at tmscott81@gmail.com.

This project is supported by the United Arts Council of Raleigh and Wake County and the North Carolina Arts Council, a division of the Department of Natural and Cultural Resources."

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-07-14T20:38:44+00:00

There is a o/LovingWomen section on Ovarit, which is inclusive of all same-sex attracted women. If you are looking for something that welcomes bisexual men, you could try r/bisexualadults on Reddit.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-07-14T19:26:08+00:00

I had a similar experience where I was totally TRA, until exposure to lots of trans identified people slowly changed my views. I never changed my views because of reading TERF material - I sought out TERF articles and forums after I started questioning due to my experiences with multiple trans people in my personal life and social networks. I found the vast majority were autistic/ADHD, mentally unstable and had Cluster B disorders (notably BPD and structural dissociation), so I started wondering why and looking deeper into it.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-07-14T19:22:28+00:00

Yes, I actually know quite a few - several have been roommates, plus I know quite a few as friends/acquaintances in my social networks. I even dated one a few years ago, so I have a lot of first-hand experience with trans identified people, including FTMs, NBs and MTFs.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-06-24T15:19:20+00:00

Wow, this is really sad. I hope that more awareness starts to spread about these issues! I don't think people are truly informed when they make these choices.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-06-23T10:16:05+00:00

Ugh what a bummer! Dating apps are often a huge dumpster fire. I feel your pain!

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-06-09T19:12:19+00:00

OMG this is ridiculously accurate!

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-06-09T19:10:37+00:00

Oh no, that sounds really frustrating and depressing! I extend solidarity, as I've experienced similar things on dating apps and in the local LGBT scene. Luckily I have met some legit lesbians and bi women on Lex, HER and Bumble, but you have to sift through a lot of chaff to get to the wheat, so to speak!

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-06-05T17:54:37+00:00

I don't think there are any left really. The closest thing to the old r/truelesbians are r/actuallylesbian and r/actuallybutch, as far as I know.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-06-05T17:53:27+00:00

Happy Pride everyone!

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-05-24T20:41:41+00:00

I don't mind the different flags but I really don't think they should all be crowded into one. It looks way to crowded and aesthetically unappealing.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-05-24T20:37:04+00:00

I've actually never met anyone who faked a disorder except for one woman at a church I visited years ago who faked having cancer. But my experience is people who think they have a disorder (especially a Cluster B disorder like NPD/BPD) usually do have it, or major traits of it.

If not the exact disorder they claim then usually they have some other severe mental health condition, because mentally stable people don't fake having a mental illness or personality disorders. I have met numerous trans people who said they suspect they have BPD and/or NPD - and I don't doubt they are correct.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-04-19T07:15:14+00:00

I totally agree. I am not supportive of Islam as a religion, but have a lot of compassion for refugees and asylum seekers. I do think it's a serious problem that the left overlooks the major problems of Islam and paints it as racism rather than criticism of a religious and political ideology.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-04-14T14:54:11+00:00

Ahhh this is awesome! Such a good idea. I'd be happy to add you as friends on PoGo if you like. :)

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-03-30T06:33:42+00:00

This is so damn accurate!

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-03-27T17:13:37+00:00

It seems to me that the whole idea of cross dressing comes from the idea that men and women have to wear different clothes, due to having a gender identity. If you let go of the idea of gender identity altogether, then clothes don't have to be gendered at all, and thus "cross dressing" is kind of a misnomer.

Obviously some clothes are tailored for female figures (e.g. bigger around the hips, bust etc) and some clothes are tailored for male figures (more straight up and down cuts, and generally somewhat larger) but other than that, I don't see clothes as being for men or women. I'm a natal woman and regularly shop from both the male and female sections in stores, and will buy men's clothes as long as they fit me. I don't see it as crossdressing - I just wear what I like. Sure, it's fun and freeing, but has no erotic vibe to me.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-03-27T17:09:04+00:00

R/truelesbians moved to Saidit.net initially but is now only active on Ovarit as o/lesbians.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-03-26T16:57:24+00:00

Maybe I'm an outlier but I'm same sex attracted and really enjoy vaginal penetration and anal penetration with fingers and/or toys. I have masturbated on my own with anal sex from time to time, though it is more messy so I don't do it often.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-03-26T16:00:52+00:00

Perhaps they're aware that they're the ones with the real fetishes, so that's why they like to project it on to everyone else to make themselves feel better.

Well lots of them advertise having Cluster B disorders very publicly, so it doesn't surprise me that they engage in so much projection!!

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-03-26T15:59:33+00:00

Yeah, being obsessed with giant hentai boobs might be fetishistic, but just like boobs in general is definitely not. They are trying to redefine all sexual attraction as a fetish basically.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-03-26T15:57:12+00:00

This reminds me of the MGTOW movement. Supposedly they are going their own way, but actually they are obsessed with women. In the same vein, trans activists talk about how their experience is so different to LGBs (which is true), but still want to piggyback on the LGB rights movement and community support. Many are also obsessed and fetishise LGB people much like MGTOW does with women.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-03-01T16:46:25+00:00

The main way it affects me on a personal level is that it has drastically reduced my dating pool - I am most attracted to butch/GNC women, and it's extremely rare to find ones who don't identify as NB or trans men these days. That's probably the most depressing part in terms of my personal life. It's also frustrating having to censor myself about my real views on TRA ideology in many circles.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-02-06T11:14:12+00:00

I've found it helps to talk to other Radfem/GC people, or at least people who are willing to question TRA dogma and consider other perspectives. Pretty much all my close friends are open to discussing it and tend to agree with a lot of what I say. Politically conservative people are often quite open minded to gendercritical ideas, though they are often coming from a more religious point of view. The only ones I don't really talk to much about it are those who identify as trans, or who have trans partners and have very strong feelings about it (most of those are not close friends, though).

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-01-20T15:54:35+00:00

One funny thing I've noticed is that a lot of MTFs are quite proud of having BPD and advertise it publicly. Some will even admit they are narcissistic. I suspect this is peaking people a lot more!

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-01-19T15:23:12+00:00

I have come across actual platonic (non-sexual and non-romantic) life partners but I do think the concept of queerplatonic is confusing and ambiguous. Some say it can include sex which pretty much erases any clear definition of it.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-01-11T14:15:46+00:00

Yes, and I guess the women who date trans identifying males are likely to be straight, heteroflexible or bisexual anyway, so perhaps this doesn't really affect them in the same way as actual natal lesbians.

Lizzythelezzo · 2022-01-09T16:02:56+00:00

Ugh it makes me facepalm how so many straight men fetishise being a lesbian. Seriously, why would you want to have 1-2% of the female population as your dating pool instead of 98%? Not to mention all the privilege that comes with being heterosexual.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-12-24T13:59:06+00:00

I mean she's not wrong - if you want to date someone with a severe dissociative disorder like gender dysphoria, you might be a bit fruity yourself. :P

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-12-15T11:43:40+00:00

Thanks, luckily I already have one!

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-12-13T15:56:38+00:00

I'm confused. Is that a picture of a natal man with a pregnant FTM? Or it is just two regular gay men?

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-12-13T14:18:31+00:00

The vast majority of trans/NB identifying people I've met are autistic, and a fairly high number have mental health issues such as Complex PTSD, BPD and dissociative disorders, so I think any outreach would be best targeted towards those groups. I definitely think providing more support for adolescent/teen autistic girls is huge but not sure how one would implement that effectively.

In a more general sense, I think just being a GNC person without identifying trans is pretty radical in our current climate. Even if you can't speak out openly about your views, if you have a position where you are visible to youth and young people, it can be great to be a positive example and role model. Healing trauma and teaching embodiment skills would probably reduce the number of transitioners as well.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-11-27T14:35:36+00:00

"I've been asked before if I feel bad about being gay just because I don't often wear clothes with rainbows on them. Seriously, people??"

Wow, that's really odd! I've never encountered this sort of thing before. I also don't think I know any LGB people who regularly wear rainbows or pride symbols. FWIW I'm age 30, so maybe it's different for people of other age groups.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-11-26T12:52:01+00:00

I take your point, but I also think a lot of LGB people wear rainbows and stereotypical clothes/hairstyles to signal to others as a way to find partners and LGB friends. Dating apps are a shitshow so I don't blame people for trying other ways of finding other LGB people in the wild. I don't see this as a bad thing necessarily, as long as people understand it's not compulsory and just do it because they want to. Some people might be actively changing their behaviour in a way that is more reflective of who they are, because they feel like they now have permission to do so.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-11-08T09:30:05+00:00

I suspect a lot of people migrated to Ovarit. There's also a subreddit called r/actuallylesbians which has kind of replaced r/truelesbians.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-11-08T09:24:56+00:00

My understanding is that it's different from typical romantic/sexual relationships because they don't kiss, makeout, have sex etc. So it's basically another term for a platonic life partner. I suppose you could just call it a very committed friendship, but most people don't share finances and raise kids with their buddies.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-09-11T15:42:41+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that - but honestly, it sounds like that woman is pretty unstable. My experience is that women who lead people on just for attention usually have fairly serious mental health issues, and aren't worth your time anyway. I've had lots of women flirt with me without any intention of dating me, so I've got to the point where I only take direct communication seriously (i.e. someone saying they are into women and declaring they want to date me specifically). I've found flirting means nothing to a lot of people. I'm glad you're checking into psychotherapy as it really helped me and sounds like you could do with some extra support. Sending hugs your way!

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-09-11T15:37:11+00:00

I have met people who would be okay with mismatched parts sexually, but just choose not to date trans people due to the mental illness and dissociative issues.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-09-05T17:56:33+00:00

It sounds like you are experiencing retroactive jealousy - if you do a web search, you can find resources specifically for this issue. However, it's also very insensitive of her to constantly talk about what kind of guys she'd date "if she were straight". Unless you're in an ethically non-monogamous relationship, it's unusual to talk about attractions to others. I mean if you've both agreed to talk about crushes on others that's fine, but it's not the norm in monogamous partnerships, regardless of gender.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-08-17T11:06:52+00:00

To be honest, the concept of "autigender" actually makes more sense to me than transgender identities. They are being honest about the fact that autism is a big factor in how people perceive their gender and sense of self/identity. The vast majority of people who identify as trans/NB are autistic and are on the structural dissociation spectrum (e.g. they have conditions like Complex PTSD, BPD, DID, etc).

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-08-09T09:09:30+00:00

It's not my place to tell Jackie Hill-Perry how to live her life. And more than that, I think it's at least in the realm of possibility that her religious faith—and even adhering to it in this specific way—might bring her more peace and joy than a romantic relationship would. I don't know. But there's a supreme arrogance to saying that what I personally think is the one and only right answer.

I have wondered if some of these people have tried same sex dating and it didn't work out well for them. Who knows? Maybe some of them had an abusive relationship, or just found the small dating pool discouraging.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-08-09T09:07:27+00:00

I think there are different levels of conversion therapy. There are some religious people who just promote celibacy, and I think that's fine as long as people don't think that they are going to hell if they choose to date or have sex - and thus it's not really a free choice. I think it's a lot more problematic when they try to turn gay people straight, and insist they date someone of the opposite sex to "cure" them. (I am speaking from experience as I did religious conversion therapy myself.)

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-07-29T10:04:03+00:00

I'm pretty open with straight female friends about crushing on women or dating women, but I don't tend to go into detail about sexual things like being attracted to breasts etc. My friends and I don't tend to have graphic sexual conversations in general, except on rare occasions.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-05-07T12:21:32+00:00

Ugh why can't people just admit they are bisexual? I know there's a lot of biphobia in society but seriously...

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-05-07T12:05:06+00:00

It may be relevant and helpful for people who are asexual, but I think it becomes more problematic when applied to people who are not. I do agree that a lot of people who claim to be heteroromantic and homosexual are just gay and in denial... I'm not sure whether romantic love is just a construct though. I did read that neuroscientists have found particular parts of the brain light up when someone is in love, and the brainwave patterns are unique. The problem is we can't really look inside people's brains so it's hard to pin down exactly what romantic attraction actually means. It's not a physical activity like sex that's a bit more straightforward to define and categorise.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-04-30T19:39:43+00:00

Hmmm, most of the lesbians in my region seem to be into stuff like camping and hiking. Maybe it depends a bit on your location? I don't see a lot of people into astrology and stuff in my area but YMMV.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-04-30T19:33:52+00:00

Hmm, when I meet "straight" women on dating apps, they are usually bicurious at the very least... and often repressed lesbians. This might be an unpopular opinion but I actually don't mind people seeking platonic friends on dating apps, as long as they make their intentions super clear and don't deceive anyone. I've made some great friends online so I'm open minded.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-04-26T05:01:19+00:00

I actually just didn't respond, as I didn't feel like dealing with drama at the time and wasn't that interested. I'm pretty sure they were pro TRA and anti JK Rowling, based on their FB profile, so I left it alone.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-02-27T18:41:56+00:00

It looks hot on some people. I don't really care that much about people's hair colour though.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-01-23T13:29:43+00:00

No, personally I found most paid sites didn't have enough people to be worthwhile, so I didn't get better matches that way. I find the apps with higher volume tend to get better results for me, as there's a much wider variety of people on them.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-01-17T16:50:24+00:00

I suspect a lot of "gay" men are actually bisexuals, but a lot of straight women won't date bi men so it's easier to just identify as gay. Society also tends to assume bi men are on the way to full homosexuality anyway, so it's easy for them to internalise that.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-01-17T16:48:07+00:00

I don't know. I think it's skewed by the fact that there are a lot of Kinsey 5 bi women who identify as lesbians, especially if they are married to women or primarily date women. But I do think the percentage is fairly small, so somewhere around 1-5% seems pretty accurate.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-01-17T16:46:14+00:00

I'm emotionally available and love to snuggle, so I'm very sensual and affectionate. I also love stimulating conversations and D&Ms for hours. I take life at a mindful pace, and like to stop and smell the roses. I'm open minded, spiritual and creative. I've also overcome a lot of challenges in my life, so I have a great deal of resilience and empathy. I feel I have a lot to offer the right person, though the positive traits I have aren't always the most flashy or exciting - so they don't always translate well on dating apps.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-01-17T16:43:09+00:00

I'd recommend doing a free trial first to see if there's anyone in your area. I did a free trial and noticed there was no one local so I didn't bother paying. If you are in a well populated area (like a big city) you might be in luck, though.

Lizzythelezzo · 2021-01-01T08:47:20+00:00

Just want to say I hear you and I think you are completely right to feel like your male experience is being appropriated here. I find this behaviour from trans people disturbing.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-12-28T14:12:26+00:00

No, I just say boobs or breasts.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-12-22T15:20:20+00:00

Yes, I stayed too long and it dragged out the bitter end. She started self harming and eventually admitted she probably has BPD. It was hard to come to terms with, but I now realise she wasn't capable of having healthy relationships. I think sometimes it's better to end it sooner than to leave on a sour note, but I have compassion for myself as it was a really difficult time in my life.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-12-10T16:09:36+00:00

I tend to like women who are a bit curvy and cuddly, and I tend to have a preference for soft butches. But I've crushed on women all over the map from quite femme to quite butch, so I'm not too picky. I don't really have any dealbreakers when it comes to appearance or body type.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-12-10T16:05:59+00:00

I don't find "babyspeak" attractive but I do find a certain childlikeness or vulnerability can be appealing... I tend to like women who are outwardly strong and tough, but inwardly a bit more gentle and sweet. I like to feel like I can nurture their soft side. I also like when someone can be silly, playful and goofy, but I don't think that's quite the same as the "I'll be a good girl" kinky stuff that men seem to like. Perhaps the difference is childish versus childlike.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-12-06T13:41:07+00:00

I'm confused by number six. Do you want someone with disruptive mental health, or do you mean you don't want someone with disruptive mental health?

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-28T14:51:16+00:00

Yeah, this person is definitely mentally ill. It reminds me of a guy I knew who convinced himself he was gay even though he tried dating men and hated it, and always ended up with women.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-28T14:39:57+00:00

I thought it was pretty average for couples to have sex once or twice a week? A lot of asexual couples never have sex, or maybe once or twice a year at most.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-27T19:27:38+00:00

I think it's because a high percentage of lesbians are vegans?

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-27T19:24:23+00:00

It seems a bit like asking is atheism a religion. It's not but it is a type of belief system or worldview.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-27T19:23:00+00:00

I don't know, I still don't want to kiss on the lips or make out with my platonic friends or family. A lot of asexual people like kissing, holding hands and cuddling their partner, and still get married and have kids together. They just don't particularly want to do activities that stimulate the genitals. I suppose you could say this is a platonic life partner, rather than a romantic non-sexual relationship. But if I had a truly platonic life partner I wouldn't want to kiss them at all because there would be no romantic attraction there whatsoever.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-22T16:45:14+00:00

I mean, I agree with you that homosexual should be a neutral and not a negative word. I think it's particularly important to distinguish same sex attraction in this era of trans rights activism. But I come from a fundamentalist religious background and found that the term homosexual was often used to condemn people instead of words like gay/lesbian/bisexual/queer. I think it may be partly because it's used in certain modern Bible translations.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-19T14:58:42+00:00

To be fair, I have seen the word "homosexual" used a lot by preachers and religious fundamentalists when ranting about the evils of gay sex/relationships. So I think that may be where it comes from... however I do think it's fallen out of favour due to trans activism as well.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-19T14:54:15+00:00

It seems that lesbian has been redefined as a bisexual woman who prefers dating women, rather than someone exclusively attracted to women. I get the impression that people also think that using the label bisexual means "woman who is into both sexes but prefers dating men/only dates men".

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-18T16:45:27+00:00

I've noticed a significant uptick in posts like this on r/latebloomerlesbians in the last month or two. I often notice comments saying "it's okay to be bisexual" and the OP will keep insisting she is lesbian despite no evidence to support it.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-11T17:53:09+00:00

I generally look for people who give off vibes of being kind, warm and relatable. It's kind of hard to describe exactly with any specific details, but I guess I look for people who I think I'd get along with and feel comfortable around. People who are a bit goofy and not too "cool" or polished. I rarely feel attracted just from a photo or profile so I guess I look for people I'd (hopefully) get on with as a friend, and take it from there.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-11T17:49:53+00:00

I used to think I wouldn't like oral sex before fully coming to terms with being attracted to women, but I found if I dated someone I was genuinely attracted to, I really craved giving it. So I guess it's one of those things for me that seems weird in the abstract but in the right context, is very appealing.

That said, I would have no issue dating a woman who didn't want to give oral, as long as she was flexible and open minded to other ways of pleasuring one another. I'm not really attached to any particular sexual activity as an absolute must - it's more about whether the overall experience feels pleasurable and there's a great connection.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-08T19:29:12+00:00

Yep, that's what I thought. Just wanted to double check as I've never dealt with this before.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-08T19:10:09+00:00

I was actually thinking of doing that - it's a good idea. It might help them realise that by bringing it up, they are spreading her GC views as well haha.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-08T19:09:26+00:00

This was the phrasing: "I know this’ll probably sound quite random, but I kind of just want to get it out of the way before we go any further... what’s your opinion of JK Rowling?"

I wondered if the person is trans/NB identifying and trying to screen out people who aren't into it, though their photos wouldn't strike me as obviously in that category. Then again some TIMs do pass well in pictures, and some NBs don't dress androgynously.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-08T14:31:20+00:00

I'd like a simple and intimate affair, getting married in a rainforest by the beach. And I'd like to have a honeymoon there too.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-08T14:30:11+00:00

I admit that I wondered if the Reddit banwave was an attempt to unite the left wing, so they were more likely to vote Trump out. I have no idea if it's true but the thought did cross my mind.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-11-06T17:06:18+00:00

Probably the main thing is negative statements like "no drama" - I always wonder if they are the ones creating the drama, or they just don't want to do any emotional labour in a relationship. Another similar one is "good vibes only". I wouldn't immediately swipe left if the rest of the profile was really good, but I'd probably ask them what they mean as it sounds like someone who expects relationships to be easy and carefree 100% of the time. It also bothers me a bit when women specify on their profile that they are looking for someone with a good career. I understand why people would want that but it feels a bit gauche to say it like that, or things like "I want to be spoiled".

I would see being into HP as a positive though as it might be a hint that they are GC.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-10-28T11:39:41+00:00

Maybe you could start a Zoom meetup for lesbians in your area? Perhaps a book club or something along those lines could be fun and a good way to meet new people.

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-10-22T10:11:35+00:00

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense!

Lizzythelezzo · 2020-10-21T12:43:42+00:00

Fair enough!

Lizzythelezzo