Scientists say men should masturbate 21 times a month to boost their health

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[–]Alienhunter 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (17 children)

I suggest just having sex 21 times a month instead.

[–]carn0ld03 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

"If you wanna to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife..."

[–]iamonlyoneman 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

uggos need love too

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is there truth.

[–]BISH 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I suggest just having sex 21 times a month instead.

Most scientists don't have that luxury, and they have taken a practical advice approach

They'll take what they can get.

[–]Musky 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (11 children)

I asked my wife to take care of my needs instead of having to masturbate, but her little hands get so tired.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Why? Did she tie you up?

[–]Musky 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

I maybe bungled the joke. The idea is instead of masturbating, a guy gets a wife so he doesn't have to, but the punchline is that he's just having her jerk him off instead of fucking her.

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Doesn't have to be a joke if you're getting tied up.

[–]Musky 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

It's tax time again, you change your mind about being chained to a desk working?

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I want to be left chained to a dungeon wall not a work desk.

[–]Musky 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

They say relationships are built on compromise.

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

You could tie me up in a chair at the work desk. Hands need to be tied behind me so I couldn't do any work though.

[–]Musky 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Listen, Vulptex, I appreciate your position but the fact is we can't just do slavery simply for shits and giggles, it's simply not economically feasible at this time.

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sex can be risky. Don't be stupid.

[–]Musky 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

at least 21 times a month. Nobody's saying you shouldn't have more if you want too, though.

Key point here.

[–]BISH 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

The scientists I know say men should set a target goal of 21,000 times per month.

[–]JasonCarswell 2 insightful - 6 fun2 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I'm easily 5 times as healthy.

[–]Vulptex 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

That number seems a little low to me.

[–]Bonn1770 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

They want you addicted to porn and destroying your brain with jerking off. Always do the opposite of what Jews say.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

They also want you desperate and preoccupied with sex. Either one works just fine for the elites. Then as a diversion they get the masses to fight over which is better.

[–]BanditMcFuklebuck 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

If orgasm-ing is part of a shadowy overlord agenda, then I don't wanna be....Based?

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's not

[–]jet199 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Is this because they have to take a week off during their periods?

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I heard there's a monthly cycle for something but I don't know what for. Definitely no periods though.

[–]cottoneyejoe 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Reminds me of this TRUE story:

I went to the doctor and he was examining me. He says "Cottoneye, you're going to have to stop masturbating!" I said "Why Doc?" He says "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

[–]scornedandsedated 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I do this. I just knock it all out in one day, leaving the rest of the month to concentrate on other things.

[–]LordoftheFlies 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

leaving the rest of the month to concentrate on other things.

And for your poor, abused meat to recover from being beat like a slave being told his name is Toby.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You could say that about literally anything.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It doesn't work like that. You can do it as many times as you want but you're already dry after the first few. Then it will replete within a few days.

What does seem to help for some reason is prostate stimulation.

[–]The_Lear_Bluce_Ree 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Well now I'm thinking there might be something to "no fap"

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have tried it a few times, it never does anything but make me increasingly irritated and distracted by that growing itch. I think it's worse for me because I'm very sensitive, but other people have the same issues after a few days.

[–]Tums_is_Smut_bkwrds 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So, a Monday then?

[–]Evola 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Protip: always do the opposite of what they tell you to do.

[–]legly 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

damn niggers i maxxed out on the furst