To be a parent

submitted by [deleted] from self.Lesbians

I have no children and I don't think I'll ever have any. It makes me a little sad but it is not that important. When I was younger I didn't care too much about it and even though the women I've been together with in the past have been positive to parenthood it never happened. How do you feel about having chidren? Is it something you want and if yes why?

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[–]weirdlyhaunted 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have never, ever, ever wanted to have kids. Since I was five I've been saying I don't want kids, and only now in my thirties are people starting to believe me. In the interim, I have discovered that I'm not actually opposed to being a parent, I just have no desire to go through the horrific and life-threatening condition of pregnancy and the trauma of giving birth. I may adopt, someday, but even that is very unlikely because I simply don't want to live for someone else.

[–]Elvira95 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm very anti-natalisti for nature. As a kid I said I didn't want to marry. Then discovered that really I just didn't want to marry a man. But for the kids part, I really find it cruel to put kids in this world, at least you got amazing genes andhigh income, so that their life will be easier. There is more pain than happiness.

[–]Elvira95 12 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Would never be so cruel to force someone to play this shitty game called life.

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’ve always wanted to adopt, but I’m not sure if I actually will. I’m still not really old enough to be a mom, I’m 21. I have a while to figure it out I guess, but I’m not sure I’d be any good at parenting. I’m basically always zoned out, probably not great for watching out for kids, lol.

[–]VioletRemi 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I don't like kids and pregnancy will kill me because of my health issues.

I will only become a mother if my future wife will be able to bear up a child from combined mine and her ova. No other way of becoming parent, I think. Maybe adoption - as I am too kind and want everyone around to be happy and have a good life, but most likely no.

[–]Elvira95 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

But if you don't like kids, why would you want to have one? yeah, adoption would at least be a good gesture since they're already in this world. But I don't want to parent. I can barely take care of my problems. I will prefer a pet to kid anyday

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

We already dicussed this aspect with you ;)

But if you don't like kids, why would you want to have one?

I don't know, I have some weird feel of need to continue my heritage. Even thought, I don't really like the idea, and in general dislike toddlers.

[–]Elvira95 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Your sister is doingthe biological work. My heritage is better not to be continued lol

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, but...

My heritage is better not to be continued lol

Lies, and you know it. You are an amazing woman, honey.

[–]Elvira95 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lies, and you know it. You are an amazing woman, honey.

Nah My genes suck. And regardless, i dont want kids. And wished my parents had the same childfree ideas :D But too late. Will never want to put anyone in this world.

[–]MrFahrenheit46 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I do want a kid, but with adoption/fostering. I'm somehow really good with young kids (I've been told that I have a Mister Rogers kind of vibe), and while I do not want to bring more humans into the world, I do want to do right by the kids that are already here.

[–]lovelyspearmint 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I want kids, but I have certain health conditions that would make pregnancy difficult/impossible and I wouldn't want to pass them onto my kids. If my partner wants to bear the kids, then I'm all for it, provided that we equally share the responsibility of raising them and have an equal amount of downtime if it becomes too overwhelming for either of us.

Otherwise, I'd be happy to adopt a kid, but only if I have a partner who wants one. I couldn't handle a kid on my own, and I know how difficult it is for single parents.

[–]Destresse 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ideally, yes I'd like children. In practice, I'd be a terrible mother. So, really, it depends on two things:

One, if I work out all of my issues to be able to be a good mom before menopause hits lol.

Two, if I get a partner who also wants kids.

Man, it's too bad I got screwed up as a child, because I've got pretty good genes and I'm well on my way to have very good income, I'd be able to create a good environment. If I didn't have all this damn trauma to deal with, I'd be a good candidate. Makes me sad to think about.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd like them. I'm not excited about pregnancy but that's how you get them I guess. Babies are cute, but I think one of the most generous things you can do for another human being is give them a safe and loving home to grow up in. I'd love to do that and see a kid grow up happy.

[–]strictly 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t want kids and have said I didn’t want kids as early as I remember. I think being pregnant would be a nightmare like in the alien movies. I don’t like the thought of being the cause of someone existence as the kid might end up unhappy or a bad person. I think having a kid would be soul-killing, like living as a zombie servant, I don’t want to live for someone else. It would be more direct and fulfilling to pursue my own dreams than putting that time and effort on the kid hoping they will achieve theirs.. I don’t dislike kids though, I just don’t want them.

[–]catsuneko 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've never wanted any for as long as I can remember. I even remember telling my mom when I was about 4 or 5, and she responded that if I don't want kids I should stay away from boys. Luckily for me that hasn't been hard at all since I'm a lesbian lol. Idk I'm just not maternal, and I dislike being around kids, or at least babies and younger kids. I don't mind older kids as much, but it would suck waiting several years to be able to tolerate my child. If I ever somehow decide I do want children I think I'd just opt for adoption since I'm super turned off by the idea of being pregnant and giving birth for several reasons, but I doubt I'll be changing my mind tbh.

[–]MyLongestJourney 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

How do you feel about having chidren?

I do not want children.Biological or adopted.