The reason young lesbian culture is so cringe- by Shales123 in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m a senior in college. As a freshly out, high school lesbian I remember being asked in detail what I would or wouldn’t do with a trans woman. Most of what I would call lesbians at my college self id as trans men or nb. I know over a hundred people here relatively well and yet I know less than 5 women who would call themselves lesbians, I can only say 2 besides myself for certain. Young “lesbian” culture is cringe because theres no young lesbians, ir at least, none willingly admitting to being lesbians. I know maybe 2-3 “non-binary lesbians”. Young lesbian culture doesn’t even exist because young women are living in fear of being accused of wrong think. You can’t even say that you like transwomen but wouldn’t fuck one, anything short of accepting dick into your life is an invitation for hate speech, because you’re a “terf”.

Discussion: were you a "masculine" child? Were you always butch/femme or has it evolved? by QueenOfTheNorth in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was pretty girly as a kid, but I also played sports, spent a lot of time outside, went to summer camp the woods every year, etc, so I wasn’t one of those girls afraid to get dirty or anything. I loved things that were pink and sparkly and mostly played with girls toys, but I started feeling different from other girls around age 10 when I realized the weren’t joking about liking boys... I’m fairly feminine now but I don’t wear makeup or shave, and I only wear clothes that are comfortable. I never wear heels and I always wear some kind of athletic shorts under if I’m wearing a skirt so I don’t have to worry about how much I move. I love baking and gardening, and I want to get better at sewing, but I don’t feel like I have to do those things because I’m a woman, I just enjoy doing them. I also love hiking, art, photography, and I recently got by bike fixed so I can ride it again! So yeah I would say I’m a femme and basically always have been, but I feel like it’s different being a femme than being a feminine straight women, because I can leave out the parts of femininity that I dislike since I don’t need men’s attention. (To be fair, neither do straight women, but being lonely isn’t nice). I did have a phase where I hated all girly clothing and activities when I was around 13-14, but I mostly just couldn’t stand not knowing what to do with my body while I was growing. I wasn’t a boxy little kid anymore but I definitely wasn’t womanly and I just didn’t know what kind of clothes to put on that lol. I think my hobbies have actually shifted to more “feminine” ones as an adult, mostly because I have my own space to do things like baking and gardening. My mom never let me bake at home, it’s “too messy”, and I can’t say I blame her, it is messy. It’s weird how I feel completely different now than when I was a teenager, but also completely the same. To be fair I’m only 21 so the only difference is not living with my parents anymore.

Short answer: no I was never really a masculine kid, I just also didn’t feel the same as other girls.

Working 9 to 5... by fckme in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have lots of goals but they don’t really translate into a career. I’m graduating college in the spring and don’t have any idea what to do after. I’ve worked in food/retail since I was a teenager and would honestly just manage a store or restaurant but i feel like people see working these jobs after college as a “failure to launch”, since college is supposed to be a gateway to “real” (corporate) jobs. I really just went to continue my education and because my family said I should. I know I will make more money if I can find anything to do in the corporate world but I find office jobs slow, and I do better when I’m busy. I decided to major in art for college since I don’t feel like the major of your bachelors degree matters much anyway and everyone keeps asking how I’m going to get into “the industry”, but I don’t really want to. If i have to work on other people’s projects or make art for corporate purposes I will actually lose my mind.

In 2021, what are your honest thoughts and feelings when you see a woman with hair dyed an unnatural color? by AndiOop in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I dont judge too much on hair color, my own hair is a sorta unnatural bright red, but i just dont feel like blue/green hair work on many people. I know a lot of people who have pulled off shades of pink or purple well though(especially if you stay a similar tone to your natural color, like pastel if you were blonde etc). I also dont like people who go several months between dying with bright hair because with unnatural colors the roots and fading are super obvious! I have dated people with unnatural hair colors before, as long as you don’t look sloppy i think it can be fine.

How to make peace with being a lesbian as a 16yo with no lesbian friends by QueenOfTheNorth in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I felt a lot like you do when I was younger. I’m not too much older than you now, I’m 21 and in my last semester of college, so I’m not some wise old person or anything, but I have the perspective of someone from your own generation, going through this crazy social media obsessed, politically weird culture while growing up. I’ve found it sort of hard to find other women who agree with me politically to date, but as I’ve grown up I’ve realized I am happy enough with my life the way it is, and I can wait for the right person, instead of trying to make it work with people I know I won’t get along with. As far as female friendships go, they’ve gotten much easier in college, because people have a wider variety of interests and the girls I know are less “boy crazy” because they’ve dated before and aren’t going through their first significant crushes and relationships any more. Teen girls talk about boys more than adult women because they’re just starting out with their love life/ figuring out dating, and its hard to do without talking to friends about it. This doesn’t make it less awkward to be a lesbian in group of straight girls talking about boy crushes, but it does get better as you get older and the girls you know get more used to dating, and won’t want to talk about it every second of the day. A good thing about being a young lesbian right now is that we have to internet to find each other on and don’t have to go through the period of being an awkward teenage lesbian without finding any other lesbians to talk to!

How to make peace with being a lesbian as a 16yo with no lesbian friends by QueenOfTheNorth in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There’s lots of varying reasons. To be honest, one reason is because straight, white kids don’t feel like they have a “say” in politics any more since they aren’t in a minority group... so they’re making minority groups to feel like their voice matters. Its honestly just more meaningful to admit you aren’t a minority but support them, but that doesn’t get you the recognition of being a minority, so pretending will have to do for some people... that isn’t everyone of course, some people are just questioning and caught up in all the confusing labels that have been creating to describe every micro-identity. Its also a sort of western individualism, we feel like we have to have some sort of key word to describe our whole personality and identity to anyone in a few words, instead of just explaining your preferences to people as you get to know them. Lots of “sexualities” are things that are really preferences, not a sexual orientation. For example not liking people you don’t know well aka “demisexual” isn’t its own sexual orientation, just a preference within someone’s sexual orientation. We’re just at a weird point (possibly because of the internet and social media encouraging us to summarize our whole selves in “bios”?) where we feel the need to have tiny individualized labels to describe our whole identities without talking in depth about ourselves.

I'm totally not trying to diffuse the catfight that's brewing, but here's a sexuality quiz (that was clearly made for straight people) to distract you all 🥴 by ShotsFired in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lmao the question about “fantasizing” about the opposite sex’s clothing... unless were talking formal events men’s clothes are just regular clothes... i own many things from the “men’s” section (although i cant get my hips into men’s pants, and they’re not even all that big...)

Moderators . Why did you delete a political discussion? Are lesbians not allowed to have different opinions and ideas? by Anniesworld in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like that post was supposed to be inflammatory... The election is a pretty touchy subject here I guess, makes sense when you’re picking between 2 candidates that haven’t done a whole lot of anything for women.

What did y’all have for dinner tonight? Does anyone here like to cook? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I like cooking. I don’t really meal prep, but there’s usually leftovers to eat. I didn’t make much today because I don’t feel great, just mac and cheese and “pigs in a blanket” (mini sausages wrapped in little bread rolls). I’m in college, I don’t usually do anything fancy lol. I like baking more than cooking, I made king cake recently, which is a mardi gras thing. Everyone says to just go buy one because they’re hard to bake, but that just convinced me more that I wanted to bake my own...

Lesbians who voted for Biden/Harris by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 14 insightful - 6 fun14 insightful - 5 fun15 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Neither candidates give a shit about women but at least under Biden the government acknowledges climate change is real again.

Lesbians who hike by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I hike at state parks in my area, most of the year since I live in a relatively warm climate. I usually bring my camera and take pictures, I love nature photography.

Going on a date by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Depends on the weather and the covid rates/what is open and safe in your area. Is it warm enough to picnic?

Are you politically involved by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I follow politics because I feel like I have to. I live in the US, and politics have been really intense for a long time. I actually avoid talking about lesbian/gay issues because gender always comes up and I don’t exactly agree with the general liberal consensus on it right now, and I don’t currently feel like being excommunicated. I have somehow landed myself in a social circle full of people who are very defensive about their gender identities, so I don’t think I would be able to express my point without being seen as intentionally malicious. I don’t have much of a choice who I associate with, we’re all in the same extracurricular in college. I spend a lot of time talking about other issues in politics, like wealth inequality. Recently I’ve spent a lot of time debating against the idea that the southern US is the problem, (as if we’re some kind of evil monolith? What?) as opposed to the whole US being the problem...

To be a parent by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’ve always wanted to adopt, but I’m not sure if I actually will. I’m still not really old enough to be a mom, I’m 21. I have a while to figure it out I guess, but I’m not sure I’d be any good at parenting. I’m basically always zoned out, probably not great for watching out for kids, lol.

I came across an account on twitter asking lesbians to post their comp-het crushes and women are posting pics of men they drool over. How do you all feel about this? by Wot in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like i’ve experienced comphet, but I wouldn’t call it a crush... more of a justification when i was younger to try and give men a chance. It didn’t work obviously. If you actually feel attracted to a man, it’s not comphet, you’re just bi. And its fine to be bi, but its not fine to use lesbians descriptors for our experiences when they don’t really apply to you. I assumed I liked men when I first started dating, every girl is supposed to like men and I didn’t hate them, so I figured I wasn’t a lesbian. It wasn’t until I actually started feeling attracted to girls that I realized that while I didn’t hate men, I didn’t want them in that way either. I feel like it can be fairly useful to explain why sometimes women try to date men, sometimes even for a long time, before realizing that they don’t actually feel any attraction to them. I typed way more than I meant to... I just really hate the appropriation of terms that only make sense in their original context.

Body type? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m relatively thin and athletic, about 5’8. I like women with similar bodies to mine but I’m not too picky. I’ve always wanted to date someone taller than me but I’ve actually never met any lesbians taller than me. I don’t think 5’8 is even very tall ? I feel average-ish lol

I feel that people expect lesbians to fight for every social issue, as if gay rights isn’t already it’s own social issue... (a petty rant about twitter politics) by Lesbianvodkaaunt in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I understand being upset at the lack of representation, but why be aggressive at random women online about it? We do not control the casting directors.

I feel that people expect lesbians to fight for every social issue, as if gay rights isn’t already it’s own social issue... (a petty rant about twitter politics) by Lesbianvodkaaunt in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Haven’t watched it, google says “ A Yuletide angel shows a bride what could have been if she had followed her secret feelings for her best friend.”

I believe it follows the two women (who I guess are bisexual, they are romantically involved in the movie), but it does follow them with men first in the exposition, not sure how long since I haven’t watched it yet. People are saying it’s not as well produced as other christmas movies, which is true, but it is a step for representation. I think it hasn’t been as well promoted because it was released at the same time as happiest season, which had a bigger budget for production and advertising.

I feel that people expect lesbians to fight for every social issue, as if gay rights isn’t already it’s own social issue... (a petty rant about twitter politics) by Lesbianvodkaaunt in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly! If you want diversity lift up diverse movies and shows instead of tearing down something else.

Ellen Page is now Elliot Page by lmaonope333 in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Ok that’s what I’ve been thinking tbh. Don’t care what they call themselves I just wanna know if they’re gonna keep playing their role on Umbrella Academy...

Thoughts on “Happiest Season”? by Lesbianvodkaaunt in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I don’t think I would’ve gotten back with Harper. Closeted to your parents I can understand, but why not turn down the ex boyfriend? You don’t even have to come out for that, just say no thanks and move along. Definitely would’ve just left the party with the other girl.

Keira Bell win by HelloMomo in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Puberty blockers banned for under 16s in the UK unless approved by a judge.

I'm tired of not having any lesbian friends and I'm tired of my generation by cinnamonstick in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m 21 and in college, and all the people I thought were lesbians that I might’ve dated have come out as nonbinary... and I don’t really want to be involved in that political nonsense. I’ve been making excuses as to why I don’t date but they’re not really making sense anymore since it’s been a little too long for me to still be hung up on my last relationship lol. I genuinely don’t think I know more than 5 lesbians though and I’m counting all of the hundreds of people I’ve met from being in college.

What was your worst date experience? by fieryoyster in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Summer after I graduated high school, I had been talking to this girl from school on and off, and we had been on one or two dates. It wasn’t exactly a date but we were out with a group of friends at an open mic night, at a local coffee shop. A bunch of people sing songs or do poetry or whatever. My dates ex, who she had a rough break up with was there. My ex was also there, yikes. My dates ex starts reading some poems and then she says “This one’s about my ex” she points to her and goes “Hi (girl’s name)”. Apparently she read this poem earlier too, and just decided to read it again for us so we could hear it. As it turns out, my dates coworker was there. Her friend, a lesbian, noticed my date because she was pointed out, so she comes and introduces herself and gives my date her number. Not that weird, right? Wrong. This girl has the exact same name as me, same hair color, same hobbies, and oddly enough we have relatively similar chronic illnesses. It was... uncanny but the girl I was with said not to worry about her. Like a week later the new girl asked her out and she said yes... they’re still dating years later.

Being left for a girl with the same name as me is tied with one other shitty date though. I met a girl through a mutual friend. The date was boring, we hung out at some park (we were 17ish) and then we hung out in her room and watched netflix. Maybe she was expecting something else to happen but I don’t do sex on first dates. Anyway I decided not to see this girl again, and she decided it was a sign that no one would ever love her and she tried to kill herself. I felt bad for her but damn that’s not my fault.

When did you know you were a lesbian? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I always thought girls were pretty, and I couldn’t understand why other girls were always talking about boys. I pretended to have a crush on a guy I was friends with in elementary school because my friends told me I had to have a crush on a guy. It totally fucked up our friendship. In 7th grade a girl my age moved in next door. I liked her but I didn’t know it then, so I just tried to be like her. She came out as bisexual, and I thought maybe I was bisexual too. I stuck with that for about a year or so. I dated a guy at the beginning of 9th grade and he was nice but I couldn’t figure out why I still just felt like we were friends. Around this time I started actually feel attracted to girls. (Before puberty I just thought they were pretty, and I was sort of a late bloomer). I came out as a lesbian around 15. I guess I knew I liked girls a long time before I knew I didn’t like boys the same way. I just thought other girls were weirdly obsessed with them. I always felt different though, so I guess being a lesbian affected my life before I even knew what a lesbian was, lol.

Current archive of my post on r/reclassified about TL. I figured I would put it here so we can talk about it without giving TRAs the satisfaction. by annatheginguh in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Putting aside this person’s horrible run on sentence, if I have to fuck someone for them to feel valid then I am simply not interested in making them feel valid.

Never forget that we're taco-havers that only wants other taco-havers. by Kimaris in Lesbians

[–]Lesbianvodkaaunt 10 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I can’t tell which side made this but I want tacos now