DiscussionHow did you discover you were homo/bisexual?

submitted by indeepshadowsBi woman from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]midnight305 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (23 children)

After being raped and subconsciously forced to date men because of my family values I discovered I was a lesbian because i never liked male parts.

It's also kept me from getting a partner because so far the only lesbians I've meet online has been gold stars and they dony want a tainted woman sadly.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Are you kidding? I'm a gold star but who gives a fuck about past experiences. The only woman I've loved since now, was bisexual.

[–]midnight305 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Be nice if it didn't matter. But most that have hit on me usually stop talking to me because of me sleeping with a guy before and never being with a woman before.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm also a gold star and I've never gave a crap. I mean, I did kiss a boy at 9 but at the time I didn't have sexual feelings at all (towards anyone) and me and the boy were freaking 9 years old 😅 I never "count" this experience because I didn't know anything about love and sex at the time (particularly sex).

[–]midnight305 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

If it doesn't matter then why do they keep passing me up ? It's why I feel tainted .

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think you were unlucky OR they're pass you up of other reasons.

[–]midnight305 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No reason really. Other than blocking cunts that sends me nudes.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 13 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

You aren't tainted, do not think like that. Nothing can "taint" woman body. It is very misogynic stereotype about women, and in our lands women were killed or outcasted for "being tainted". If their husband dies - they were outcasted, if they were rape victim or had a lover - they were executed as "tainted" (and there was tradition to cut their hair very short after execution was canceled). So it is wrong to think like that about yourself, because you aren't. And if someone saying about your body being wrong - just say to them to f*ck off.

I hated my body too many years for all the scars, for my red-hair, for my poor health condition. And now I love myself, because it is my body and it is who I am. If someone don't like - it is their problems, not mine.

[–]midnight305 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Thank you . It means a lot to me. It's hard not to think that way growing up hearing it after being raped and then hearing it from women just made it worse.

It means a lot to me to hear you and others say I'm not tainted it gives me hope.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It is all mostly came from hymen myths and men trying to control women sexuality - so they can have sex with anyone, and then can chose when and what woman can have sex and with whom exactly. So all this "tainted" lie is all about not letting women, and you among us, to live happy life and do with your body whatever you like. So be free, my girl, ignore those who want to control your life, and live happy life like you want it to be!

And before realizing I am lesbian, I was married for 3 years and hard tried to like a man and to enjoy sex with them, but nothing was working. I never had problems with that with lesbians later, and when someone is asking "I will only be in relationship with golden star" - this girl is a douche and not deserving attention anyways.

[–]midnight305 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks that means a lot to me

[–][deleted] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I don’t know what people you’re meeting, but unless you’re actively dating and sleeping with men and calling yourself a lesbian, there is no way the majority of lesbians would refuse to date you. It’s super rare to be a goldstar. I am, but I am in a minority.

Also: women do not consider “rape” as having SEX with a man, rape is rape. If someone is telling you that being raped has tainted you then they are an asshole. Lord.

[–]midnight305 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

To many on the internet I never actually meet any in real life cuz they all stood me up.

Meet one, but just friends from a college group I joined. So that's about it.

Would love to meet more women .

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Ain't nuthin' "tainted" about you; you're a PERSON, not some contaminated thing, like tinned meat gone bad!

And anyone who'd reject you for having suffered the traumas of rape and comp-het isn't worth dating anyway.

[–]midnight305 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Thank you.

Its so hard trying to find anyone in this fuckrd up world anymore.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You're most welcome :)

And yeah... it is. Though to be honest?

Kinda think 'twas ever thus, you know? Like the saying goes: "A good man [or woman of course] is hard to find."

But if these lesbians are turning up their noses at any woman who (horrors!) isn't a "gold star", then you must be far from alone, right? That means other women are out there, looking. The non-gold-stars.

So forget the snooty gold-stars. Look for the non-gold-stars like you, who are looking, too.

And maybe you'll find your "anyone" there. And find that you're her "anyone", too. :)

[–]midnight305 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I hope so I been trying for 10 years now.

Mostly all i get is disgusting nudes , people asking me to come to their house alone at night , or people yelling at me about how transphobic I am because I have " real women only please " and " no couples," on my dating profile because I got sick of guys and couple traffic.

Like I'm not stupid enough to go to someone's house alone again . It's how I got raped in the first place . But that's how people meet anymore and it makes me super fucking uncomfortable.

Not sure about other states, but Kentucky, wv, and ohio they dont want to meet in public and just expect you to come to their house.

So me saying no turns people away too.

I mean ....I dont know what to do I want to meet people but it has to be a public place ....

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Oh man, that's so rough. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope you'll have better luck with dating in the future.

[–]midnight305 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's ok. I just with trans would leave us alone so I can find someone. You know?

[–]Lapis_Lazuli 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

"Gold star" lesbian here, and I don't care about anyone's gold star. I don't want to date women who are Kinsey 2 bisexuals looking to have some fun before they settle down with Mr. Right, but I certainly don't think of women who have been with men as "tainted." This is true even if we're talking about women who were with men 100% voluntarily and enjoyed it, but the fact you were raped just made makes the situation even sadder. I'm really sorry that the community has made you feel like you're not good enough, because that's not the case at all.

[–]midnight305 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you.

Yeah I've always said I hate being a lesbian because women hate me. But from the comments it just looks like it was a bunch of bitches trolling me.

I appreciate you and thr others kind words.

I been soi depressed here lately that its how I feel anymore about myself. Like I'll never be good enough.