If a girl likes "boy activities" like jumping and running around, she's trans

submitted by WildApples from self.GenderCritical

I came across this Blaire White video "I'm Transgender & So Is My 5 Year Old", and I was so disgusted by what some parents are doing to their children. Around 2:37 Blaire shows a clip of a TiM explaining that the little girl beside him feels like a boy and tells her that means she is transgender. How can this child form her own sense of identity when she has an authority figure telling her who she is as early as the age of five?

But what really killed me is the example he used to demonstrate her trans identity. He asked her, "Do you like quiet girly activities or do you like jumping around, being crazy, and tackling everybody?" Sure, that question is definitely not loaded in any way... The girl hesitates like she is torn between knowing she is a girl but also knowing that she likes the latter activities and then answers "boy activities."

WTF? All kids like running around and being physically activity. That is not a boy thing. This poor girl is going to be so confused for no good reason because she has a parent pressuring her to ID as trans. That seems psychologically abusive. We finally made it to the point where society recognized that boys and girls can do anything they want regardless of sex, and just like that we whiplashed back to telling children they can only do one or the other. So much for non-binary.

And how the heck are we supposed to take this TiM's claim of feeling like a woman seriously if he does not even know enough about being female to know that young girls also do "boy activities"? What exactly are "quiet girly activities"? Perhaps he thinks young girls just sit around all day with their hands in their laps waiting to be spoken to. Craziness.

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[–]persistentlywoman 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

this is so absolutely sick to me and hits a little too close to home.

my amazingly vibrant, active, adventurous 9 year old niece is already too well aware of the enormous pressures put on women, expressed through repeated declarations that she's not going to have a husband or kids. recently, I overheard an exchange between her and my nephew where he said "I thought you wanted to be a boy?" and she replied "I do". when I heard this, my heart sank straight into my stomach. I know exactly what she meant - little girls have been saying they want to be boys since forever, because they can see boys have more freedom, even just the freedom to keep running around shirtless (which she is no longer allowed to do). they can see boys don't have as many expectations placed on them, not so much pressure. but in today's world, this perfectly normal time-true expression of little girls resisting the restrictions of misogyny and sexism would be immediately pounced on and exploited as a trans narrative if she had any people like that in her life. thank god she doesn't - but I have no idea how safe she'll be at school or once she starts using the internet. this insane and extreme binary is pure poison to a child's mind and the pathway of surgery and drugs that follows is something I wouldn't want anyone I love to have to endure. this movement has distorted itself beyond all ethical consideration. they won't get my niece.

[–]MarkTwainiac 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

they can see boys don't have as many expectations placed on them, not so much pressure.

Sorry, I think you and your niece are not seeing the full picture here. Sexist people who stereotype others tend to be sexist and stereotyping to/of male and female children alike. So a lot of boys do have many expectations and a good deal of pressure put on them too. The expectations are different, but they are definitely there.

little girls have been saying they want to be boys since forever, because they can see boys have more freedom, even just the freedom to keep running around shirtless (which she is no longer allowed to do).

I don't think children of either sex are always the best judges of what's going on, so I wouldn't put too much stock into the perceptions and assumptions that little girls - or little boys - have about what it's like to grow up as a member of the opposite sex. The focus on "running around shirtless" is telling - once again, sex stereotypes that children get hung up are so much about clothing.

To me, the more fundamental issue is whether a child has the freedom to go "running around" in the first place, not what the child might be wearing, or not wearing, whilst doing so or not doing so. And the fact is, just as adults put many constraints on girls' behaviors, they do the same to boys too. For every boy today who is allowed to run amok, be boisterous, physically active and aggressive coz "boys will be boys" and "that's how boys are," there's another boy who's been put on ADHD drugs and other medications to get him to sit still - and who's been shamed, hit and punished for being "too active," "too antsy" and "too aggressive."

The grass on the other side of the sex divide isn't always as green as it seems when viewed from the other side by someone only aware of, and looking for, the plusses. Also, the sort of black-and-white thinking that portrays one sex as having it totally tough and the other sex as living on free-and-easy street with no sexist pressures or expectations placed on them is the very reason "trans" has become such a huge craze amongst young people today.

[–]persistentlywoman 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

don’t fucking lecture a total stranger you know NOTHING about her or her family. what is WRONG with you? where’s your compassion and empathy?? why can’t you just let a woman speak her experience without having to tell her she’s wrong for what she identifies as part of it? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? honestly, this was such a nasty and condescending way to reply to me sharing a personal experience and really fucking presumptuous to boot. I grasp the situation just fine. I focused on the elements relevant to my anecdote. I didn’t need to also detail what I witness being inhibited in my nephew to prove to some internet stranger I “get it” sufficiently to focus on what misogyny and sexism does to girls. being snooty on the internet doesn’t make you a superior person. THIS ISNT A DEBATE SUB. have some respect for other women and try not to assume too much about what we think feel know or experience just because I didn’t add a fucking zillion caveats to my post. let women express our distress and trauma without detailing it.

also stay invested in the myth girls don’t have it harder... like denying reality helps anyone. male privilege still be very real.

edited to remove excessive swearing.

[–]persistentlywoman 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I can see from your comment history you have a vested need to challenge others and leverage a false intellectual superiority over them. perhaps this is the way you deal with your own internalised misogyny, I don’t care - you can keep it away from me, thanks. it’s not your job to run around correcting women and girls on how we parse our experiences of misogyny and sexism, especially if your view is that other women and girls must always be stupider than you.

[–]WildApples[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I know what you mean. One time on the subway I saw a mother with two children, a boy and a girl. Both the children stood up on the seat and turned around to look out the window, and the mother became angry at the girl only and yelled at her she that could not do that because she was a girl, she was wearing a dress, etc. I was so sad for her because her mother instilled such a sense of shame in her just for being female and sent the message that you can have more freedom as a boy.

[–]persistentlywoman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

THIS is exactly what I'm referring to. thank you. I can already see how other adults appeal to her be better behaved than her brother on the basis she's a girl and more sensible and mature. she's 9!!! just let her be. thank goodness none of the family are hung up on extremely strict gender roles, but it filters in from the outside. it's already inhibited my nephew's freedom of expression because of what he now thinks boys 'can't' do and that hurts. I am so proud of my 72 yo father who recently let my nephew put lipstick on him to show him it was okay for boys to do. I just want them both to be their own free, unpoliced, individual selves and this world just won't let them.

[–]persistentlywoman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

now I think of it, I'm also very glad my SIL has always dressed her in pants for the very reason that it allows her total freedom to move around and play.

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

mother became angry at the girl only and yelled at her she that could not do that because she was a girl, she was wearing a dress, etc. I was so sad for her because her mother instilled such a sense of shame in her just for being female and sent the message that you can have more freedom as a boy.

That mother sucks and has spoiled her son. Kids shouldn't be standing in their seat on public transport (inconsiderate to everyone else who needs to use the seat, and the transport company needs to maintain the seats), also why just the daughter? Are girls meant to be polite and considerate whereas boys are meant to be more rambunctious and annoying little shits? All kids need to be polite and considerate regardless of sex. I'm not surprised if this is why majority of the bullies that I have dealt with are males. I'm not kidding, I did a count about how many people have treated me poorly and the level of severity, females dislike me and generally try to avoid me or use passive aggressive tactics (which I really could not care about as long as it doesn't affect my schooling), males decide to see me as a target to villify (more often than the females) as a sociopolitical way to gather a bunch of other useless male followers (they raised an army, against one girl, who does not have many friends, much less dependable friends who will stick up for her) they behave pretty damn aggressive and affected my schooling.

[–]Greykittymomma 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

So much this. They can't tell you what makes them a boy or girl without stereotypes dripping out of their mouths.

[–]Kai_Decadence 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It would be so funny if Blaire ever gets into another "debate" and the person asks him how he knew he was a woman? I wonder what he'd say lol. I don't think he's ever fully explained why he thinks he's a woman, "Trans woman".

[–]usehername 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

In this video, Blaire advocates for gender roles and says they're important.

[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (12 children)

Of course he says that. He knows that gender roles are what keep people thinking that he himself is a delicate woman and not some feminine man in long hair extensions.

God I'm just remembering when he did that video titled "Living As a Man for a Day" or some title like that and it was so insipid. Aside from him having his acrylic nails still on, he didn't know how to pump gas, carry a pail of paint (or something I can't remember what was in it but they went to Home Depot for it), shoot a gun, and drink beer. It all just screamed "Teehee, I'm a delicate little woman see? I can't do this "man stuff"" lol.

[–]usehername 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

That video is suggested to me a lot, but I only now was able to bring myself to watch it and holy shit; I had no idea Blaire lived that way. I felt bad for him; his boyfriend seems very controlling. "He doesn't let me drive our car." But Blaire just thinks that's how women should live, and since he believes he is a woman, he accepts that for himself. But yeah the video was extremely misogynistic.

[–]Kai_Decadence 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Hm I didn't get that impression the first time I watched it lol I just assumed that Blaire was overrexagerating certain things like not being able to pump gas into a car or carrying the pail can. But this was all before he did that video where we learned more about Joey and I think you're probably right that Joey is very controlling. Either way though, the video was dumb and I felt nausea watching it. It just screamed "trying too hard". And yeah, misogynistic implying that women can't do the so called "manly" things that Joey had him do.

[–]usehername 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yeah, Blaire's always had that extremely feminine affect even before he "transitioned" (I take issue with that word but whatever), but that video was over-the-top.

It just screamed "trying too hard". And yeah, misogynistic implying that women can't do the so called "manly" things that Joey had him do.

I agree. It was ridiculous. But again, I feel bad for him. Joey probably treats him like that so that he can still feel like a "man" even though he's bi. He's homophobic and claims to be straight.

[–]Kai_Decadence 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Haha right. I'm more than sure that he was the super effeminate gay boy in high school (you know the ones) after seeing what he looked like high school. And the voice he puts on, to me it doesn't sound like a woman's, it sounds like a flamboyant man's. I mean good for him that he didn't have to do much to change it but still lol.

I agree. It was ridiculous. But again, I feel bad for him. Joey probably treats him like that so that he can still feel like a "man" even though he's bi. He's homophobic and claims to be straight.

Agreed. As annoying as I think Blaire is with his "Not like other trans" shtick, I can see that Joey probably isn't helping and is taking advantage of Blaire's low self-esteem and for that, even though I've not gone through this, I sympathize with him as a fellow feminine gay man because I know he must've had a rough dating life as most of us feminine gay men tend to have since most gay men are not attracted to feminine guys and I think that's why Blaire sticks with Joey despite his controlling and somewhat toxic nature. Because he thinks Joey is the best he can do.

[–]usehername 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

the voice he puts on, to me it doesn't sound like a woman's, it sounds like a flamboyant man's

Agreed. Clocked him right away because of it. Also, I agree with your whole paragraph about Joey. I've seen it happen to a friend. Sad :/ Thanks for your insight.

[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm glad it's not just me. I hear so many people say that Blaire sounds like a woman and I'm like "Are you serious? Have you not hung around flamboyant gay men?" lol Same with that Samantha Lux person who's been getting popular as well. The voices just sound put on.

And you're welcome!

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

not being able to pump gas into a car

That was not an exaggeration?! I would believe it if he wasn't sure that he needs to push a button on the refueling station (we don't have those in Australia, it's grab the correct hose and just pull the trigger), but the next part seem so ridiculous that I thought it was faked.

Note: To clarify, I meant I understand if it's uncommon in America, I know we don't have those in Australia.

Edit: Clarification

[–]Kai_Decadence 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not sure if he was exaggerating or not but it was equally stupid because you just know he was overdoing it to appear more "girly". "Teehee see?? I'm not good at doing any of this "MAN" stuff so how could I not be a woman??" It was nauseating.

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It was stupid and a bit insulting, my sister who is way more feminine than me, she can renovate nearly the entire house. We're talking, take out built-in wardrobes and install new shelves in their places, create new shelves from scratch, wire the house to support a security recording system, change the ceiling insulation, detail a car etc. I helped, but it's really help her support an item while she is screwing in a screw, give her tools, moving items into place and clean up. These things, most men can't even do. She's your typical straight feminine lady, she's not stupid.

[–]Kai_Decadence 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Exactly and it was more asinine how some of the comments left on that video were validating his sexist actions and how much of a woman he really is and I'm just like, are you people fucking high? It was especially jarring when it came from women.

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I remember I left a comment "whip your dick out" or something like that, surprisingly no one accused me of transphobia (last time I checked), or even laughed, it's the most man thing a man can do. I think I saw someone else make a comment of that nature too but no one responded (also last time I checked). Majority were validating his actions, but thankgod, some of the comments pointed out the absurdity.

Interestingly, I haven't seen him attempt "girl" hobbies aside from looking pretty.

I don't hate White, but I respect him for calling out other BS, but for godsake, why does he need to be deluded about his gender?

[–]Kai_Decadence 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I haven't looked back on that video since the month he posted it because I could not take the seemingly endless ass kissing and shallow gratification they were pumping into his ego but if some people are calling out how absurd he was being in recent years since that video is kinda old now, good on them.

I don't hate White either, at the most I just find him a narcissistic attention whore and while it's nice that he calls out AGP BS, I know that he's only doing it to keep attention away from himself via not having people question his "woman-ness". Eugh.

[–]WildApples[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I got so upset after the part I saw that I stopped watching and immediately came here to rant.

[–]Mermer 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh for fuck's sake. "Person not a boy" ARE YOU SUGGESTING MEN AND WOMEN AREN'T PEOPLE?