Majority of yaoi is written by women for women, so those men you are seeing there have nothing to do with a real men, they are just a fantasies of a perfect men in the eyes of the woman. Many yaoi main heroes are created with feminine traits to be as "self insert" for readers, so they are specifically made to act and be like women for readers to identify with them (same trick is used in many manga or anime, but in most cases for men to self insert into heroes). I am saying this to you as an experienced double your age gay man, who checked a lot of gay media, including yaoi, and who know a lot of gay men in real life.

It scares away the few people who might had interest in getting to know me romantically.

That is sad side effect of gender ideologists, they are trying so hard with all those pronounces and gay/lesbian conversion therapies, that casual people when meeting someone who is saying to them anything related to this, may run away thinking "I don't need those problems with mispronouncing and other weird stuff".

and can't afford therapy

That can be for the better, as it can ruin your body and life, if it is not necessity for you. And if you are not feeling need in transition, it will not help (only at first it will feel a bit better, because testosterone has anti-depressant effects, until you get used to it). For some people transition may help and will help, but those people are in the minority (by UK statistics it is 5000 transsexuals out of 500 000 transgenders in the UK).

I helped my friend with her volunteer help to PCOS organizations, and some women there were who were taking testosterone for one or another reason, so I've seen how it can be dangerous and cause life-long irreversible effects.

I feel lonely and unable to voice my concerns

Nowadays it is a "new norm", as gender ideologists are cancelling everyone who are at slightest not repeating what they are saying (they are canceling even their own transgenders). Especially hard it is for lesbians.

We had similar situation previously (but with imprisonment or death penalty laws in addition) for LGB people, 25-35 years ago in many countries. It is sad that current LGBTQ+ is acting just like those homophobic people of the past, and acting against their own kind, against people who they are supposed to defend.

friends

Are they trans? If not, you can try to explain, but it can be hard with all this misinformation spreaded by gender activist groups.