I too was robbed of a normal life, or normal for me. But the silver lining is that it made me realize just how evil the matrix is, and I'm waking up from the tricks that authority and society and ultimately the archons use to keep us unaware and stuck in the vicious cycle of what this world calls life. And they do this because they love power and are sadists who enjoy watching us in pain. Most people are basically NPCs to me now. Not that I think they actually are, but they act like it because they've been made so dumbed-down and gullible.

And I can't replicate the life and things I wish I did down here in Heaven either.

Why not? That's exactly what the archons want you to think. If it's true that they trick people into reincarnating back into the matrix, your attachment to fulfilling a certain kind of life here will easily let them lure you in by promising that to you (and they'll most likely break it so they can keep doing it over and over again).

And don't be fooled, the archons have always controlled the world. And all the people in power are either NPCs or worship Satan, because the archons aren't going to let anyone who won't carry out their will have power. They pull all the strings and it has been that way for all of history. Even the fundamental laws of this world are evil, making this existence itself evil. Everything is based on domination. Might is right, and the weak suffer horrors. And not only that, but might requires evil and selfishness and hatred, and good requires weakness sacrifice and persecution. And now we can prove that the church is apostasized and comitted to this world, because they are obsessed with might and hate weakness. They dismiss almost all of Christ's teachings, calling them weak. I'm dumbfounded as to why they haven't rejected and hated him, as they surely would've joined the people of the first century in doing, since they oppose almost everything he says. Instead they cherry-pick Satanic lies from the excess of fraudulent scriptures they've imported over the millenia. I suppose their concept of "God" is really a cult symbol for whatever crusade they're involved in, as is the case in most religions. And I also suppose that the archons need some people slandering and blasphememing him so that others who could potentially wake up never learn the truth. And they also impersonate the true God so that even believers are tricked into doing their bidding and accepting the matrix. They deceive with authority and society, with false visions and dreams and miracles and magic and spirits, with tunnels of light and golden staircases and "heaven" and fake encounters with deceased loved ones and even God himself.

Blessed are you when the sons of Man come after you and when they insult you and say all bad about you for the sake of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and be happy, because your payment is very great in Heaven. Their ancestors went after the prophets because of this.