Yes, biological lesbians want your graphic descriptions of loving how men moan. 'I’ve started to become aroused by men. Can I still be considered a lesbian? : BiologicalLesbians'

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[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 10 fun22 insightful - 9 fun23 insightful - 10 fun -  (1 child)

Just go find a butch trans women like the rest of the bisexuals who call themselves lesbians.

I actually laughed out loud at this comment.

[–]lovelyspearmint[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I mean, she's not wrong. OP will get everything she wants in a neat little package.

[–]TalerTest 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (17 children)

That mod Damp-Wallaby is like:

Just have fun, be safe, and explore your sexuality. Sexuality is a spectrum and don’t feel the need to label yourself, you are who you are. In the end it’s what you want and nothing else

Sigh. Why is she even enabling this stupidity. And why is this straight/bi girl so desperate to call herself a lesbian when she knows that she isn't? I just don't get it. What is the point in calling yourself a lesbian when all your actions contradict that??? It's like they are in love with the word "lesbian" or something wtf

[–]lovelyspearmint[S] 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

The mod isn't the best. She allows these things so that the sub doesn't get called transphobic, and there was a 14 year old MtF that used to police the posts and threaten contacting Reddit's mods for a while until they grew tired of it.

I guess she doesn't want to admit she's bi, idk? A ton of people fetishise lesbians, and this is yet another example. If you find men sexually attractive, you're not a lesbian in any way, shape or form.

[–]TalerTest 11 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 7 fun -  (8 children)

I get the feeling that the mods are teenagers. I mean... wtf. Well r/BiologicalLesbians is still infinitely superior to r/Actuallesbians. Not that that's saying much.

[–]lovelyspearmint[S] 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

Yeah, teenagers who think lesbians dynamics are the same as those in gay fanfiction, where at least top and bottom makes a bit more sense.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

is that where they're getting it from ?? that's so weird.

[–]lovelyspearmint[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I'm only guessing, but where else would they get it from? Maybe straight people trying to normalise straight sexual dynamics in lesbians? What I find interesting is that too and bottom was never used until the TQ crowd started to butt into lesbian culture, so maybe it's the influence of transbians convincing younger, inexperienced lesbians that top and bottom is a lesbian thing?

It's all just speculation on my part, but that's all I can think of.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Yeah I'd heard of it in the gay community as slang for who likes to penetrate / be penetated, but then a couple of years ago lesbians started using it which confused me because we don't have dicks. People now seem to be adding a submissive / dominant dynamic to it which plays out like a man / woman dynamic in a heterosexual relationship... which is both sexist and homophobic to assume all lesbians will fall into this dynamic.

[–]Hydiee 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

when you say lesbians started using top and bottom are you referring to real life or the internet? I've never encountered lesbians who use those terms IRL. I'm convinced it's just a stupid thing that teens/clueless virgins do online, many of whom are not even lesbians.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Internet!!!! Specifically actuallesbians when I used to hang out there a couple of years ago. And yes, someone talking about 'bottom energy' irl would be an absolute clown.

Edit: oh and youtubers. There were a two women who would have conversations about lesbian stuff and that's where I heard it not just on actuallesbians. I was surprised because they weren't internet randoms.

[–]piylot 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've found it leaking into the real world too

[–]lovelyspearmint[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It always reminds me of that question that people used to ask lesbians: "So, who's the man in the relationship?"

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I dunno. The OP doesn't sound like a teenager, but if they were a teenager I probably wouldn't want to say much more than 'lesbians are attracted to women only and not men, go and find out for yourself, love is love, stay safe (and don't go talking to adults on the internet about sex!!)'. I am personally really uncomfortable with the way online forums enable teens to talk about their sexuality and gender with people who are potentially not teenagers. Like, one of the mods on AL (a transwoman in a poly relationship with other transwomen and a man) is a diaper, furry fetishist who's married to a man who is sexually attracted to minors (among other things). God knows who is going to be answering their questions or using this as a way to engage in talking to young kids about their sexuality. https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/ashton-challenor-the-boy-who-disappeared

[–]TalerTest 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

go and find out for yourself, love is love, stay safe (and don't go talking to adults on the internet about sex!!)

I don't think teenagers would respond to that. It would sound too patronizing because most teens think of themselves as adults.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah. It worries me but I wouldn't know how to fix this. I really think teenagers should just be discussing these things with trusted adults or peers their own age. Like this is from a quick browse of AL. There's this crap thread with people suggesting she's a 'bottom' or 'submissive' or that she should try 'aftercare' https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/juxbku/my_girlfriend_used_a_strap_on_on_me_and_now_i/ . This one is fishing for information about high-school sexual experiences https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/juwk12/first_kiss_first_relationship_first_experience/ . I mean, they could all be well-intentioned, but it would be easy enough for someone who is a creep to have a grand old time in these places. But I'm 25. I can guarantee that anyone my age or older who wants to engage with minors in a discussion about sex/sexuality either doesn't know that they're a minor, or is a creep.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

one of the mods on AL (a transwoman in a poly relationship with other transwomen and a man) is a diaper, furry fetishist who's married to a man who is sexually attracted to minors (among other things)

What the hell? AL is a sub FULL of teens. Reddit's so concerned with banning true lesbian subs, but lets this crap happen?

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes. It makes me feel sick. Adults are free to explore their weird fetishes with each other, but no way should anyone with these sorts of attractions to children / infants or minors— or just a poor sense of sexual boundaries in general; be anywhere near teens. I went through the mod in question's history and found these gems https://www.reddit.com/r/TransDIY/comments/6bb0ua/i_am_trying_to_help_a_uk_trans_girl_just_starting/ and https://www.reddit.com/r/ainbow/comments/683vuv/green_party_wants_trans_kids_to_have_right_to/ and https://www.reddit.com/r/mylittlepony/comments/4luyho/i_was_rewatching_say_goodbye_to_the_holiday_when/ and https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/96ld21/lgbt_is_not_now_or_ever_will_be_accepting/ The last one is there to show that they're a massive hypocrite.

And look, I don't know what to say. If I could change this I would. I would kick the mods out, and have educational programs in schools about how groomers operate online and that it's not appropriate to talk about sexuality / gender with an adult. I want to shake some sense into the pro-kink idiots online who tell (kids) that kinks are fine and dandy, because when someone has abnormal sexual interests you have to treat them with extra caution just to keep yourself safe.

But I'm probably just yelling into the void here.

[–]windrunner 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They somehow think being a lesbian is something "special". Also, whenever I see questions like that "am I a lesbian?" "Can I be a lesbian" etc they always end up NOT being lesbians with people who also aren't lesbians confirming that yes the non-lesbians can be lesbians.

[–]Rubyredpython 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

See, this is how we got here in the first place. I can't stand enablers.

No idea. I can't wait for straight and bi women to find another fad to obsess over.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]lovelyspearmint[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    The worst part is that guys will soon start to think that lesbians are genuinely open to men, so they won't stop pestering women when they say they're not interested in them because they're lesbians.

    [–]sootsprite 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Guys already think that, though this "bi lesbian" nonsense certainly isn't helping

    [–]FlanJam 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    I don't wanna be too hard on her for asking a dumbass question. At least she stopped to ask. Better than continuing to call herself a lesbian while thirsting for dudes.

    [–]Hydiee 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    You're too nice. I think she's just asking for attention. Like 95% of the people who ask questions about themselves on Reddit.

    [–]FlanJam 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Part of me does think she's a troll or trying to bait lesbians somehow. But people say so much dumb stuff on the internet I can't even tell anymore lol

    [–]lovelyspearmint[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I guess, but she's acting as if bisexuality isn't a well known concept? That her choice is between being a lesbian and straight, so if she still enjoys women, she must be a lesbian, despite her interest in men.

    [–]FlanJam 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yeah, it seems really obvious that she's bi, it weird she'd even need to ask. But I've seen so many dumb ideas spread around the lgbt community (like the bi lesbian stuff), I wouldn't be that surprised if it was a genuine question either. Or she could just be troll, its hard to tell anymore lol