No Country for Gay Men - the transpaign against AskGayBros

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[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 49 insightful - 9 fun49 insightful - 8 fun50 insightful - 9 fun -  (23 children)

Remember, like a year ago, us women were complaining that gay men never have to deal with this shit? Sometimes I wonder if all our whining about this cursed you guys, LOL? Sort of like the evil-eye. If so, sorry...

I wonder what happened in the span of a year that gave all these FTM's all this courage to suddenly demand dick from strange men in such a fashion. Like... You all remember when this was not a thing, right? We were even arm-chair psychiatristing about how women are socialized differently so it would be impossible for FTM to act like this, and.... Wow... how wrong we were...

What changed though? It feels like it all happened so suddenly.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 61 insightful - 1 fun61 insightful - 0 fun62 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

What changed? Basically the ban of GC, truelesbians and LGBDroptheT. They suddenly found themselves with no one to blame on transphobia. As they demand constant attention and validation and are professional victims, they NEED a new target. And now that all women places have been banned or trans infiltrated/dominated, it's time to go after gay men. Theyre just crazy self absorbed people with lots of mental health issues, self hatred and lots of free time on the internet.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 26 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

That's probably what's happened. Also, for many years, gay men have been demonised in woke LGB'TQ' circles for "not being oppressed enough" - but they were too busy focusing on our male privilege to demand we have sex with FTMs.

[–]deliciousdogfoodmy name isnt a puppyplay reference i swear 34 insightful - 10 fun34 insightful - 9 fun35 insightful - 10 fun -  (5 children)

they won their rights from those evil terfs by getting them banned from a shitty political sockpuppet platform on its way out of relevance

now they're taking on those disgusting transphobic faggots who won't worship their bussies uwu uwu uwu

Thankfully however, reddit isn't the real world so their confidence is comically misinformed. The more they push, the more its gonna blow up in their face the moment one of the major news outlets realizes people are dangerously close to waking up to the heinous cult they're complicit in and sets the trend for "exposing" the dark truth of the trans movement.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 27 insightful - 3 fun27 insightful - 2 fun28 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

reddit isn't the real world

I think a lot of us are guilty of forgetting this

[–]deliciousdogfoodmy name isnt a puppyplay reference i swear 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They try very hard to convince us that social media reflects the world. Because the tiny fragment of the world social media captures is all they have.

[–]zephyranthes 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Many politicians answer to social media.

  • Some of them confuse social media for the real world (entertainment execs do - why not politicians?).

  • For the new generation, social media asspats may be the end goal.

  • Political machines are made of tiny people who may not be interested in success, only in keeping their job. "We were following social media trends" may be a good excuse for failure.

[–]Criticallacitirc 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was banned from Gender Cynical for my first and only comment in that sub.

"Imagine thinking what happens on reddit matters in the real world"

[–]ThrowMeAway2879 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

reddit isn't the real world so their confidence is comically misinformed

And I think we ourselves keep forgetting that. But then I look around my RL circle of gay friends and realize that none of them would touch a FTM 'man' with a ten foot pole, regardless of what handmaidens on reddit and twitter claim.

[–][deleted] 34 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 0 fun35 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it’s gone to their head(s). They are flush with their power now. It will never be enough for them. They wiped out gender critical, true lesbians, LGBdrop the T, etc. Calling them hate subs was ridiculous but it’s working for them.

Always looking for new fields to plow and all that.

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Honestly I love it. I mean I don't love that gay dudes are dealing with this shit too now, but I love the way it invalidates TRAs "BUT MUH BRAIN GENDER UWU. I'm suuuch a real woman/man because of -insert behavioral stereotype here-." Now the FtMs are starting to act just as annoying as the MtFs, and in the exact same way. If men and women are so innately different why are trans women and trans men exactly the same when it comes to how they treat lesbians and gays?

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 23 insightful - 4 fun23 insightful - 3 fun24 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

OMG Your username is so hilarious, I can't even concentrate on anything else!!!!!

I've seen the excuse about testosterone causing FTM to become super aggro like this, but I've also seen girls/women who aren't on anything act like super-entitled beasts as well. For example my aunt. She is so aggressive and confrontational all the fucking time and she cannot relax until she makes EvErYoNe around her miserable. She is basically the "It's Ma'am!" guy in female form. It's called having a personality disorder. But even non-personality disordered women can channel their inner tiger and let it roar when they need to.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks! I saw it on twitter and thought it was hilarious. But you're absolutely right about that. There are so many aggressive women out there like your aunt that are constantly poking holes into TRA logic.

[–]8bitgay 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

At least in the gay communities/groups I've been through the years... I dunno, for a long time I felt that some feminist views were having a negative impact in gay groups. Long before trans issues became more proeminent, I constantly saw people starting discussions about how gay men are mysoginistic, how it's bad when gay men say they dislike female genitals, etc. And I remember that a counter argument that progay men often used was in the lines of "if lesbians can say they dislike dick, why can't we say the same for female genitals?". And then people would say it's a false equivalency, that lesbians have more reason to dislike dick, etc. Obviously things have changed now, nowadays so many people say that gays and lesbians who dislike opposite sex genitals are both problematic.

Sometimes people would also start discussions about how straight men can't pleasure women, which for me is absurd because really, I couldn't care less about straight people's sex. I even remember a few times gay men prouding themselves of having done sex with women and pleasuring them better than straight people. Again, this was all before the transmen issue become so proeminent, back then it was more about trying to be feminist in a really weird way, which also aligned to the gay pet (a gay guy who acts like a pet to straight women) mentality.

I also remember 3 years ago making a comment with an old reddit profile saying that pregnancy wasn't a risk for me, since I was gay... And even 3 years ago I remember I got answers mentioning "what if you fall in love with a trans guy???". I had seen some people in LGBT communities saying that gay men have to date trans men before, but for me that was always more of a fringe thing. I think that moment 3 years ago when I made such an innocuous comment and got that type of answer was when I realized this view was getting more and more popular in the community.

My point obviously isn't to compete the suffering of gays and lesbians. I'm just pointing out that the basis for the current situation has been there for years, it didn't just appear in the past few months. And while we support each other, gay men tend to be in gay communities and lesbian women tend to be in lesbian communities (since, you know, we aren't like the TQ+ that tries to take every community they see for themselves) so we often might miss similar things that are happening in the other community.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh! You said "3 years ago" and it reminded me of something. I don't remember which sub it was, or the context, but someone pointed out that on /r/topsandbottoms every once in a while there were "Hi, I'm a transman, am I welcome here?" and "Would you have sex with a transman?" posts, and so many of the replies would be from total randos who never usually comment going "Yes, of course transmen are welcome, a hole is a hole!" and the point of the OP's post was that he thinks the posts and all the comments are all sockpuppet accounts for the same transman with the purpose of normalizing the idea that transmen are an acceptable option for gay/bi men. It was actually one of the incidents that started making me peak towards trans people in general. It couldn't have been droptheT because that sub didn't exist back then, but for the life of me, I can't remember which sub I saw that post in.

[–]8bitgay 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The "am I welcome here?" posts are so bad. I mean, most people on Reddit don't even have pictures. Why ask if you're welcome as a transman in a social platform where people can't even know you're trans unless you mention it?

To expand on my earlier comment (I was kinda in a rush before)

Of course I'm not saying feminism as a whole is bad, but there are many different views that get labeled as feminism. Just like both our pro-LGB views and the TRA are all just "LGBT activism" to the broader society.

I feel like feminism was a more trendy issue years ago, like it was hard to avoid these discussions. And of course it is good in some aspects, but it also created this weird effect in which some gay guys wanted to take part in the feminist conversation and show how evolved they are, and this leaded to what I mentioned earlier. I remember a gay group that I used to be part in a social platform, and after a point they even decided to create days when only women could post (even though it was a gay group and there were only a handful of women who were there just as guests). When you mix internalized homophobia with twisted ideas on feminism, you get this scenario where some gay guys think they're only valid if they're idolizing women while demeaning other men.

Nowadays I'd say the people who adhered to this kind of feminism moved to trans issues, and I can imagine a similar gay group nowadays creating days when only trans people can post.

It wasn't just about feminism and women, though. There's a history, at least in the gay communities I've seen, of acting like we're full of privileges, so somehow we must focus on other causes. It's the whole deal of "gay men are the most racist, mysoginistic, fatphobic group out there". Nowadays they also add transphobic to the mix. In such a scenario, it was quite easy for the TQ+ narrative to spread itself, because it feeds on the internalized homophobia, on the gay guilt of "other causes are more valid than ours", on the idea of "if you don't find X attractive you're Xphobic", etc.

[–]GayNotQueer 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

All well said, and thanks for detailing all that!

I came out in 1980 in Toronto and have seen the exact same things and dynamics.

I think some gay men were traumatized by males in their life when they were children and psychologically aligned with the women, and, even, I have heard some actually say, that they queen it up to he max to make themselves more like their primary role models, women, and to make men in general very uncomfortable (revenge).

Just as there is the concept of "white guilt", I see these men as feeling guilty to their core that they are male, and they adopted women's issues much more than men's. I think they also feel what I will call "privilege guilt", whether real or not, which is easily manipulated by TRAs; further, even that they feel "cis guilt because Ts are so much more oppressed than they", they are told.

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Wow... how wrong we were...

Actually, I don't think people were wrong at all about the gender/sex differences. There absolutely is a socialization component.

The part that people were wrong about was that gay men would never be targeted.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh no, I meant the "it would be impossible for FTM to act like this" part. I'm 40 years old and I'm STILL struggling to fight against the socialization I received as a child. Socialization is a hell of a drug, especially when you're so young and clueless, and the people who are socializing you don't have your best interest at heart and they're actually making you weaker and easier to oppress with everything they're teaching you. I'm actually kind of amazed that nerdy 15 year old girls are able to demand dick from gay men with the confidence of teen movie bad-guy jocks nowadays.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh no, I meant the "it would be impossible for FTM to act like this" part.

Oh, I gotcha, cool :) sometimes I encounter people who deny that socialization is even a thing, so I try to throw a comment or two in edgewise haha.

I'm actually kind of amazed that nerdy 15 year old girls are able to demand dick from gay men with the confidence of teen movie bad-guy jocks nowadays

Haha, yeah I think they are the outliers tbh. Trans people in general are, too-- higher rates of narcissistic personality disorder, for example. You get a large enough sample, you get a few people like that no matter what the age. And in 2020, a transgender "identity" probably looks very attractive to a young adolescent/adult craving social currency.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Although I wonder how that would go down offline and in real life. I think they'd deflate like a popped balloon.

[–]zerosis 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, you're actually right. It really wasn't like this for us (gay men) until VERY recently. There's been a massive change in gay culture this year, and it's turning into an absolute shit show. I'm reeling a bit, to be honest. After a few months of dealing with TRA's fucking EVERYWHERE (and living with the regret that I was one until just recently), I had to step away from the gay community for my own mental health.