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[–]kwallio 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Its an ego boost to be dating in stealth mode. They think they pass so well that their dates don't know that they are trans. The thought process that they might be doing something dangerous or any thought about the feelings of the other person basically doesn't happen, because they are obsessed with their appearance.

There was a post on saidit somewhere, either here on gendercritical or elsewhere where a TIM was on a date with a man and did the big reveal that they were trans and were disappointed and angry that the man said that he knew and accepted the TIM for who he was. He was mad that he didn't pass and didn't get the ego boost of the gasp "but I thought you were totally a woman" experience.

My take on this is that trans people mostly live in a self-created fantasy world, anything that intrudes on this creates huge psychic problems and must be eliminated asap.

You are right that this creates problems for the trans person, because they are addicted to their fetish or preoccupation with passing and thus can't get a true relationship, which has honesty as a foundation. As we've seen with people becoming trans in the context of an already existing relationship, they are just fine with throwing away a long term relationship in service to their trans identity. I don't understand it either but that is what they do.