all 7 comments

[–]Houseplant 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They do not care about the wants, needs, rights, or attraction if the other person. They only care about their own wants and attraction, which they rename their rights.

They want to use a sexual partner as a validating tool, not have a sexual partner to share intimacy or pleasure with.

[–]Omina_Sentenziosa 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They don' t want to be considered a fetish, and that' s what they would be if they went after perverts. The problem is that they are fetishizing regular people in the same way perverts fetishize them.

They don' t care about people' s boundaries and consent, they just want to have their sexual "needs" satisfied, and if that means that someone else has to be violated, so be it.

That safety excuse has never sounded not ridicoulous to me: I might understand being lonely, but it makes no sense to put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation just because you can' t stand not having sex.

Maybe some of them are really that desperate for human contact, but it sounds to me that it' s something they say in order to justify what they do more often than not. The reality, I think, is that most of them know that if they were upfront about their status, the 99,9% of people would turn them down and only perverts and few others would remain interested, but since they feel entitled to have sex, they refuse to disclose and hope that the victim doesn' t realize what is going on long enough to do what they want.

[–]Rationalmind 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I consider the lack of consent to be a major violations of boundaries. Red flag for abusive relationship.

[–]Rage-Xion 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

From what I understand, they want to be validated in their gender identity. For them, "trans" is just an adjective you can put before "woman" like "black", "tall", "rich" or "christian". They want people who are attracted to women, should they be heterosexual men, lesbians or bi people, to not mind if the woman they're going to see their date is trans or not and therefore they shouldn't mind if they get a surprise penis or a dry chirurgical vagina. If they object, they're transphobes.

[–]FlippyKing 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

following up on what Rage-Xion said, for trans-identifying males it's like a collection of fetishes all under the trans umbrella. Regardless of if they call themselves "lesbians" or if the are homosexual males, their paraphilia is that by pretending to be and thinking they are being perceived as a woman, they get sexual arousal and ego-strokes (read Games People Play for how people engage in dysfunctional behaviors to get 'strokes' to their ego which reinforce the dysfunctional behavior. what makes it dysfunctional is that when the strokes no long give the effect they want (and this is me thinking but I bet it is dopamine) they escalate their performance till the opposite reaction is given and they are not treated they way they think a woman is treated or they are called out on their charade. This ends the "game" which then gives them "you've been bad just like you always knew you were" stroke. The dynamic applies to many many dysfunctions, most of which are not sexual at all but the dynamic is the same I think.

The thing is they really do not want to be told they are women. That is just part of the game. They know they are not, and a part of their mind that will not go away wants that truth to come out. So the full cycle is: I present myself as a woman, they think I am, how much more can I get away with, and if the game goes on politely for a while then fine but eventually it gets to, see they do not think I am an woman because I am not, I am unworthy of affection/the world is so mean boo-hoo. And they find some new sucker to start the game anew.

[–]kwallio 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Its an ego boost to be dating in stealth mode. They think they pass so well that their dates don't know that they are trans. The thought process that they might be doing something dangerous or any thought about the feelings of the other person basically doesn't happen, because they are obsessed with their appearance.

There was a post on saidit somewhere, either here on gendercritical or elsewhere where a TIM was on a date with a man and did the big reveal that they were trans and were disappointed and angry that the man said that he knew and accepted the TIM for who he was. He was mad that he didn't pass and didn't get the ego boost of the gasp "but I thought you were totally a woman" experience.

My take on this is that trans people mostly live in a self-created fantasy world, anything that intrudes on this creates huge psychic problems and must be eliminated asap.

You are right that this creates problems for the trans person, because they are addicted to their fetish or preoccupation with passing and thus can't get a true relationship, which has honesty as a foundation. As we've seen with people becoming trans in the context of an already existing relationship, they are just fine with throwing away a long term relationship in service to their trans identity. I don't understand it either but that is what they do.

[–]pacmanla 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Honestly, the vast majority of them aren't fooling anyone anyway. Also, if they do "pass" it's only a question of how long? If a heterosexual male tries to become intimate with a transwoman (man), the overwhelming majority of them still have their male genitalia. If the transwoman (man) have undergone "surgery" it resembles nothing like a vagina. I read stories on how the smell & look were awful. Long story short, they're not getting away or fooling anyone. Because of this, transwomen (men) have a tendency to try to engage orally with heterosexual males as a "one night stand" or "hook up" thing. They know when the clothes come off, they're not fooling anyone.