I am not afraid: My reflections on being a gender critical lesbian entrenched in the “queer” (LGB) community.

submitted by Skipdip from self.GenderCritical

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[–]MezozoicGay 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

What do you mean?

I've answered about "Females" book. Do you mean that you are feeling in a similar way to an author of that book?

And yes, that all is subconciousness and how the world made people to think it is norm. I was noticing that a lot with japanese men, who were trying to become feminist allies. They were saying or doing things that are very misogynyc or paedo, I was asking why they did it - it hurts women. Answers were almost always "I never thought about it, I am used to act like that, everyone acts like that, it is the norm there, it happens automatically". And that is big problem with our societies and patriarchy. I am trying to do my best to be fair with women (as a gay man), however, sometimes I am noticing myself saying wrong things or doing wrong actions, just because "it is how everyone does and everyone used to it and accepts it is as norm". Society as a system is the main problem.

[–]Skipdip[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Oh.. confusion lol. I was responding to AugustJade who I thought thought that what I wrote was from the perspective of a trans woman. I thought the “what the absolute fuck” was directed at me. If it was directed at Chu I do agree lol.

Yes for sure 100% and yeah I can relate as a white person. I think due to these norms that have been conditioned into us, we are gonna be racist and sexist sometimes. I’ve been trying to get rid of my racism for years and even now that I’ve had this breakthrough I still do racist shit. I’ve found that my newfound ability to take responsibility and correct my action (to whatever extent makes sense) without internalizing shame has made me way more resilient and less racist at the end of the day. I’ve wondered about if this were the same way for males and now here is at least one person who seems to confirm that! It is comforting to hear of males who are actively working on their sexism.

[–]MezozoicGay 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It is interesting point about racism. Here we only have dark-skinned arabs and rarely black-skinned people from Africa in schools or univercities as exchange students (I am not sure how to correctly say about them, I hope used words by me are fine, as here only word for them is the N word and that word has no negativity in it at all). However, some of them are staying and living here. There was even funny moment, when few black people were attacked by pro-russian activists who were speaking on broken ukrainian language, and they answered to attackers on clean ukrainian language without any accent that "I am ukrainian and don't understand your gibberish, go away".

Slaves here were only white people, mostly from our own lands and not imported from somewhere.

In general people here almost not racists (unlike Russia nearby, however, whole their politics is built on xenophobia, so nothing weird in that) and maximum that people of color will encounter here is curiocity or "gazing at something new and unseen" when first meeting them.

Only people who are spilling racism against people of color here are people who are watching american TV or reading english news too much, or watching russian news. Sometimes there is racism against asian peole, mainly against chinese, as people are just afraid of their country.

So when we are getting person of color in our groups or on our job, they are getting no or almost no discrimination, we are not even noticing their color at all, except maybe for rare jokes.

So if take same approach - maybe if society will be different and people will grow up without prejudices and external influence - there will be no misogyny, or it will be decreased greatly.

[–]Skipdip[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Fascinating. How very American of me to automatically assume u were from the US lol. Thanks for sharing.

I’m curious how your experience is being gay in Ukraine? I know it’s a totally different game from Russia, but still, I’ve never had the chance to ask.

[–]MezozoicGay 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

For me personally it was fine, and every year it becomes better. For many others it wasn't. Worst were when USSR was breaking up and we were protesting, so new goverment will not re-apply anti-gay laws from USSR. It not fixed homophobia of society, but it becomes less and less of an issue. I am not disclosing my sexuality to everyone, thought.