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[–]squintypreyeyes 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Your examples are about one person wanting to be a parent while the other does not. The question in the OP is simply about having biological children vs adopting. Both partners want to be parents though.

What the OP doesn't realise is that natalism is so firmly entrenched in the cultural psyche that, when posed with a question about breeding vs adoption, people will apparently just edit the adoption part out, and answer a question about wanting to breed vs not wanting to.

[–]greenish 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Nope.

I answered the way I did because those are the examples of clashing parental desires that I'm familiar with.

The point I was making still holds true - that it's not a good area to expect compromise from one partner, and it impacts relationships and the kids badly.

I don't accept that wanting your own biological child is a thing called "natalism" that comes from being "entrenched in the cultural psyche", I'm pretty sure it's a basic biological urge, because we are ultimately animals. Not everyone will experience it, because of life experience/personality/individuality/our ability to make conscious decisions etc, but most do and that's as it evolved.

Other arrangements like adoption and step families are just as valid, but I don't think it's reasonable to pretend that that underlying drive doesn't exist in all animals, including humans, or that it's a product of our culture(s).

[–]TalkToTheVoid[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think the examples are relevant to the question I asked, but I appreciate your thoughtfulness in responding. I'm not trying to suggest what anyone in my hypothetical should do. My thoughts and pondering are more about the attitudes that the choices I talked about reflect.

[–]squintypreyeyes 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What do you mean "nope"? You answered a question with irrelevant examples. It's right there. I can see it. Not wanting to be a parent at all is different to wanting (or not wanting) biological offspring.