Apparently not putting your pronouns in your bio automatically means you're transphobic by iamcool1337 in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 40 insightful - 4 fun40 insightful - 3 fun41 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Meanwhile I've also seen a lot of "it's transphobic for 'cis' people to put their pronouns in their bio because it forces trans people to out themselves, which could result in them being MURDERED TO DEATH!!!1!, so it's like you killed them yourself you evil violent transphobe".

It's almost like it's an arbitrary set of ever shifting rules that are rigged so that you're always wrong and they're always right, and also HARMED and OPPRESSED by your actions, that were an attempt to appease them in the first place. Grovel and bend over backwards harder!

Hannah Gadsby's FaceBook FanGroup kicks GC artist out because she is "making people feel unsafe" by supporting JK Rowling. How do these people function in the real world? by BEB in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They do. This is the real world. This is what they're turning the real world into. Dissenters must be hounded out of all spaces! This has happened before many times in the real world.

Joe Biden endorses child transing by WrongToy in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've seen a lot of that. Funny, isn't it, that they have an immutable sexual orientation that can't be questioned, but according to people in the same circles those gross old gays and lesbians only have a fetishistic sexual preference fuelled by bigotry, that they really should examine and work on changing.

Wokeworld is wild.

TRA orgs backpedaling on "born in the wrong body" by [deleted] in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 24 insightful - 3 fun24 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

They're still saying there's an innate sense of gender identity, just that it's based on nebulous "feelings" that can't be named, and a sense of "knowing", and this is all super scientific and neurobiological.

Whether you live in the UK or not Everyone let’s spam this with fake codes to skew the petition. They’re getting desperate. Use: “WC2N 5DU” by pugsnotdrugs411 in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No. That's the kind of tactics TRAs use, and it was picked up in the GRA reform consulting.

Just so you know, there's a new sub on Reddit called r/gendercriticalsociety by please_help in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sounds like it means towards men who don't understand/agree with feminism.

Someone posted this link to try to prove that gender identity was inate, but all the genes they found associated with transgenderism just so happen to be the same ones associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder. by Tovasshi in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 54 insightful - 1 fun54 insightful - 0 fun55 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So they've basically found a way to sterilize autistic and gay kids, that is labelled "progressive" and supported by institutions of power, so it can't be opposed. And they call us fascists for criticising this.

Men vs Women when it comes to biological children by TalkToTheVoid in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)


I answered the way I did because those are the examples of clashing parental desires that I'm familiar with.

The point I was making still holds true - that it's not a good area to expect compromise from one partner, and it impacts relationships and the kids badly.

I don't accept that wanting your own biological child is a thing called "natalism" that comes from being "entrenched in the cultural psyche", I'm pretty sure it's a basic biological urge, because we are ultimately animals. Not everyone will experience it, because of life experience/personality/individuality/our ability to make conscious decisions etc, but most do and that's as it evolved.

Other arrangements like adoption and step families are just as valid, but I don't think it's reasonable to pretend that that underlying drive doesn't exist in all animals, including humans, or that it's a product of our culture(s).

Men vs Women when it comes to biological children by TalkToTheVoid in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 24 insightful - 3 fun24 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I disagree.

For some people having their own children is incredibly important. That includes men.

A man who would try to coerce his female partner into doing something like that when she wasn't keen would be a misogynist, for all the reasons you stated, but he has a right to leave her over it if it's that important to him, and try to find a partner who is compatible with his life goals.

I know two real families who came to mind when I read your post. In Family A the wife really wanted children and husband knew he was emotionally fucked up (due to losing all his family at a young age) and wouldn't make a good dad. Wife nearly left him over it and his subsequent moodiness and lack of communication, but he needed her because he didn't have anyone else, so he agreed to become a father on the understanding that he would be the breadwinner, and she would do all the parenting. She agreed because that's all she knew from her own father. The arrangement worked pretty well for the couple, but not, and this is the really important point for the children, who all grew up incredibly fucked up.

Family B: Husband came from a big family and loved it, his whole ambition was to be a dad. Wife had a cold, unloving mother and did not want to become one herself, but he was her childhood sweetheart and that's just what you did in those days, so she went along with it. They had 4 kids. He was a 'fun' dad who the kids adored. Her personhood just seemed to shrivel up and she lived on autopilot. The kids loved him and found her distant and strict, because she had to do all the discipline. The kids grew up and moved out, he died, none of them wanted to have much to do with her, and she was left wondering what happened to her life.

So from what I've witnessed, compatibility is absolutely vital fro a successful parenting partnership, which yes, begins hugely unequally, but for the whole of the rest of the kid's life the input of both parents (and quality/dynamics thereof) is vital to their life experience. It's absolutely reasonable to leave someone over if they want very different things from you, and a really bad idea to try to 'settle' and 'make do'.

The brutal honest truth about Transgender MTF dating. I could have predicted this ...anyone could have. The trans cult will never tell kids about the downsides. by Cacator in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 57 insightful - 1 fun57 insightful - 0 fun58 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They always see it as a discrimination issue that people can be 'educated'/shamed/bullied out of, instead of what it is: people's inherent sexuality based on millions of years of evolution.

Humans are either attracted to males, females, or both to some degree (or possibly neither), and those are complete phenotypes. Once you start artificially messing with that you cease to resemble one phenotype or the other, and won't register as a viable partner to the vast majority of people (I'm talking about the actual sexed nature of your body, not masculine/feminine attire). Then all you're left with is those whose sexuality has a miswiring, ie fetish, possibly fuelled by porn.

They're not doing themselves any favours by refusing to acknowledge this basic reality, and then feeling sorry for themselves when they come up against it, and trying to make it everyone else's problem. It's never going to change, no matter how much cajoling/crying/manipulating/screaming/ostracising/legislating they do to try to force others to see them as something they just are not, and never can be, on a really fundamental biological level.

Mum in hate crime probe after pro-JK Rowling stickers amid trans rights row by turtleduck23 in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think sex is a protected characteristic under UK hate crime laws, is it? Certain police forces were trialling making misogyny a hate crime, but I don't know what happened to that (what it mainly meant was being able to take a history of violent misogyny into account in court, when a relevant crime is committed, not just being offended at stuff). I heard something to the effect of if we did that, there would be too much crime to deal with.

I peaked after dating a trans girl and need advice on how to leave by lunemoonjune in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You say being kind and honest are core values to you, but do you think this person has been either kind or honest to you? Have you been kind or honest to yourself? Looks like you are starting to be honest, but maybe not kind still. You need to give yourself a break and recognise the relationship dynamics. This is a male person, expecting kindness from you, a female person, and relying on your emotional labour and putting him before yourself, while not reciprocating at all. At some point when this is over, expect to be angry at how you were coerced and taken advantage of. This person is not innocent of that, it's not a mistake.

[Currently "FtM"] You guys are right by please_help in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

OP, try to hold off from doing anything permanent to your body at this age. Many, many teenage girls have found going through puberty and the resultant changes in their body extremely distressing, in every generation. This is the first really when you can do something to stop it, but just because we can does that mean that we should?

The brain isn't even fully developed until the mid 20s, there will be so much change in your body, and how you relate to your body and feel about it. Seriously, I know so many women who wanted breast implants/reduction/nose job/etc... in their teens and early 20s, who then 'grew into themselves' and even liked those features as they got older.

It's kinda a feature of being young, that is currently being exploited as if it's a new thing, but I assure you their pain and distress about it was just as real as yours, and now they're... fine. Let this natural process unfold for you to, stay strong against this female and homosexual erasing agenda, that really only throws those groups under the bus to prove the legitimacy of adult men with fetishes.

Apparently TIMs never have male privilege even if they come out very late in life..... by bradjohnsonishere2 in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It was a few years ago now and I received Zero support, and a lot of abuse as I desisted. However, I am still fine! In fact better than ever :)

Apparently TIMs never have male privilege even if they come out very late in life..... by bradjohnsonishere2 in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 23 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

This was one of my first peaks when I was still a TIF. I was told by a bunch of TIMs that they had never experienced male privilege because people could sense their magically gendered souls and treated them as women since birth (I knew these guys, it was very difficult to see them as women, even when I believed, and none of them had transitioned yet).

Any privilege they did receive traumatised them because that's not how women are treated, implying that they should be treated worse as 'women', and would be more comfortable with that because of their and the submissive nature of their "female soul essence".

And they saw themselves in female examples, so they said when they saw women around them/in the media being exploited/objectified it affected them just as badly because they identified as a woman, and perhaps even worse because as they would never be treated like that, it was a sign of other people not recognising their gendered soul, which was an extra cross to bare that those badly treated woman could never understand. Oh the humanity!

They also told me that as I had a male 'gendered soul' I had always been male, and therefore always had male privileged, and anything bad that had happened to be because I was female (a lot) had actually happened to a man, proving that these things happened to men too and weren't a female issue. However, these bad things (rape, CSA, etc) were rendered not so bad because of my male privilege, so I needed to STFU about them and in no way imply I had anything in common with other women, because that would be me using my male privilege to speak over them.

'Polarised' debate on gender recognition is harming UK, says equalities chief by greenish in GenderCritical

[–]greenish[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not sure what you mean. What violence have feminists ever perpetrated towards TRAs? They regularly threaten us with violence (often sexualized), while we don't threaten them, just say things they don't like and wish to silence, and they sometimes carry through to actual violence.

JK Rowling publisher asked Mermaids trans group to ‘censor’ legal article on free‑speech ruling by greenish in GenderCritical

[–]greenish[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sorry it's paywalled for me too, but looks v interesting.

'Polarised' debate on gender recognition is harming UK, says equalities chief by greenish in GenderCritical

[–]greenish[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There is a problem with this. Holding up other countries where gender laws have just gone through with no public awareness or debate as being more progressive is false. Women have not been listened to, and we are still being painted as hysterical, unfair, and mean, as if it's a two way street. Women's groups have been the ones open to debate but trans groups are the ones who have labeled any dissent as violent bigotry that must be crushed. Also, is being at risk of violence really something we have in common and TRA's main concern, or is that a clever talking point that doesn't actually affect them all that much in the UK, but does affect women? He's bought that even though it's been thoroughly debunked, which means he's still listening to them way more than us. He also seems to think that the end goal after "reasonable debate" would be for trans groups to get everything they're currently pushing for, which is the destruction of women's (and children's, and LGB) rights and spaces, so like... NO.

What do you do when there are trans women you actually like? by ImPiqued1111111 in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nothing. There are many men I like personally. It still doesn't stop me believing that men as a class have and continue to hurt, marginalize and try to control women as a class. There are also women I think are supremely shitty individuals - it still doesn't stop it from being true.

I treat the men I like as the decent, lovely people they are, knowing that they did not choose the system into which they were born and try to treat everyone with kindness, fairness, and equality, but because they haven't experienced it from the female point of view they have a lot of blind spots and sometimes fall into exploiting women's labour because the way things are set up encourages it and makes it easy and invisible for them to do so, and nobody's perfect. However, the reason I like these men is that when pointed out, they see that it's unfair and try to be more aware and change their behaviour without further prompting, because they actually personally care about other people, and not being an asshole.

Apply this to your TIM friends.

Is Ovarit down? by greenish in GenderCritical

[–]greenish[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you!

Correction made in major paper supporting the benefits of cross-sex surgeries, stating no actual benefit by divingrightintowork in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Given that the vast majority of people identifying as trans these days are not transexual (ie don't have surgery), I don't know what difference it will make. They're trying to push the idea that women can have penises and men can have vaginas, and if you don't agree you're a bigot into law, with some success. Also, either artificial hormones are all that's needed to completely change your sex, or that sex itself is determined by gender identity. I wouldn't be surprised if they abandon transexuals, as they are actually unnecessary to their goals of just officially redefining everything in language to access whatever they want, no physical changes required.

Hell hath no fury like TRAs who don’t get there own way: ‘Here’s who signed a letter to the NCAA opposing trans inclusion’ by Chunkeeguy in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 33 insightful - 1 fun33 insightful - 0 fun34 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They were never satisfied with the very quick and easy social acceptance they were given, facilitated by the funding of billionaires and well established lobby groups that they parasitised. It doesn't fit their narrative about who they are, and who everyone else is, which is all important to them (because cluster B).

They've foolishly decided to go balls to the wall for total domination. They require complete compliance throughout the whole of society, and that includes erasing any difference between themselves and actual women, that might show that they're not by comparison. That requires that actual women be disappeared as much as possible.

This is why they're going to lose. They're trying to tell everyone what to think, do, and say, including men, and completely rewrite society, language, science, medical ethics, and biology, in a very short space of time, in a way that serves only a very few. They're trying to level the very foundations of society (law, education, government policy) to do so. How very oppressed, right? They're fighting on too many fronts and have weilded the very power their whole narrative rests on not having, and being disenfranchised by.

If they'd settled for acknowledging that women are women, "trans men" are female, and "trans women" are male, but who want protection to live a certain way, while not infringing on anyone else, then they would have had that easily by now. Instead they want everything we are, and they simply can't have it because it's not doable, even if governments initially attempt to appease them.

(Saidit) PEAK TRANS I: Please continue to share your stories!! by Irascible-harpy in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm going to remember the people who don't care about women. I'm going to remember that about them for a very long time.

"I don't trust cis people" by RedditHatesLesbians in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

They're saying that if you're a TIM who dresses exactly like a regular guy, or a TIF who dresses exactly like a stereotypical woman, (in other words you don't even try to 'pass', are completely visually indistinguishable from everyone else of the same sex, and do not dress in styles more typically associated with the opposite sex) then in fact you're a brave and noble GNC person - a 'butch' """woman""" or a 'femme' """man""".

do you own a vagina? by Lingenfelter in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 82 insightful - 9 fun82 insightful - 8 fun83 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

The total absence of the clitoris is what gets me. Silly vagina owners, it's so much not about your pleasure that we'll leave out your main organ for that!

"I don't trust cis people" by RedditHatesLesbians in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 20 insightful - 5 fun20 insightful - 4 fun21 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Oh wow, the lies have evolved again, now it's not just "trans women" (gay male drag queens) LGB people owe everything to, it's "trans lesbians" (straight men). How's that then?

Also, now completely gender conforming people are GNC, if they identify as the opposite sex.

Finally given up on ever looking through r/Actuallesbians again... Also this is a total fantasy. by RedditHatesLesbians in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 24 insightful - 3 fun24 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Because 'chasers' are interested in them for being trans, not for being women, and what they want is the validation of someone of their preferred sex (LOL) being attracted to them on the basis of being women, not as trans, which is invalidating of their delusions.

Many even like being objectified, but only if they think it's because they're women, not because they're trans. They will complain bitterly about the latter and use it to prove their "oppression", while being flattered by and seeking the former, because it makes them feel soooo sexy and validated.

I just can't possibly imagine why a TIM would think this way, can you? 😒 by justradfemthings in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 32 insightful - 2 fun32 insightful - 1 fun33 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Replace "misandry" with "feminism" or "women centering women" and read it again.

Who's your favourite/most informative/well written/realistic feminist character in movies/series? Or what is the best story about such a character (even if they're not the protagonist)? by vitunrotta in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Anything written by Sally Wainwright. Seriously, she's amazing!

Warning though - Happy Valley has one of the best female characters I've ever encountered, but I couldn't watch it all because it's about bringing a rapist to justice, and the sexual violence was too much for me.

Also, she really messed up by killing off one half of a lesbian couple in the most disappointingly cliched way in Last Tango in Halifax. So much that she apologised for it.

Apart from that though, anything she writes is well worth your time, Gentleman Jack (not about a gentleman of any kind. Lesbian period drama) and Scott & Bailey (gritty police drama with two female cops and their female boss. One of them is a complete disaster of a human being in a way female characters rarely get to be) are very good.

JK Rowling claims society is on brink of 'medical scandal' over transgender issues by RADFEM90 in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks, but also HA! That's nothing compared to the trans groups I was part of and the lgbT therapists I tried to get help from. They were 10000000 times worse. I never did receive the help and support I needed, except from my family, who they strongly pressured me to push away. In the end I had to untangle myself from them all because they alarmed me so much, and just deal with my issues alone.

JK Rowling claims society is on brink of 'medical scandal' over transgender issues by RADFEM90 in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This was a few years ago now tho. I think it's just the (unethical, agenda driven) way they have always operated.

JK Rowling claims society is on brink of 'medical scandal' over transgender issues by RADFEM90 in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yup. This was the NHS as well, not a private organisation.

JK Rowling claims society is on brink of 'medical scandal' over transgender issues by RADFEM90 in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just one piece of anecdotal evidence - I never actually transitioned, but was put on the pathway towards it. I felt I was being pushed too fast and other options were being shut down, leaving me with no way out except transition, so I asked for it to be delayed while I sought the counselling they should have been providing me with to help deal with the crisis I was in, but didn't.

The gender identity clinic behaved very oddly. I wrote to them seeking a delay, next time they wrote to me they said they had received no such request from me (so what are you responding to, exactly?). I finally decided to get off the trans pathway and wrote to them saying that while I still had dysphoria I was going to try to work it out myself, until more reliable medicine was available. They wrote a strange letter to me accusing me of not turning up to meetings that I had never been informed of, and saying because of this they had to cancel my placement and give it to someone who would comply with the rules. There was a further exchange when my dad got pissed at their weird evasiveness and wrote to them to say I had never been alerted to any 'meetings', and I did not want to transition any more because of the misogyny and homophobia of the movement. They wrote back saying they had no idea what previous correspondence I was referring to as they had no record of it, but they were now cancelling me because I wasn't suitable (which they knew despite me never having seen anyone yet).

Do you see? They didn't let me quit, my concerns were dishonestly disappeared, they had to be the ones to drop me, not the other way round. That way their records look like nobody is desisting, and they're doing a much better job of gatekeeping than they actually are.

Feeling politically homeless? Don't count on libertarians to have your back. by ThisReality in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 36 insightful - 1 fun36 insightful - 0 fun37 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Total freedom for men has historically meant slavery for women. Women who believe in freedom for women understand that this means a certain amount of restriction for men (just the amount that they should restrain themselves in order to be decent people, but that has never worked).

The 'security' he's talking about is safety from abuse and exploitation. That is freedom for women, from what men would do to them if they had full freedom.

r/TooAfraidToAsk - Is it okay to not be attracted to transgender people? (top comments surprisingly sane.) by BettysBitterButter in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I wonder what they would have said if she was a lesbian and said she wasn't attracted to TIMs? No one gives a shit about pandering to TIFs (unless it also serves TIMs), and no one feels obligated to be attracted to them in the same way, because they're female.

Transwoman: MTF competing in women's sport are being "grossly unfair and stealing people's dreams" by dandeliondynasty in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What? You obviously didn't see him on the "all female" Big Brother, berating the actual women in the house for trying to talk about anything serious, because it wasn't light and fluffy enough for his understanding of what women should talk about, and generally aggressively trying to control everyone. He's a misogynistic bully.

We can't pick and choose who to "respect" by allowing some men to pretend to be women if we like what they say, they're either female or they're not, and they're not.

Reproduction without women: What would this mean for us? by [deleted] in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

For the past few years I have been closely supporting a friend through fertility treatments, pregnancy, childbirth, and raising a baby.

I am absolutely awed by what the female body is capable of. The complexity an body-wisdom of it, all the adaptations of millions of years. Just how important things that our culture thinks of as unimportant are to the health and wellbeing of the child. I am shocked at how much of this is made unapparent to us, by our culture's male bias.

I genuinely do not think men will be able to technologically erase women's role in reproduction, or replicate it, though I do believe they'll have a good go. They don't even understand everything our bodies do, or the importance of it. Let alone the bonding and social aspects - would men be willing to sacrifice themselves to take up the roles that women currently play in children's lives? because that's what would be needed to raise children, and so far they have proven reluctant. How could they reproduce something that they're so ignorant of?

I don't think they can disappear us. I do think they may try to turn us into commercialized resources that can be purchased for our sexual function, or our reproductive function, as childcare, or cleaning/cooking. In the past they obtained a wife, who performed all these functions for one man and was not paid, but was "looked after" financially. I think they may try to split up the functions and many men will purchase separate ones from different women (prostitutes, surrogacy, nannies, maids, etc...), who could as a class be forced into these roles as waves of economic crises squeeze them out of other forms of employment.

Do you feel differently about heterosexual vs homosexual trans people? by Bogos in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

After hanging out in trans spaces (which of course are allowed to exist unchallenged, unlike women's spaces) when I thought I was trans, my feelings changed. I used to fully support "trans women" but I witnessed and experienced more outright hostile misogyny from them than I have ever witnessed from any other group of males (apart from virtually, on certain subreddits of course), and I've been around some sexist pigs and spent time in military settings. It wasn't just one group either, it was several, and their behaviour is echoed online pretty much everywhere.

I used to be much more sympathetic towards gay TIMs than straight TIMs, and still am to an extent because a lot of them have dealt with a bunch of homophobia and pressure about how 'effeminate' they are.

HOWEVER, I witnessed just as much misogyny coming from them. They weren't a sexual threat towards women, but they could pose a physical threat because of the vicious, poisonous hatred, disgust, and jealousy towards women that many of them have, and feel they had the right to forcefully express.

From what I've experienced straight TIMs are more likely to be sleazy, boundary pushing, and violating towards women, but gay TIMs are more likely to actually get violent, believing it's 'competition' and 'cattiness'.

None of them are any sort of women. They may have differing motivations and issues, and there are 'nice' individuals, but both of them are just as selfish and dangerous towards women as a class.

We've reached peak crazy. by [deleted] in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 21 insightful - 6 fun21 insightful - 5 fun22 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I will translate. He's literally saying that his dick is a vagina, but a 'vagina' that "appears and functions more similar to a strap-on sex toy".

I think the reasoning, if you could call it that, is that women have vaginas (how transphobic of him!), and since he's a 'woman' his genitals are a vagina, but they happen to look a bit different than most women's vaginas for some reason, and the only reason you would care about that tiny, infinitesimal variation is if you're a horrible body-shaming bigot. Saying his """""vagina""""" is more like a strap-on is a masterful touch, as who stereotypically wears strap-ons? Not men, lesbians! So his """""vagina"""" doesn't even resemble a dick, it resembles something women use when having sex with other women. How could anyone object?!

"Survivors Must Fight For Trans Women Too" (as an aforementioned survivor, this made me so angry!) by greenish in GenderCritical

[–]greenish[S] 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So am I, but which people should be spending their time, energy, and money doing that? And should women who have been raped or provide services to other women who have been raped have to prioritise them, even at their own expense? Services for women who have experienced rape and domestic violence are already incredibly underfunded and overstretched.

the role of yaoi/anime bL in the “gay” tif (specifically tumblr/twt) community by gencritcurious in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 52 insightful - 2 fun52 insightful - 1 fun53 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I think slash (yaoi, m/m fan fiction) seriously fucked up my sexuality.

I started reading fanfic in my teens, when the internet was young. I was having a really hard time at school because I was suffering from serious mental illness due to abuse that no one knew about. This caused me to 'maladaptively daydream' a lot and dissociate from my body/present circumstances.

There were certain male characters I projected onto, because they shared some issues with me, in a metaphorical way, or acted out their anger at injustice. Never female characters, because being female didn't feel safe, and therefore wasn't an escape.

I stumbled across slash fanfic for these male characters, and was hooked. It was the 'foeyay' sort - in other words shipping them with their enemies. The relationship dynamics were crucial - they started off hating each other but were forced to work together against something more threatening, and so developed an appreciation for each other, discovered that there had been some preconceptions that were wrong, and ended up falling for each other. In other words the righting of injustices, misunderstood characters who were thought badly of finally being understood and offered love and acceptance, you know, emotional resolution. Magnetic stuff, to poor little outcast me at the time.

The male character I projected onto was usually shipped with a much higher status and more socially approved of male character. I guess I was vicariously seeking male approval, but didn't believe that I, as a girl, could ever achieve it, because I believed that no man would ever see or treat me as an equal. This was my "if I was male I could unlock this affection and respect between equals that I'm sure is available, but not to me" fantasy. Then - and this was the point, not any sort of attraction to men - I would be safe and protected and respected and admired, just as my favourite characters came to be.

I didn't want to read about sex involving a woman, because it felt like porn. Objectifying and degrading. It made me intensely uncomfortable. Fanfic involving M/F pairings often had romance novel type scenarios in them, and I was intensely put off by any whiff of male dominance towards a woman, or the female character actually being attracted to that. The presence of a female character in an erotic context instantly made me feel forced to identify with her perspective, and she would always be thinking and doing things that I never would, and found really alienating.

I got more and more into slash, and I kind of didn't develop a sexuality outside of that. I think there's a window of time where your sexuality develops, and I spent mine avoiding it by feeding myself virtual junk food specifically designed to create boundaries between my real, female body and my experience of sexuality.

In slash world, there is no misogyny, because women are periphery and barely exist. There is no shit and pain in anal sex. There are no STDs or pregnancy scares. Anatomy and sensation can work however you want.

It's written by women, for women. This was so important to me, as I thought I was exploring sexuality in a safe, risk free environment. I almost believed it was a feminist act - reclaiming the narrative of sexuality from men and objectifying them for a change. No actual men needed to be present, we could represent them as we wanted them to be, as we wished they were, have them treat the characters we identified with as we wished they would behave and feel towards us, and they weren't involved. Much better, safer and more satisfying than interacting with real men.

The discourse has more recently been about whether it's ethical for (presumably) straight women to appropriate gay men's experiences, but at the time we understood it to have nothing to do with real men or real attraction between men at all. It was all women using male vessels to express our desires that could not be met because we were women in this society.

Ultimately I think I wished to be loved by a man the way a woman stereotypically loves another woman, not the way a man stereotypically loves another man, but without the physicality of being female, because that's all wrapped up with embodiment, shame, and danger.

I did want to experience romance, passion, sensuality, acceptance, compassion, being cared for, etc... but I didn't want to be in my body, which had been violated and was vulnerable. I wanted to experience these things in a 'safe' body, and coming from another 'safe' body, not somebody else so horrifically vulnerable like myself.

That was the draw of slash, for me. The result was that it drew me deeper and deeper into dissociation from my body and mental illness. My sexuality never developed in a real world context and was stuck in the fictional, which is kind of like a fetish I guess. I have since stopped reading it, but it was really hard, like weaning off an addiction, and even years later theres just a hole where my sexuality should be.

"Survivors Must Fight For Trans Women Too" (as an aforementioned survivor, this made me so angry!) by greenish in GenderCritical

[–]greenish[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sorry, don't remember how to archive link.

Girl has to wait years for autism diagnosis. But could start transitioning within months. by Lyssa in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks! IDK, I did post a long account of it all back on the old forum, which of course is buried now. It was actually during that time and GC helped immeasurably. I'm not sure I want to go back through it all now though, and a lot of it feels too potentially identifying. That might be cowardly of me, but I have dependants and a precarious income situation, and I'm still not ready to put myself (or them) in the firing line. There's also the CPTSD, which I'm dealing with, but on my own.

Girl has to wait years for autism diagnosis. But could start transitioning within months. by Lyssa in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When I was having a massive crisis I didn't know if my feelings were coming from trauma over childhood abuse and rape, or 'gender identity'.

I asked for mental health help to work it out, naively assuming it would be unbiased and informed by evidence. I was immediately put onto the route to transition, even though I said I didn't know if my issues were being caused by gender identity or trauma and that's what I wanted help to explore. My GP assured me the gender clinic would counsel me and help me work it out, even though that's not what they do.

I very quickly had an appointment with the 'gatekeeper' who asked leading questions about whether I liked dresses or playing with dolls as a child, and whether I felt comfortable with male attention, and my body. I didn't, and even more - I was wearing short hair, jeans, and a polo shirt to the appointment!!!! A sure sign that I was actually a man, as he wrote in his report. He then diagnosed me with Gender Dysphoria from that one brief meeting, and my application to the gender clinic was passed.

I tried to seek mental health help in the meantime, because of, you know, the massive breakdown I was still going through that had not been touched on, and treated as unimportant, even though I was clearly in a state of extreme anguish and confusion. I went to two different private LGBT councillors (still stupidly believing that they would be unbiased professionals with expertise in mental health issues, who also specialised in LGBT issues). They both told me that having trauma was inconsequential to someone's gender identity as it was to someone's sexual orientation, and implied that I was being offensive to question whether my feelings of dysphoria had any basis in trauma. They both told me that anyone who questions their gender identity is clearly trans, because cis people never question it. They both told me that because I was obviously trans, with 100% certainty, that I would never, ever be happy for the whole of the rest of my life and would almost certainly end up killing myself unless I transitioned, which would make me incredibly happy and solve literally every single one of my problems, even the trauma. One told me that my rape trauma was a sign of being trans, because it wouldn't bother me as much if I wasn't really a man (this was a bi handmaiden married to a man, who had never dated a woman but was heavily involved in the local LGBT community). The other told me that I needed to stop thinking of myself as a 'survivor' because it was holding me back and making me have a victim complex. I had only just started to come to terms with the rapes, or integrate them into my understanding of how my life was going (that was really what the crisis was about I think) and it was one of the first times I had spoken to anyone about it. This was a hetro TIM who made me really uncomfortable in just about every way.

I felt totally railroaded onto the transition pathway and was beginning to panic because it was all going so fast (this on top of the ignored breakdown). The next time I saw my GP I mentioned that I was having doubts and needed to see a normal NHS councillor, urgently. She poo-poohed my concerns, said that I was in good hands and just had to wait, and implied that no one likes a flip-flopper, and if I 'ducked out of' this I would never be taken seriously again (not that I ever had before).

Luckily, the transition pathway got delayed, because they were experiencing an influx of too many people(!) and in the meantime I took a course at college. Because of the assessment process, and that alone, I was able to ask for a referral to the NHS mental health team. I dropped out of all LGBT related groups that I was in, and asked for my transition to be delayed. They sent me weird letters telling me they were cancelling my gender clinic placement because I hadn't shown up to appointments I had never heard of and could not have had because I hadn't got that far yet. Honestly it was a relief, even though I still thought I was trans and would need to transition one day.

Now the point of my story - I finally got a mental health assessment, which was three half hour sessions to plead my case for help, as it were, not actual help. It took ONE YEAR since I asked for it. I then finally got my twice monthly sessions, TWO AND A HALF YEARS after that. After a further YEAR of those appointments, I was finally diagnosed with CPTSD, which I had to fight every step of the way for, and then discharged with no further 'help'. I also no longer thought I was trans, but was not able to mention any part of that during my sessions, because I was afraid it would muddy the waters.

I'm sure if you have read this far you can compare and contrast.

Girl has to wait years for autism diagnosis. But could start transitioning within months. by Lyssa in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There's no such thing. No one ever has to think about whether they're covered for certain conditions, the NHS handles everything (or doesn't. They're much better at some things than others). You just go to your GP and they deal with your problem, or send you to a specialist. No charge for anything, possible waiting list for mental health issues and some other things.

'I should have been told to wait': Woman treated with hormone blockers to reassign gender as a teenager takes NHS to court by Feather in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I hate the comments I've seen on this blaming her for her "indecisiveness" and saying basically you've made your bed now lie in it, we're willing to pay for it once, but not twice, as if attempting to reverse the damage done to you was exactly the same as undertaking that damage in the first place.

They're not putting together the enormous social pressure on young people, the lies and misrepresentations, the lack of medical ethics and experimentation, the long term medical problems and unknowns, the crushing of any other narrative, and the way it's being written into law and taught in schools, the way parents are being told their children will kill themselves and they're abusive if they don't go along with it, and the way children are being basically groomed and told to distrust and hate anyone trying to stop them, the huge amounts of money and lobbying from powerful organizations.

Most people haven't seen this big picture, because of the aforementioned censorship of other perspectives, or more concerningly they just don't care and are willing to blame the victim again (well of course, it's mostly young women!). I hope it all comes out, and gets put together into the big picture, but I don't trust the media on this.

Detrans female— Venting, what the f just happened to me? by [deleted] in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 74 insightful - 1 fun74 insightful - 0 fun75 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hang in there, your life is not ruined! You are just passing through the crisis point right now, which is incredibly painful and confusing, and feels like the complete disintegration of self. Remember that it is only the disintegration of the false self (literally detangling (stopping integrating) things that are not true and not you into perception of self), built on a faulty premise absorbed from a society which for a variety of reasons has built up some very funny ideas at this time. What will remain afterwards will be you, and you can go from there.

I have been there too, several times in my life, although I am a desister not a detransitioner. It is incredibly hard but you will get through it, and while you may feel more alone for a while, the clarity about who you are and what society is doing will allow you to attract other people and take other paths that have similar clarity. It took me a couple of years to get over, honestly, but now I am in a much better place than I ever was before, due in large part to the experience. It was like a massive, violent exorcism of my baggage. I think of it almost like the shamanic concept of ego death, but played out in a really concrete, not very woo way.

This is what I hope for you too. You are strong enough to do this! And even if you don't feel you are, as I felt I wasn't, it is already forcing you to become strong, to find depths in yourself you never knew were there, and afterwards you will always have that strength, because you've developed and earned it. Good luck!

Is there a site similar to r/thatneverhappens? by TheBeefBenson in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Trans women face potential women’s rugby ban over safety concerns by Echoofmiles in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 76 insightful - 2 fun76 insightful - 1 fun77 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

This is good, I hope it goes through, in this and other sports.

But notice how they refer to females as "ciswomen" and males as "males".

Teaching women to be afraid hurts women by squintypreyeyes in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No one taught me to fear men, in fact I was taught to always give them the benefit of the doubt and look for the good in everyone. That is what allowed men to hurt me. I learned to trust my own instincts and be extremely wary of men after I had to find out the hard way.

I agree that we can't live in a terrorized state, because it's extremely draining, depressing, isolating, and sick-making, but I think we need to be aware of the risks that men pose, and the ill-will many of them bear us, in a clear headed way. Otherwise we are going in blindly and naively, and many of us find out for ourselves the way I did, instead of being 'conditioned'.

TRAs were angry when r/gendercritical existed. Now they're mad s/gendercritical exists. It's almost like banning subs doesn't delete people from existence by [deleted] in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 52 insightful - 1 fun52 insightful - 0 fun53 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They know we won't disappear, but they do want to chase us out of all public spaces so that we are invisible and our ideas, and the FACTS we compile, and the picture they clearly reveal, become inaccessible to anyone new, and unspeakable.

Be nice! by Camberian in GenderCritical

[–]greenish 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's not "misgendering", it's 'correctly observing the sex of'. It's kind of the core of our political concerns. How can we possibly discuss these issues if we're forced to use the very sex-obscuring language that we object to, because it erases our biological experiences, class, and the experiences that stem from them?

Agreeing that "misgendering" and "deadnaming" are rude has led to things like pedophiles being able to disappear their past, the media reporting male criminals as female, and rape victims being forced to refer to the man who raped them as "she" in court.

Agreeing to use the preferred pronouns of some people and not others because we dis/approve of them is bullshit. We're naming reality, because we have to, otherwise we've lost our argument and the right to speak before we even begin, not rewarding certain people we like by conceding to their delusions because we don't want to hurt their feelings. Their feeling are their own responsibility, and if they go against material reality then they are not being reasonable if they expect everyone else to pretend that material reality doesn't exist. Especially when they try to make the observance of it illegal, or there are consequences like ostracization/doxxing/losing your job. Then it becomes even more important to name the truth, in order to fight that happening.

British government releases YouGov poll on British attitudes towards "trans rights". Potentially worrying. by greenish in GenderCritical

[–]greenish[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Was it? Whoa, that's a sneaky way to get skewed results. I wonder how they chose who to ask.

Yeah, it does look like most people agree with medical gatekeeping, and if you look at the bottom most of them agree with access to sex segregated spaces ONLY if people have had "gender affirmative" surgery, which is only a small percentage of trans people, but I wonder if they were told that? I'm betting no.

Also no one agrees with men in women's sports, even those people who say they 'believe' that TWAW.