I peaked after dating a trans girl and need advice on how to leave

submitted by lunemoonjune from self.GenderCritical

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[–]lunemoonjune[S] 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I honestly don’t care too much about her being jobless or living at home except how it affects me. She has always had someone to buy her food and clean up after her, and I have taken up the role in place of her mother. I don’t think you’re worthless for not having a job or living with your parents (everyone’s situation is different) but I mention it because it’s a strain on me as I am essentially her provider.

Thank you for your support. She is depressed as well, which doesn’t help, and I feel awful contributing to anything that would make her sad. But I need to do it for me. And for her too, she still she deserves love and I hope she finds it. But I know it won’t be with me and unfair to us both to keep on like this.

Thank you again, your words were kind and helpful (:

[–]jelliknight 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Apologies in advance to moody_ape if she's reading this and feels attacked ;)

Some people feel depressed for a damn good reason. Depression isn't always an inexplicable mental illness. If I was 30 and had never achieved anything, didn't know how to take care of myself at all, and made everyone around me miserable, I'd be depressed too. Sometimes feeling bad is a GOOD thing, it motivates us to do better. If he hadn't been coddled so much and prevented from feeling bad he probably would've done something to fix his life by now. It is NOT your responsibility to prevent him from feeling the natural outcomes of his own actions.

You go swimming, you get wet. You spend 30 years dependent on your parents and a lesbian you coerced into dating you while retreating into a fantasy land, you get depressed. It's not your job to dry him off. He's an adult. He can figure it out.

[–]moody_ape 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

i'm glad i could help. don't worry about what i said regarding my own situation. it's something that bugs me 24/7, but i'm not that sensitive to what people say on the internet. i meant everything as a joke hahaha

i'd love to hear an update on the situation after it gets resolved if you feel comfortable sharing. good luck and take care!