What are the things about being a women men can never grasp

submitted by midgetmetalhead19 from self.GenderCritical

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[–]RevengeOfTheCis 39 insightful - 1 fun39 insightful - 0 fun40 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I would say the psychological impact of being questioned and doubted your entire life over everything, no matter how small.

It is exhausting to deal with constantly being on the defensive your entire life. No one can accept that your knowledge is enough. If a man says "2 + 2 = 4", or even "2 + 2 = 5", everyone nods and agrees. If a woman says "2 + 2 = 4", everyone says "Are you sure? Can you prove it?"

Even the mythological perfectly-passing TIM can never fully understand this because for him, this questioning and doubting won't begin until he starts passing. He will have the experience of an entire childhood (or longer, in most cases) of this NOT happening to him, so even if it starts happening, the impact won't be the same on his confidence or his career trajectory.

[–]msteacherlady 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And let's be honest, half the battle is going on in between our own ears. We've been socialized to doubt ourselves for so long that we respond to being doubted by doubting ourselves. TiMs don't. My cousin's big boss is a TiM. When he first took the position years ago, he faced tons of doubt from the new team he was inheriting. He didn't respond to that doubt. Like a man, he just forged ahead and now the same people who were suspicious of him treat him like the world's authority on everything. But, y'know, when I forge ahead, I'm still met with resistance, so it's an uphill struggle both internally and externally for women.

[–]sisterinsomnia 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This. I only realized recently that I have always been questioned, my expertise (founded on decades of study) is not accepted without a long quizzing. And so on.

And how women are inaudible in conversations and debates. This is not about speaking in a quiet voice but about the selective deafness of men. I have observed this over and over. A woman proposes something, silence follows, then some time later a man proposes the same thing, not giving her any credit, and everyone eagerly discusses the proposal. This is agonizingly common and has not changed over time.