Nothing could ever help me. If there's one thing even God can't do, it's helping me. I've seen many different people before, and none can help, because there's simply nothing that can be done to get me out of this nightmare. Before you say that's impossible, remember that many people were born in concentration camps in North Korea; your fate is absolutely NOT controllable.

Besides, I'm not living on my own yet, so I have no way to get to a psychologist without people knowing. And other people can't know, or they'll harass me for needing one, because I "shouldn't feel this way", likely including the psychologists themselves. And one of my family members is too paranoid to ever let me go on any medication. And although I'm an adult, I and others in my family will never hear the end of it if we don't give in to their fears. Not that I think it would work anyway. It's just like HRT for trans people, you're only buying a little more time.

The reason people are so hostile to people like me is because we shatter their rose-colored glasses that let them view the world as a wonderful place and life as a gift. They've convinced themselves that the only way it could become bad is if people "want" to be miserable. So when someone like me comes along and is unhappy, and absolutely nothing can be done about it, they feel threatened, and they don't like confronting the ugly truth they've been running away from. It's even worse with the people who want the best for me, because they can't handle knowing that I'm not doing well, so they go into denial and don't want me to disturb that.