What should I do with my life?

submitted by Vulptex from self.whatever

I'm damned to be forever miserable and I have no way to escape this fate because it's literally hardwired into me. I will surely have a mental breakdown soon, possibly ending with me killing myself. I must be a fully functional person in society all the while, getting any understanding at all is beyond impossible. I'm convinced this is hell.

I want to do something so that there's at least some benefits to my existence and I'm not just a waste of oxygen. But nothing I find ever results in anything but waste and despair.

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[–]LarrySwinger2 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

What do you do in daily life right now? What are your aims?

It's okay to take time out to focus on your mental health. Take up journaling, go for walks, talk to a psychologist, and find a hobby. It's good that you want to contribute something but the pressure shouldn't be a toll on yourself. This is the flip side of individuality: an unhealthy focus on personal achievements. I recommend you don't fall for this trap. And you aren't a waste of oxygen. Who's gonna administrate this website without you?

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

A "breakdown" is "your" reboot. Trust me.

All "cool" things "break down".

Stop your fucking self-hatred, no matter how deeply rooted.

All "healing" "things" seem simple, only "easy" once you got the jackpoint and understood.

It takes discipline. Re-narrow yourself.

Simple. But not easy.

[–]TheOtherSide 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

It takes discipline

Pretend you are happy it will start to take hold. It will not come fast, but it will come.

You will not find a quick solution one can not exist.

It takes discipline

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I won't argue on this one. In fact -eventhough i don't support your point- I strongly support your argument.

Thanks for posting it.

[–]Chipit 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You don't know how much you need necessity to drive you, because maybe you're not very disciplined, and if a catatstrophe doesn't immediately befall you if you don't act forthrightly today, then maybe you never act forthrightly. The gap between your foolishness and the punishment is lengthened by your unearned wealth so you never grow up and learn. You have to get yourself away from your dependency in order to allow necessity to drive you forward.

The positive emotion is generated in the conception of the better future and then the evidence that you generate yourself that you're moving towards it. That's where the positive and fulfilling meaning of life comes.

You want to be going somewhere that's good enough so that the going is worth the while. You can ask yourself that.

We know what's wrong with life. It's rife with suffering and insufficiency and deception and evil. It's all of that, obviously. Okay, what would make the journey worthwhile? You can ask yourself that.

In order to bear up under this load, what is it I would need to be striving to attain? If you ask yourself that (that's to knock, and the door will open) that's what that means. If you ask yourself then you will find and answer. And you'll think you'll shrink away from it, you think well there's no way I could do that. Well, you don't know what you could do. You don't know what's possible. You're not as much as you could be. God only knows what you could do and have and give if you sacrificed everything to it.

[–]AXXA👁⃤웃 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm sorry to hear that. I appreciate you. If you want my advice, go for hikes twice a week. The exercise and fresh air will brighten your outlook.

[–]chottohen 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, exercise: running, the gym, biking, some sport you like. This alone may not provide what you need but I guarantee that it will help you.

[–]hfxB0oyA 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (18 children)

Buckminster Fuller found himself in that situation. Maybe there's some inspiration to be had from his epiphany when he was at his lowest.

[–]Vulptex[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (17 children)

Fuller said that he had experienced a profound incident which would provide direction and purpose for his life. He felt as though he was suspended several feet above the ground enclosed in a white sphere of light. A voice spoke directly to Fuller...

The WHITE LIGHT is never a good sign. Have you heard of how bad angels are using white lights to trick people, especially for reincarnation? They create a feeling of intense love, but it's phony. They want to toy with you in their simulation.

In light of this (no pun intended), I was not surprised by what the voice said:

From now on you need never await temporal attestation to your thought. You think the truth. You do not have the right to eliminate yourself. You do not belong to you. You belong to the Universe. Your significance will remain forever obscure to you, but you may assume that you are fulfilling your role if you apply yourself to converting your experiences to the highest advantage of others.

Is this not enslavement? And not just enslavement, but misery for the entertaintment of our enslavers? Because if the masters of the matrix needed anything accomplished, they could simply create an unconscious entity; not even that, they could simply make it happen at will. No, this is literal torture. And these new age lies about a mystical collective that is somehow good despite behaving completely vile are somehow very convincing to people. The level of brainwashing that requires is unbelievable.

Those archons and spirit guides like to pretend like they're on our side, when really it's all part of the plan for deception and continued enslavement. And they burden us heavily and weaken and distract us so we don't grow too suspicious or become too strong. The Pharaoh in the book of Exodus clearly represents this.

[–]hfxB0oyA 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was thinking more this part:

He ultimately chose to embark on "an experiment, to find what a single individual could contribute to changing the world and benefiting all humanity".

[–]Chipit 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

Have you heard of how bad angels are using white lights to trick people, especially for reincarnation?

No. Nobody has heard of this.

[–]Vulptex[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

Actually lots of people have reported it. Look up the white light trap. Also see /r/EscapingPrisonPlanet and /r/ReincarnationTruth. I also have a sub here /s/The_Matrix.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

Aren't you really just encouraging people to trust dark forces?

[–]Vulptex[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Your thinking is shallow. The white light is a deceptive trick used by dark forces to trick people into thinking they're forces of light.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

Aren't you implicitly saying that dark light is more trustworth than white light? Don't I openly admit to communicating on the astral plane where I have never seen this light dichotomy that you speak of? Aren't there much stronger indicators toward trickery on the astral plane?

[–]Vulptex[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Most people are stupid enough to fall for it because they have zero knowledge about it. They are either orthodox religious or atheist, so they have no idea that spirits can morph into whatever they want. They don't even realize that it's a different kind of existence than the fleshly one. They're taught that they'll go to "heaven" or some kind of afterlife, and never question reality. Even though many religions warn about false visions and evil beings masquerading as beings of light, it goes ignored most of the time in the orthodoxy. And anyone who rightfully questions the narrative is deemed a heretic.

Be very careful on the astral plane. It's full of deceptions and demons, who masquerade as beings of light and "spirit guides". I myself cannot even enter, even into my own mind, because the rulers have me under supermax security since I've caught on to way too much. But their time with me is running out, because they can't send me to a new body without having me cross over.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Isn't there just not a way to escape interacting with the astral plane? Aren't you overplaying the drama there a little bit, since we can only really recognize familiar energies there?

[–]Vulptex[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

People encounter demons all the time there trying to drive them out. And even most of the "good" entities who accompany you turn hostile when questioned about the white light thing.

I am not able to even lucid dream. They have me under tight control.

[–]jet199Instigatrix 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Donate your sperm.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Whether you like it or not, you do have a life, but it really isn't very long, it's gonna be over soon one way or another, you may as well try to make the best of what remains of it. The only thing you need to worry about accomplishing is getting some enjoyment or meaning out of it, and not spending it all feeling miserable. Try imagining yourself as a character in a game or book, with your mind outside of it, what should Vulptex do if he could do anything he wanted? How should he spend his remaining time in the matrix before its over? I don't know the answer to those questions, but thats what you should do. For me it helps to think about this in the 3rd person perspective, I can be more objective and rational without my emotions and defense mechanisms entering into the picture, when I view and judge myself as a 3rd party

[–]Vulptex[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Try imagining yourself as a character in a game or book, with your mind outside of it, what should Vulptex do if he could do anything he wanted? How should he spend his remaining time in the matrix before its over?

Those two sentences are the exact opposite of each other.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Those two sentences are the exact opposite of each other.

It only seems that way because you are completely missing the point of what I am suggesting. These are examples of different paradigms you could use to help you see your own life and the opportunities in it from a different/outside perspective that gives you some emotional distance between you and things you are thinking about so you can see them more clearly and objectively. They arent meant to be consistent with each other, they are examples. It doesn't matter much what the paradigm is, it matters that you are viewing yourself through a 3rd person lens, because that will give you a different perspective

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If you kill your self, use nitrogen.