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[–]Alienhunter 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Yep the instant I see a red flag I get the fuck out.

There might be a way to help these people but the social dynamics are played by them for their benefit and you certainly can't hope to fix anything while you are stuck in the thick of it. Get abused by your girlfriend all the while she's trying to erode and destroy all your other relationships so you will only stay with her? No thanks.

[–]SMCAB 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Exactly. You can't fix BPD that manifests in an interpersonal relationship when your ALWAYS in a relationship. That's not how it works.

There is a way to help. And they are incapable of doing it.

It's the worst thing I've endured. It changed me for the worse. I got the fleas bad and started acting like someone I'm not. It took me years to get back to me.

Never again. The only way to win the game is pack it up, tape up the box, and sell it at the garage sale to the next poor sap. And if someone tries to sell you the game again, cut bait through the bathroom window.

[–]Alienhunter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah wasted too much time and effort trying to find ways to deal with it. Only solution that works and won't destroy you is to leave. Just go. If that means walking away from other friends and family that are still in the orbit of the BPD person, or even work, literally anything, it's worth it. It's better to be homeless but free than to live in hell.

There is some slight respite that can be had by using their own tactics against them. Out crazy the crazy so to speak. "I'm going to hit myself and call the cops and say that you did it"

"Hell, well if I'm going to get in trouble anyway might as well get in trouble for actually beating the shit out of you, but you might have a difficult time calling the cops when I'm finished."

Stops it for a time. Don't need to even result to violence. Of course it does give her more ammo in the fight, she'll now make the true claim you threatened to beat the shit out of her. Hard to argue against that. There's no strategy that will see you victory there just a constant escalation of tit for tat nonsense that will destroy you if you try to play fair or turn you into a monster yourself if you try to play dirty.

The only winning move is not to play.

[–]SMCAB 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's truly something you can't come to terms that you even did.

People who know me are like, "There's no way you'd put up with that!", well you do. They almost don't believe you if they've never encountered it.

Amen brother. It's almost like being in a club. One I wish I wasn't in. Hahaha.