Things that NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS happened for a fantazilion bucks, Alex

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[–]slavdude0 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

True story. I was the bus.

Also your boyfriend is gay.

[–]LordoftheFliesAmeri-kin 2.0. Pronouns: MegaWhite/SuperStraight/UltraPatriarchy 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Also your boyfriend is gay.

He's probably from Canada. That's not to say that he doesn't exist, mind, like those other Canadian boy/girlfriends. It just explains why he's fine with piping another dude and considering himself hetero.

[–]xoenix 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Wholesome story.

[–]LordoftheFliesAmeri-kin 2.0. Pronouns: MegaWhite/SuperStraight/UltraPatriarchy 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I laughed, I cried, I cut myself a few times to relieve the excess emotion, then I went out and validated a Ben Franklin's girlhood with a vigorous handy of his ladycoque. This story completely destroyed my transphobia and remade me into a newer, better person!

[–]OuroborosTheory 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'm always reminded of the horny Ben Franklin reenactor (which isn't that far from the actual Benjamin himself)

[–]LtGreenCo 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is like a "and then everybody clapped" story, except it's "and then everybody transphobia'd".

I'll give him points for trying something different.

[–]NastyWetSmear 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I look forward to the Scottish police combing the countryside for these villains and preventing their wanton acts of vocalising their opinions. It's nice to know that if anyone is rude to me, for any reason, the Scottish police will be there to arrest them.

... At least, I assume this law against hurtful words extends equally to everyone, right?... Right?

[–]ihaveyourdress 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Schizo in action. Someone collapses on the bus and the driver...kicks them off instead of calling 911?

[–]jet199 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think he just got up himself when he realised no one was paying him attention.

I've seen a few Munchausen's types do this after a tantrum/fake fit.

[–]jet199 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I like that his excuse for his pathetic emotionally incontinent behaviour was "I am medically diagnosed as a woman!!!"

I mean who can argue with that logic?

[–]Femaleisnthateful 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

LoL I believe it. I would caution him against contacting police. That "I got upset" is probably euphemistic, and the cops would probably love to get hold of him.

[–]Wanderingthehalls 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I went to the fridge one morning to get milk for my coffee but there was no milk as I had forgotten I needed to buy some. I actually collapsed in my kitchen and fell to the tile floor in a heap. I felt lifeless. I couldn't move. I called my local Tesco manager and he actually talked to me enough that I regained function of my body. You are safe he said. Get off your floor and come buy new milk. Sobbing, it took my 40 minutes to walk the three minutes to my local Tesco. I bought the milk but cried so hard throughout the ordeal that even after drinking my milky coffee I was still dehydrated. I have no more energy left to make more coffee or even tea.

Tomorrow I will call the police and have them execute all the cows.

[–]alladd 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Oh man that's so tough how your narcissism was so overbearing that it forced you, a grown man, to have a pretend baby tantrum in public, then go home and continue your baby behavior in private, for the sole purpose of telling people about it on social media the next day. I mean, it sounds downright exhausting. You spent the entire day being a fake piece of shit for what, a couple of IG likes?

[–]OuroborosTheory 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

ironically the radfems stopped always insisting they were LITERALLY SHAKING a while ago because they realized it didn't make them look traumatized by rape society, but instead made them come off more as chihuahuas or cans of soda

[–]alladd 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

As if putting the word "literally" in front of your tantrum behavior is gonna make me suddenly believe that you're experiencing the equivalent of PTSD because someone brushed against your tit on public transportation or something.

[–]OuroborosTheory 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

also "microaggressions," since it literally means "one-millionth"

literally

[–]alladd 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You see, they're like fine-tuned emotional computers and your microaggression is a grain of sand in the circuitry. Everything goes tits up.

[–]OuroborosTheory 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I mean it was a name for unintended offenses like "I'm surprised you're so articulate/rational for a--well, you know ..." (which is a real enough thing) but they couldn't keep using it to extort pity points because it made them look like screaming ninnies

same with the "space buns" incident--if that's really the worst thing about being black in America, you can't exactly jeer that someone's "fragile" for not taking it well when they're physically roughed up, expelled from school, rats are stapled to their family's door, and the administrators make them Student of the Year or they became Dove Beauty Ambassadors or multimillionaire DEI consultants

it's like the Quebecois BAWWING because an Italian restaurant calls it "pasta" instead of "alimentary paste," thereby destroying their right of cultural existence