As of 60 minutes ago, r/BiologicalLesbians has been banned

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[–]StoneyTangawizi1 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Yep you would be shocked. I have seen many anti-goldstars and non-goldstars insulting goldstars for no reason such as you are "ugly, fat, socially awkward, femcel' that's why you are "undesirable and unfuckable" to men or just straight calling them "virgins because they never have real sex". I heard this a lot from many so called "lesbians": "how do you know for sure you are lesbian if you never fucked a guy"?

That's why I think goldstar positivity is important and should be heavily promoted and discussed in the lesbian community. It's messages can help more younger generation of lesbians become goldstars if someone told these girls that they don't need to ever experiment/be with a dude if they struggled to accept/figure out their sexuality or feel pressured by the society due to fucked up sexist hypocritical dickcentric male-worshipping heteronormative standards. If they know or heard that there are also lesbians out there who never been with a dude and never will do in their lives, they will desire and strive to become one as well. Thus greatly increasing the number of goldstars among the newer generation of lesbians.

Well there are a lot of goldstars who don't want to date or do anything/be associated with those who have been with males at all.

[–]reluctant_commenter 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

I have seen many anti-goldstars and non-goldstars insulting goldstars for no reason such as you are "ugly, fat, socially awkward, femcel' that's why you are "undesirable and unfuckable" to men or just straight calling them "virgins because they never have real sex".

What the fuck? That is just straight-up lesbophobia.

I heard this a lot from many so called "lesbians": "how do you know for sure you are lesbian if you never fucked a guy"?

Lol okay yeah that's just straight-up homophobia. I wonder-- I'm sure some claiming that who may actually not be lesbians, but I wonder if some of the non-goldstars are just super insecure about their past sexual experiences with guys. You know? And then lash that out on other people instead of dealing with it in therapy or whatever. That's really sad...

Well there are a lot of goldstars who don't want to date or do anything/be associated with those who have been with males at all.

Yeah, I find that a little odd but to each their own, I guess. I haven't really encountered anyone like that in real life and I think most people don't care too much about this whole goldstar-identification thing anyway when it comes to dating. But I wish people wouldn't bully each other over it either way...

Back before I discovered truelesbians, I spent some time browsing Tumblr and I came across arguments over the goldstar thing, claiming it was like bigoted or something. I think it must've been people making the arguments described in this archive link / that you've described, lol.

[–]VioletRemi 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

In my country it is the opposite what is true actually, gold-stars are often attacking everyone else for being not pure and not real lesbians, that even if you get raped you are stopping being lesbian in their eyes. So gold stars often seen as elitists and non-goldstar lesbians just assuming any gold-star will be an elitist bitch, and treated accordingly. And in general this phrase is pretty new here and came from west, and western stuff always twisted and taken by rich or elitists, I guess that played a role too.

I really hate this elitism as well. I am always glad for gold stars to not living through horrible experience lesbians in homophobic countries lived or one that I lived myself, and always cheering up for them, unles they are from the elitist squad, or from countries like USA, where they can easily be goldstar and ignoring that rest of the world is different.

In ideal world every lesbian will be gold star.

[–]StoneyTangawizi1 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Maybe it is for your country but its not for mine.

I am from a really conservative homophobic country in Asia but we don't really have much of this goldstar vs non-goldstar issue here. Because goldstars here are pretty much the nor among lesbians, due to the taboo and stigma against premarital sex, dating and relationship while virginity here is still highly expected for women. Not really, even being from countries like US, doesn't guarantee that lesbians can easily be goldstar there. There are still a lot religious homophobic people there and there is still a lot of pressure for women to date and fuck dudes from the society. In fact, almost all the non-goldstars I met were from "liberal progressive" Western countries. And I think it has to do with the very sex-obsessed culture in USA and other Western nations where premarital sex is rampant, people are expected to be sexually active since early age and sex-positive as in sleeping with anyone, while being a virgin is a sign of failure in life and seen as "loser or prude".

I learnt from another lesbian who is originally from Morocco that gold/platinum stars are pretty much the norm in her country as well due to the taboo against premarital sex which makes it even difficult for women who like men and wanted to date and fuck them to get laid and that she only ever met non-goldstars in Western countries.

Also I heard from another lesbian who is also from North Africa as well (not sure the country) who told me in her nation, there isn't an issue of goldstar vs non-goldstar there as goldstars are pretty much the norm among lesbians there, due to the conservative culture and attitude towards premarital sex and dating.

Also from another lesbian is originally from China that almost every lesbian she knows from there is a platinum star, because the Chinese attitude regarding sex and desire is very different from Westerners. They see being promiscuous/sexually active as "loose" or "bringing shame to the family". In fact, many Chinese wanted to be virgins until marriage.

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Well I am in the middle between West and East, so we took the worst from both, lol. Here lesbians were often forced into marriage, at first by law, and later by society. Now I think everything is much better.

And yeah, as I've said, golden star as phrase is new here as well, and mostly used by elitists (not always even lesbians, but bisexual women who never slept with men) to bully the rest. It is slowly going away as well, with raise of gay and lesbian acceptance.

Isn't platinum star is being born through IVF?

[–]StoneyTangawizi1 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

That's horrible. So there is much less forced marriage on lesbians in where you live now?

There are bisexual women who never been with males? How common is that phenomenon? I think its pretty rare. So you mean bisexual women are using that term to bully even lesbians? That's so strange to me.

No it means a lesbian who never interacted with a dude in any way whether kissing, dating or fucking him. It was coined to be different from goldstars who have may have kiss or date a guy, but never sleep with or do anything sexual with him.

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

So there is much less forced marriage on lesbians in where you live now?

Yeah, and mostly happening in small villages, or when bullied by surroundings. In bigger cities it is almost never happening, and nowadays our country is the least homophobic from post-USSR countries.

There are bisexual women who never been with males? How common is that phenomenon? I think its pretty rare. So you mean bisexual women are using that term to bully even lesbians? That's so strange to me.

Well, there are febfems. And there are "Virgin until marriage" - I knew at least one such bisexual, so they are sleeping with women only, because to them "sex without penis is not real sex, so they are still virgins". She was claiming to be "gold star lesbian" and was bullying lesbians around, but then jumped into marriage at around age of 25 and said like "I was always waiting for a good man, and wanted to be a virgin for him".

[–]StoneyTangawizi1 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yeah, and mostly happening in small villages, or when bullied by surroundings. In bigger cities it is almost never happening, and nowadays our country is the least homophobic from post-USSR countries.

Great to hear that it is much less common now. Is this Ukraine? How common are goldstars among younger lesbians that you met?

Well, there are febfems. And there are "Virgin until marriage" - I knew at least one such bisexual, so they are sleeping with women only, because to them "sex without penis is not real sex, so they are still virgins". She was claiming to be "gold star lesbian" and was bullying lesbians around, but then jumped into marriage at around age of 25 and said like "I was always waiting for a good man, and wanted to be a virgin for him".

What? That's crazy. I never heard of bisexuals claiming to be "goldstar lesbian". Although I do heard of reddit stories, where a supposed "goldstar lesbian" just suddenly wake up one day feeling attracted to a guy and wanted to date or be with him. But I don't know do those ones intentionally lied about being "goldstar" or just didn't know that they are latebloomer bisexuals.

And that's really lesbophobic: the sex without dick is not real sex and make them virgins part.

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

How common are goldstars among younger lesbians that you met?

I think majority. I would be one myself too, if not tried to make conversion therapy on myself, lol.

And that's really lesbophobic: the sex without dick is not real sex and make them virgins part.

I actually see such attitude from almost everywhere in the world, mostly from men, but often from straight and bi women too.

[–]StoneyTangawizi1 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think majority. I would be one myself too, if not tried to make conversion therapy on myself, lol.

Even among those your age range? (sorry I don't know how old you are). Do you think goldstars are more common in where you live (Ukraine?) than in Western countries?

I actually see such attitude from almost everywhere in the world, mostly from men, but often from straight and bi women too.

Yes and it seems men are very disgusting and obnoxious with this attitude. Straight women also? Believe it or not, but I also have heard it from so-called "lesbians" as well especially from Tumblr, with this mentality, "goldstars are virgins forever until they die because sex without dick is not actual sex" but I feel they are just self-hating bisexuals ashamed of their sexuality or straight "political lesbians".