The male gaze

submitted by RedditHatesLesbians from self.Lesbians

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[–][deleted]  (12 children)

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    [–]yayblueberries 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I've had pretty much the same experience with straight men, nearly all of them have tried to figure out a way to get me to have sex with them. Some of them even played the long game. What a waste of my time, to believe somebody is just a friend, only to have them suddenly turn on me in the sense of trying to get into my pants! The few men who didn't, disrespected me entirely, probably because they thought I was unfuckable. Or because I am a bit of a radfem and don't put up with the more covert things men do to treat women as second-rate, like interrupting me or explaining things to me that I already know like I'm five.

    [–]Astrid2448 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

    Real talk... most of the women who say this (for clarification: “this” referring to girls who put down all women but themselves as problematic, stupid, or boring) think it’s “easier” to be friends with men because they won’t call them out the way another woman would. If she acts like a jackass they’ll either say “eh, women are crazy (in other words: “I have low standards for this person’s behavior because they are female”)” or “she’s hot, let it go”. They don’t have to take accountability and their insecurity doesn’t have to face “competition”. That’s why

    [–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    Real talk... most of the women who say this (for clarification: “this” referring to girls who put down all women but themselves as problematic, stupid, or boring) think it’s “easier” to be friends with men because they won’t call them out the way another woman would.

    I agree that women who put down all women but themselves, are concerning and probably have some issues they need to work out. But I think you are making an unfair generalization about why some women might find it "easier" to be friends with men.

    I usually find it easier to form casual (but not close!) friendships with men because many of my hobbies are far more popular among men than women. For example, I follow the stock market, love watching financial crime documentaries, and am interested in building a computer. Most of the people I know who also share these interests are men.

    I would love to know more women who share my hobbies but am not sure where to find them. Maybe I should make a post about it here. :)

    [–]Astrid2448 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    I'm not making an unfair generalization. Im not talking about people who just happen to like idk football or something and make friends with the guys on their team. I'm talking about women who are frankly sexist and go out of their way to say things like "I like men because women are so vapid and annoying" or "I like having fun and making silly jokes and women are too uptight for me because of that". I already clarified that

    [–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I just looked back at the comment chain and saw your response to u/a_blue_bird, sorry I didn't see that before.

    I think your first comment might have been easily misinterpreted, but it sounds like we are agreeing on the same thing then, so cool.

    [–]Astrid2448 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Its alright, don't worry about it

    [–]a_blue_bird 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    most of the women who say this think it’s “easier” to be friends with men because they won’t call them out the way another woman would. If she acts like a jackass .. They don’t have to take accountability and their insecurity doesn’t have to face “competition”.

    Seriously? Most of the women who get along with men are insecure jackasses who can't take accountability for their actions? And men are friends with them only because they have low standards for female behavior? Lol. You must be a radfem.

    [–]yayblueberries 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    I love how you get totally defensive and butthurt over this and use the typical male attempt at an insult by calling her a "radfem" as if that's a slur and a way to get her to shut up. You proved her point totally correct, and I AM a radfem, if you can't get along with other women and get along better with men it IS because you're a broken and twisted person, you're likely a self-hating misogynist. At the bare minimum you obviously hate women who stand up for the rights of women, you're so nasty and disgusting that you think "radfem" is an insult.

    Go fuck dudes if you hate women so much. Or fuck off this sub if you are a dude, it sounds like it.

    [–]a_blue_bird 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    I get along with women, I just don't get along with feminists. You are totally fine with her calling women who have mostly male friends ''jackasses'', ''insecure'', claiming that men only hang out with women because of ''low standards'', even add that I'm ''broken and twisted'', ''nasty and disgusting'' and what not. Lol. This is why pretty much nobody at this point can tolerate feminists. You are digging your own grave, good luck with that.

    [–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I am not the person you're responding to, and have pretty feminist views. I don't have anything against radfems, although I don't think I qualify as one.

    But, I disagree with this part of what you said:

    if you can't get along with other women and get along better with men it IS because you're a broken and twisted person, you're likely a self-hating misogynist.

    I replied to a different comment with this, but basically: Many (although not all) of the hobbies and interests I have, are way more popular with men than women. On average. So right off the bat, it is often easier for me to relate with guys who are excited about topics X Y and Z, and I am excited about X Y and Z too. Almost all of my close friendships are with women, so I don't believe I am the type of person you are describing. I can't say I have a perfect relationship with myself, but I am working on it. :)

    I do know at least one woman who is VERY much like you describe, though. It is a real phenomenon.

    edit: To be clear. I don't think I am a "broken and twisted person" because I often get along better with men than women. But, I do think some women-- though not all-- hang out with only guys because they are misogynistic.

    [–]Astrid2448 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    No, Im not a radfem and that is not what I said. I’m talking about the girls who say stuff like “I can’t stand women, I only get along with men! Women are soo much drama, they’re all so toxic! I like talking about more than just shoes and lipstick!”

    I have male friends too, I think most people have at least a few. That isn’t the point. It’s the girls who go out of their way to say their own sex isn’t as worthy of their time as men are, and that all women are apparently problematic, stupid, or boring except for them.