Indoctrination / DoublethinkThe straight girls of r/gaytransguys mourn the loss of their enablers/trans widowers

submitted by CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee from (reddit.com)

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[–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

It belongs here.

These trans men expect guys to change their sexuality to stay with an unstable science experiment (or at least they wish they would) and even when the guy stays the trans men are "never seen as real men".

These trans men need to accept they can't control how others see them or if desire changes along with the secondary sex characteristics.

I am livid when I see these people transition after being with someone for decades, after having children.

Way to use your percieved cis male privilege for decades then come out as a woman and become the first woman anything. The fucking balls on these men!

Gender critical has been taken over by thought police. I don't think it is as active anymore because some mods can't stand anyone with a differing opinion.

Gender critical my ass. Don't post anything there, who knows how many people like me are blocked for no good reason. I joined saidit almost exclusively to use that sub LMAO

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I figured that place would be in trouble when they banned me because someone's feelings were hurt when I said one of them posted the random musings of an ideologue. They began their current purity spiral over a year ago. What's that saying about gazing long into the abyss?

[–]WildApples 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Interesting. I did not know the sub was being moderated to that extent. I noticed it was much less active, but I thought that was related to people switching to Ovarit after various SaidIt outages. That's a bummer.

[–]soundsituationI myself was once a gay 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You can always check the mod logs - they're publicly visible for every sub on this site.

I'm a (new-ish) mod over there and I don't think the sub is being accurately characterized here. Very, very little is removed. Bans are infrequent and are reserved almost exclusively for trolls. That said, it's true that certain opinions unrelated to gender ideology are forbidden from discussion, so I see what the other users here are saying.

[–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sorry friend but glad I'm not alone.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I can see the relevance to our group, but I think when it's more tenuous or appears in the comments of the linked post, the relationship to our mission should be spelled out in an explanatory comment here and made clear in the subject of the post. I do think it's absolutely sad to see longstanding relationships with what appear to be reasonable and loving partners destroyed by these delusions.

Ngl, this post reminds me of my guilt over leaving my longstanding and supportive heterosexual relationship when I came out as gay, but my homosexuality is an easily observable fact and I wasn't leaving for validation purposes. I didn't want to be seen as different. Christ. That's a huge part of what kept me in the closet so long. It's not all fun and games when there's no choice but a lot of consequences. There was an irreconciliable, factual incongruence there that these transwidowers make a mockery of. The comment from the 38-year-old woman "realizing" she was trans at 30 especially struck me. Is gender identity something firmly set in childhood that kids just know and are absolutely certain of or not? How did this person survive 30+ years of apparently being violently "misgendered" without being a trans suicide statistic? Something tells me that pronouns were never important to her before. Also, query whether this is someone whose trans-identification began before or after becoming a mom. The latter seems exceedingly rare.

Of course, the most relevant examples to us in s/LGBDroptheT are gay couples that split up because one of them wants to chase their impossible dream of being straight. This seems way more common on the FtM end rather than the MtF end. And of course, possibly even worse, the pressure on the non-trans-identifying partner to identify as something other than gay or lesbian despite their factual homosexuality for the sole purpose of validating the transition of the now "straight" partner. Gay couples holding themselves out as heterosexual couples is stomach-turning. That's the nightmare that gay people in Iran and Pakistan have to deal with. To see it celebrated in the west is bonkers.

I agree that I don't love the s/gendercritical subsaidit, which is why I'm not active there, and I often wish we had a separate subsaidit where we can post non-LGB GC stuff that is still relevant to the wider issues. Some suggested an s/askLGBDroptheT subsaidit. I would like that.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think when it's more tenuous or appears in the comments of the linked post, the relationship to our mission should be spelled out in an explanatory comment here and made clear in the subject of the post.

Agreed. I've noticed this with several posts recently.

I think in the case of this post, a "colonization" flair might make sense-- because these straight women are using a purportedly "gay" space and label to talk about opposite-sex relationship drama. Which is pretty ridiculous, lol.

[–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you for the thoughtful reply. I agree completely.

My ex left me when he came out (2005) and we are on good terms now. It hurt so bad so I can sympathize with these folks but ultimately he needed to be himself.

I am a pretty "masculine" woman but that isn't how this works. I found gay porn and messages to men on our computer. He tried to change his attractions but he just made himself miserable and hurt me in the process. My advice is end it sooner rather than later.

I am in a very long relationship now (15 years) because I let go of that first love.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Gender critical has been taken over by thought police. I don't think it is as active anymore because some mods can't stand anyone with a differing opinion.

Lol, not to go too off tangent here but that's been my impression as well.

[–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Sending good vibes to all my fellow troublemakers. I still read GC but it annoys me when I want to comment!

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Dating since 13 so seems like the bf was fine with social virtue signaling and being manipulated as a teenager then becomes an adult and wants an actual relationship and possibly someone he can be sexually attracted to.

[–]BootsAndBeards 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I don't get how these relationships go on for so long. I read one post on some gay sub where a woman wanted to be nonbinary and made a post crying about how her straight boyfriend still saw her as a woman. I got banned for commenting that of course he saw her as a woman, he's straight. These people want to take hormones and undergo a milieu of surgeries to match a delusion and expect a partner to warp their whole sexuality around it too.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I don't get how these relationships go on for so long.

There's probably a lot of guilt-tripping going on in them. "You'd be a bad person if you left me just because I'm trans!" Among people in my gen, feeling ashamed for not seeming "open-minded" enough seems very common.

[–]Finnegan7921 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is part of the social contagion driven by social media. People are deathly afraid of being "outed" as some form of bigot b/c news of it will spread like wildfire. I can't even imagine on a college campus what dumping one of these loons would do to a person, b/c within hours that person would be denounced as a nazi transphobe instead of a person who just wanted a normal relationship without insane amounts of drama.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I think this thread of heterosexual people discussing leaving their heterosexual relationships is more appropriate for s/gendercritical.

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee[S] 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think these heterosexual women leaving their heterosexual boyfriends/husbands because of their fetish for gay men keeps it relevant. Also this comment:

Exactly like cishet guys and trans guys cannot have a really healthy relationship

Highlights them grooming each other to go after gay men.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Good for them; Get out while you can- lads, before their voice drops, and other unpleasant and unhealthy things.

My favorite part is how there's a touching storying down in the comments about how the women in their lives are just as capable or more so than the men in them and how proud of and inspired they by their mothers accomplishments, while in the same breath they are talking about wanting to transition out of being women to become their true selves as men wtf