Indoctrination / DoublethinkAnd everybody in /r/tttt clapped

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[–][deleted] 32 insightful - 16 fun32 insightful - 15 fun33 insightful - 16 fun -  (20 children)

Chunkee, holy shit did you find a goldmine. I can't help but comment again.

I'm a non-binary ace lesbian who also dated a guy once before I knew I was gay, and if it wasn't for TERFs, gold stars and exclusionists, I would have probably come to terms with my identity a lot sooner.

So ... a person who doesn't identify as male or female, and a person who experiences no sexual attraction or desire, and is also somehow a lesbian.

And it's lesbians and TERFs fault this is unclear.

Wut?

[–]howdidthishappen 25 insightful - 4 fun25 insightful - 3 fun26 insightful - 4 fun -  (19 children)

Bit off topic, but the amount of times I’ve seen “gold stars” mentioned as these evil, exclusionary villains, is a hundred times higher than I’ve seen it talked about or even mentioned in any way in lesbian spaces over the 10+ years I’ve been out the closet.

Never met a lesbian who gives a serious shit about it and I don’t think I’ve ever met an actual “gold star” lesbian and I don’t think I’d count as one either.

Where are they pulling all these “gold stars” from lol?

[–]fuck_reddit 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Same for “gold star gays”. Im one myself and it’s more of a joke for me. I also clearly dont put any weight on it cause my bf had two pregnancy scares before he came to terms with his sexuality.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

I do believe that we should tell young gays and lesbians that you don't need to have sex with the opposite sex to know you're a homosexual, and be positive towards goldstars, but majority of the time, it's only taken seriously online. I've seen people say silverstar lesbians aren't real lesbians, but that's on tumblr and other places.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (10 children)

Whats a silverstar lesbian?

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (7 children)

A silverstar lesbian is a lesbian that had sex with a man once, and never again. Depending on one's opinion, sex could be anything sexual with the opposite sex, or just PIV and PIA sex.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (6 children)

Emm, then I would be a silver lesbian by this definition, but I never counted it because my experience was too young (like before puberty young) and kinda pretend I never touched a dick, even though technically I did have sexual relationships. In traditional heterosexual culture, complete sex and virginity is only penis in vagina., not oral nor anal. I still don't get why in USA culture anal seem to get higher point than oral as sex. The anus isn't more sex organ than a mouth is, and surely anal doesn't make more sex than oral.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I feel like it would be fair to say one has lost their virginity with anal and vaginal sex imo, because it does involve penetration, regardless if you're gay, lesbian, straight, or bi.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Technically a blowjob is penetrating too. Also, the fact that must to be penetrative to count is phallocentric bs. And the idea of losing virginity is also bs, there is nothing to lose.Virginity is made up thing like Santa. If anal counts, so does oral. They both sex. The whole idea sex is only valid when penetrating is one of the most phallocentric sexist shit, which constantly put women on women sexual relationships on a lower/less important role than the one involving male.

[–]soundsituationI myself was once a gay 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I honestly agree. Maybe my sexuality biases me--it probably does--but I think physical intimacy should be conceptualized differently: "being sexual" instead of "having sex".

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Well woman on woman sexual relationships can include vaginal and anal sex, but with toys and mouths, but I do agree that anal, vaginal, and oral is sex, otherwise it wouldn't be called sex idk.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I might be wrong, but I think I'm right about this, a gold star lesbian or gay man has never had sex with the opposite sex. It's a self-deprecating joke that references the gold star stickers little children are given at school when they do well.

A silver star would presumably be a lesbian who's had sex with a man once. I don't think it's slang so much as a play on words.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah it's mainly a joke like "You've never had sex with a man? Here's a gold star for you!"

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Bit off topic, but the amount of times I’ve seen “gold stars” mentioned as these evil, exclusionary villains, is a hundred times higher than I’ve seen it talked about or even mentioned in any way in lesbian spaces over the 10+ years I’ve been out the closet.

They're just salty that they can just identify their way into being gold star.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Usually TQ+ is angry that there's lesbians that never had sex with a man, and think that it's biphobic and transphobic, even though it has nothing to do with trans or bisexuals.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Same. I think the “gold star” topic came up once in the wild for me and it was by a much older women who had just come out as bisexual and wanted to date woman. She said her friend (who sounds suspiciously like an amalgamation of standard comments at r/LBL) said that lesbians won’t date you unless you’re a gold star. I was out with two lesbians, both of whom had been out for nearly a decade and at least one of whom I know not to be a gold star. I’m not a gold star either. Literally no one has ever cared about my history or even asked if I’m a gold star. This seems more like an Internet myth cultivated by the inexperienced and passed on by the inexperienced and it does get cited against lesbians in a very aggressive way. Maybe once or twice online I saw a lesbian seriously state that they only wanted gold star lesbians and one of them was dating a bisexual woman with kids from her previous relationship with a man, so uh, yea.

As a side note, this first lady was a friend of a colleague (really my superior). I was roped into this under the guise of us being welcoming to her but it seemed like I was unknowingly against my will backdoored into a date with my boss’s friend by his wife. Fun times turning down those advances while trying to avoid awkwardness at work.

And for the record, I was closer in age to her kids than to her. 🤣 She looked very good for her age, but she also looked and acted 100% like a Real Housewife. Not exactly my type.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 2 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

"she also looked and acted 100% like a Real Housewife."

Do you mean elegant, feminine and horny? Hot

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Overall, I seem to be attracted to masculine appearing women with an interesting mix of feminine and masculine qualities or feminine appearing women with an interesting mix of feminine and masculine qualities. I personally fall into the latter camp. I guess I like women who surprise me. And it’s all about having some obvious combo of both. Not a blend. Not neither. She was just feminine but demanding and high maintenance.

She has multiple instagram accounts including one for fashion. She is conventionally pretty, feminine in appearance, and wealthy, has expensive taste, and yes did make some thirsty comments to me. And it’s because of this whole fiasco that I ended up committing to the relationship I’m currently in . . . .

This woman was assertive, but not in the ways I’m attracted to. She was loud and demanding to waitstaff. I am an introvert so I tend to do better with extroverts who are chill in many ways. She had no chill and was very exhausting to be around. Also, I didn’t like her voice.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Ah, I get this. Totally annoying type of woman, As an introverted, don't you do better with others introverts? I like I feel more connection to someone of the same wave lenght? What would you describe as feminine and masculine qualities? I don't like masculinity, in a look sense and especially behaviour sense.Not that is impossible for me to be attracted to masculine women, after all they're women. But its far less likely because I like femininity. Also to me femininity is huge part about mannerism/personality. How did you end up with your girlfriend after this wealthy bitch? Lol

PS: Voice is important to me too. I find high type of very feminine voices attractive.