LifestyleWhen memes about iced coffee and cuffed jeans go too far, everyone loses

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[–]reluctant_commenter 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (17 children)

I completely agree. I am really tired of all these stereotypes being perpetuated about female homosexuality/bisexuality (very often by people in the "LGBTQ+" community). It mischaracterizes homosexuality, it puts down people who fit some of the stereotypes and trivializes their actual personalities, and it erases the lesbians who don't look like what someone's stereotype-filled idea of what a "lesbian" is.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (16 children)

I'm glad we're not on s/lesbians now lmao, criticizing this was exactly what lead to my ban lmaaaooo. PS I obviously agree

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Wait, really? Like, buy into stereotypes if you want but they shouldn't get pissy if someone criticises it for what it is.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes, but they will put words in my mouth saying that I said butch women are men when I never once said that. Lmao. That's why that place sucks, very biased.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 9 insightful - 6 fun9 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I was baneed for the same reason. I can't stand masculinity being associate with lesbianism, which is by definition the most feminine shit ever.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Seriously lol? Have any screenshots/links? I'd be curious to see. You were one of the people there who I enjoyed reading comments from haha, so that's ironic. I stopped hanging out there because of how toxic it was... Perhaps it's gotten better but I've found myself a lot happier on s/lgbdropthet. There also used to be a ton of posts about hating bisexuals, and about "gold star" lesbians, neither of which I am much interested in. And a lot of arbitrary removing of posts.

Interestingly, most of the more recent banned lesbian subreddits I've seen-- e.g. r/BiologicalLesbians, r/super_lesbian-- had a way different tone than s/lesbians, much more positive. I wish they hadn't been banned.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This sub is funny. That sub was just serious, and at time, depressing. I don't why, but I've never found lesbian forum of my liking. Even the italian ones depress me. Especially when I realize how complicated women are lol

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

I was going to say I didn't because every comment on that post was literally removed.... Until I remembered I'm still allowed to see my OWN comments despite them being removed. I tried screenshot them all, maybe like 95% of my comments at least are there. Enjoy lmao (why didn't I remember this when people on lesbians were trying to difame me?) https://imgur.com/a/46lXnbT

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Thanks!!! Were those all removed?! If so, that's really crazy! I suppose if some were off-topic, but...

I totally agree with you about King Princess and Kristen Stewart and the others haha, I've never seen the appeal myself but that's just me. Also agree with your comments about stereotypes (as you'd imagine, given that you were responding to my comment earlier in this thread about it, lol.) I didn't see this post, so I'm not sure how heated it got elsewhere, but I will say, there is a fair chance that perhaps people were operating off of different definitions of what "femme" and "butch" are. I was actually talking with yousaythosethings a little while ago about how there might be some spillover from the "political lesbians" crowd into otherwise-lesbian spaces that is responsible for more extreme fixation on, and stronger reactions to, butch/femme labels. Maybe you accidentally pissed off a political lesbian or two? s/lesbians (and r/TL before it) does seem to have some sizeable crossover with GC. And I've seen several users floating around who I really wonder about, lol.

Strange the double standard, in any case. I think all lesbians are poorly represented and under-represented in media... I would guess femme lesbians get grossed out by all the male-gaze stuff surrounding basically any portrayal of femme lesbians. For myself, I am somewhat GNC and have been my whole life, but I've never made a conscious choice to do so. I don't defy gender roles or whatever, I just happen to be this way. Some people are like "I chose this outfit because I'm a lesbian and lesbians defy expectations!" and I'm like.... I think that is a misattribution error-- or in the most egregious of cases, believing stereotypes about lesbians and deciding to "fulfill" them yourself (saw one user on saidit who was like this). Personally, I never choose my outfits to prove anything hahaha. I just often end up buying men's clothing because I like it.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I can add you seem very feminine in character and femininity is first and foremost something coming from inside, not a piece of cloth.

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

That's a really interesting observation, thanks :) funny, it feels so strange to hear that, since I got so much shit for being too "masculine" growing up... "Why won't you play with girls' toys? Why won't you wear girls' clothes? What's wrong with you?"

Do you think of feminity as being personality traits, then? As opposed to, say, style of dress?

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 8 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I hated girls toys too. Baby dolls and kitchens, so boring, so sexist. I pretended I was a powerful man who owned the world and had a wife :D

Basically dominant lesbian me was already there LMAO

I liked to wear my father suit ties. But now I'm not masculine.

Femininity is definitely especially something coming from inside, your natural character, mannerism.

But also I like the feminine style, longer hair and normal female clothes.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Also, my real name is Elvira. But I called myself Elviro, like a male. Oh my God, can you imagine if I had born in one of this progressive families today. They would have convinced me to be trans.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Really! Your name is fucking awesome! Both versions sound cool. I thought it might be the name of a character from a book or something.

Oh my God, can you imagine if I had born in one of this progressive families today. They would have convinced me to be trans.

Yeahhhhh probably, and honestly my family might have, too... that thought disturbs me. I certainly got enough bullshit growing up about how I "played with the boys too much," wouldn't be surprised if I'd felt more peer pressure over it. As it is, I know people my age who had our age peers be like "you're secretly a man and in denial about it" and other homophobic BS like that.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thanks. It was my grandmother's name. I've got two others female cousins with same names. Here in Italy is tradition to being named after your grandparents.

It's actually pretty typical of homosexual to display opposite sex behaviour when they're young. In the end I didn't end up masculine and getting older has made me more into typical feminine style, but as a kid I really was a lot into the idea of being a male.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Perfect comment! I 100% agree with you, nothing to add!

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Aw, thanks!!!! :)