Where are you on the asexual spectrum?

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[–]censorshipment 18 insightful - 8 fun18 insightful - 7 fun19 insightful - 8 fun -  (5 children)

I used to think that, but I've learned from Reddit that women who aren't sexually interested in their partners have sex out of obligation. Not sure if they have low sex drives or they have (bad) partners who don't (try to) turn them on.

I once read a post where a woman said sex was very painful. She wasn't aroused, and her husband didn't use any lubricant. But she loved him, so she basically suffered for him. Yikes!

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I swear I never understood these people forcing themselves to have sex they don't want to have and asexual communities basically praising it as a so normal.

[–]bopomofodojo 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Is painful sex not a medical condition, though? That's not "asexuality", that's painful sex. I agree with the Yikes though.

There is a certain irony in A being included with LGB though. For years, didn't atheists argue that "we don't hate god, we don't believe in him". Is then Ace, by that same logic, not a sexual orientation? Like T, why is it lumped in with LGB? Asexuality is just that - no sexual attraction. I don't doubt it exists. But is it part of LGB? No. Absence of sexual attraction is not a sexual orientation; it is the lack of sexual orientation. Is it a "sexual minority"? Sure, but it's just more letters to dilute the acronym and turn it into the "big tent" of "not vanilla". LGB meant something important before 50 other letters diluted it.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd argue that if LGB is more like a group of atypical sexualities then technically a lack of one can count. The problem is LGB part has completely different issues to deal with than asexuals, whose biggest "problem" is just feeling weird/bad for being completely disinterested and being basically loners. It doesn't compare to LGB problems, which are about the right for adoption and marriage + protection against homophobia including violent one. Meanwhile asexuals are just weirdos at most and nothing else. In the worst cases they may end up being suspected for being gay (this happens to me but fortunately the people, who do aren't homophobes) but LGB has been already fighting for protection against homophobia included misdirected one.

[–]Shales123 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Painful sex could be due to vaginismus or vulvodnya which are medical conditions, but it could also be women who experience friction due to lack of lubrication because they're not turned on. And women can also develop vaginismus after being pressured into sex

Personally I have vaginismus so if I tried penetrative sex it'd be painful, but I'm not asexual at all, I just can't do penetrative sex

[–]slushpilot 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, that's not good. I'm sure there are people for whom sex is not pleasurable for many different reasons, or even just because, and hence they don't want it in their relationship.

But then, if "asexual" just meant that, then it would actually mean something. It's when it starts being combined with modifiers like "hypersexual asexuals" etc. that you start to wonder—is someone just making this up because it's really a kid who hasn't actually had sex (and maybe is too young to really want to), but has instead just read all about it on the internet?