The word "partner"

submitted by HelloMomo from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]EzukiRaen 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I've noticed something similar.

Where I'm from, I've only ever heard people in same-sex relationships say "partner". In the UK, it seems like everyone uses it.

It was strange to get used to at first and it was like a fun guessing game: "Is this person dating a man or a woman"? Everyone I've met so far who's said "partner" was in a heterosexual relationship and the one gay man I've come across said "boyfriend". Now, if someone says "partner", I'm much more inclinced to think they're straight or in a heterosexual relationship. (Though, in hindsight, this could also be because I just haven't had too much interaction with local gay community.)

Also, I've heard people using "partner" often enough that I honestly can't tell if they're trying to be trendy or if this is just the new norm in the UK.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Also a thing here in Ireland, where it’s not uncommon for opposite-sex couples to just live together and call each other their partner. When someone talks about his partner, it doesn’t indicate his orientation to me, but his marital status.

[–]emptiedriver 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

yeah, I'm bisexual and have lived with but not married people of both sexes. At a certain point after paying rent together, buying furniture or a car or a house, moving, going to family things together or hosting them, caring for a pet (or a child!), or generally sharing life for a long enough time it just starts to feel awkward to say boyfriend or girlfriend. "Partner" is the best option, and in some countries is recognized as a legal status. You might just be noticing it more because you're getting older and more people have settled down.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In Ireland, cohabitation is increasingly more popular. It has had a legal status here since 2011, although married couples still get more rights in terms of taxation, immigration and inheritance. Previously, there were also no shared parental rights - if a mother and father were simply living together, the father would have had to file paperwork with consent from the mother of his children so that he could codify his rights to his children under law. This meant that if the mother died and her parents hated the father, they could take the kids from him because the law did not recognise the children as his own, unless he’d already established paternity over the children while the mother was alive. Thankfully, this changed in 2016 - since then, if the couple were living together for at least 12 months, then any child born into the relationship is the legitimate child of both the mam and the dad. The father has full legal rights and if the mother were to die, he gets sole custody. He still has to have lived with the mother for 12 months, including one moth after the child is born, to be the child’s legal father, which is ridiculous, but it still removes unnecessary bureaucracy and grants rights to the father and to his children. Also, cohabitating couples, same sex or opposite sex, have had the same adoption rights as married couples since 2017. In essence, if I want a man and to have children with him, I don’t need to get married as long as my partner is an EU citizen.

[–]reluctant_commenter 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When someone talks about his partner, it doesn’t indicate his orientation to me, but his marital status.

Yeah exactly. I do not feel like it is a word being "co-opted" or stolen, in part because of this.

[–]slushpilot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

What does "partner" indicate about marital status though? It does indicate a longer-term commitment, but it could be anything, really.

[–]KingDickThe2nd 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

In New Zealand the use of the term 'partner' would imply a "defacto relationship", which is a legally recognised relationship that is similar to the American concept of cohabitation (although with considerably more rights).

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In Ireland, de facto partners also get rights, but they are limited to hospital visiting, social security rights, property ownership, domestic violence protections and some inheritance rights. De facto couples can also adopt since 2017 if they’ve been living together for at least three years, and they can foster children since the 1990's.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It indicates cohabitation, but not marriage. In Ireland you call the person you’re cohabitating with your domestic partner, life partner or just partner for short.