I think the other thing is that we who have family-induced CPTSD often have to raise ourselves and our siblings so we don’t have the urge to raise more humans when we have firsthand experience with how horribly wrong it can go. I like kids but I’d rather dote on other people’s and work on making this world a better place for them.

The other thing I find embarrassing is that yes, I have childhood trauma and no, it’s not sexual and not from a man, but that people will be like “well of course she ended up gay because of it.” Throughout my life I just craved normalcy, independence, and stability and the ability to create my own life so I was very in denial about being gay because I saw it as a threat to this. I am still guarded about who knows, and still don’t share it widely. I deal with internalized homophobia as a result of it. The queer-jacking has made everything SO MUCH WORSE because it went from being “you can be gay and a normal, productive member of society” and live whatever life you wanna live with most options not closed off and now it’s “look at me and how oppressed and intersectionally vulnerable I am and everyone must center me.” Plus the codification of the desires of those with cluster B personality disorders into law has been, dare I say it, triggering. It’s been really bad for my mental health honestly. Definitely encourages my dissociative tendencies.